Dave Wasserman just called AZSenate for Mark Kelly!!
Dave Wasserman @Redistrict
I've seen enough: Sen. Mark Kelly (D) wins reelection in #AZSEN, defeating Blake Masters (R).
12:46 AM · Nov 11, 2022
18.2K Likes
Gonna take a small personal privilege... I troll Kurt Schlicter a lot, but never over the line. I gently poke fun at his hyperbaric lunacy. He's actually retweeted some of my reactions to him. He did a whole big column before the midterms: "Be Caring for the Libs’ Feelings When the Red Wave Hits". Here is his juvenile drooling and fantasy killings in spoiler. If you can deal with his stupidity, it's a great setup for what's next.
► Show Spoiler
Be Caring for the Libs’ Feelings When the Red Wave Hits
Kurt Schlichter Nov 07, 2022
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
The next few days will be very difficult for the progressives, pinkos, commies, and other Democrats around you as they watch most – or perhaps all, if it is a red tsunami – their dreams die at the ballot box. You should take their profound sadness into account when you deal with them, and do everything you can to make the process of dealing with their total humiliation as miserable as possible.
It's not about healing. It’s about hurting. It’s righteous retribution for their myriad wrongs. And it’s fun to make bad people suffer. Mock them. Belittle them. Call them “election deniers.” Rub their smug, Botoxed faces in their failure.
Point out, accurately, that their embarrassing rejection by America is personal, that they are malignant and ridiculous people who thought that the angry weather goddess had blessed them with the divine right to rule over the rest of us. But they were wrong, totally and completely wrong, and the misery they are experiencing is all their fault.
It is proper that you do this mercilessly. It’s for their own good. You see, in our soft, silly culture, we have forgotten the undeniable reality that the best teacher for people too dumb to learn from others’ experiences is pain. They did not learn from history that if you are incompetent, corrupt, yet still arrogant, the people will toss your sorry butts out of power. And pain is what they are likely to feel as the red wave drowns what remains of the Biden Administration’s fantasy of FDR II: Dementia Boogaloo. You owe it to them to amplify their agony. It’s for their own good. You’re helping them. But even if that was not true, it’s fun to mock them. And that’s reason enough.
Let’s review the things they hold most dear, and how we are going to use our power to destroy them.
There’s abortion. Oh wow, did they ever get upset at the Supreme Court for making it slightly less convenient in some states to kill your baby? Well, it’s time for a hot truth injection. Most people aren’t gung-ho about the procedure anyway – even most pro-choice people are a bit queasy about it – and this grotesque insanity of thinking Americans will en masse buy into the idea that it’s A-OK to cap a kid on B-Day minus one is just delusional. Well, say goodbye to a save from Congress, since all Congress belongs to us.
And speaking of delusions, look for Congress to refuse to fund the sick mutilation of disturbed people. Our not-at-all-senile President – the last remaining flimsy line defense against a resurgent GOP – will have to either sign off on it or veto some must-pass bill that contains the mutilation ban. We eagerly await the Oval Office Sniffer shutting down the government to preserve the ability of butchers to cut the healthy penises and breasts off of children to conform them to the Chardonnay and daddy issues-soaked delusions of Democrat wine moms. That will be an incredible look!
And let’s not forget about how endangered Our Democracy is by people voting for the candidates they prefer – which are Republicans. The American people hate democracy or something – all I know is that I am always deeply moved by some 150-pound blue check with a Ukrainian flag in his bio who has to ask whether the Navy is the one with the ships telling me that I’m insufficiently patriotic because I refuse to obey the Official Approved Narrative™.
Watch as Kevin McCarthy – if he wants to keep his new job, and he wants to keep his new job – boots Toots Swalwell and Adam Schiff off the Intel Committee and undertakes other forms of payback. It’s especially amusing when you remind libs that they enacted the new rules, and now those new rules are their suppository.
Oh, there shall be oversight and the concurrent wailing and gnashing of teeth. Remind your mourning lib friends that if the Republicans are smart – admittedly a risky wager – then they will go on the road with their hearings, bringing the truth out to that faraway place called “America.” And, incidentally, establishing a venue for any perjury or contempt actions outside of the Democrat jury pool in DC.
Now, be sure to chide your sobbing Dem victims about how America hates CRT, COVID fascism, trans insanity, teachers unions, defunding cops, open borders, and all the rest, all while rejecting “reproductive health care,” “gender-affirming health care” and “chemical healthcare” in the form of the tons of fentanyl the Democrats have allowed over the border to poison our people. Emphasize the rise of new superstars, like Kari Lake, Tudor Dixon, and Blake Masters who we will see again, win or lose. Ask them who is on their bench – two-time Georgia governor Stacy Abrams?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
But the real coup de grace is to twist the machete regarding Latinx Americans’ large-scale abandonment of the Democrat Party in response to the Democrats’ embrace of the creepy and weird fetishes of the bored, Adderall-addled blue suburban cat ladies who set the party’s agenda. The Democrats were all in on Hispanic Americans being a permanent subservient serf class obeying at election time in exchange for a few scraps. None of them married a Latin woman. The biggest story of this cycle is how Hispanic Americans began in earnest what will be a growing migration to the party sharing their flag, faith, and family beliefs. Look for the Democrats to decide this is proof that Hispanics are white supremacists. Also, it should make for some awkward moments in blue households where the lib patrons try to conceal their resentment of their housekeepers, nannies, and gardeners, who are the only Hispanic people these frauds know. Take care to grind the Dems around you for this kind of hypocrisy and cringe racism. It makes them unhappy.
Oh, and as you mock them for losing, make sure to remind them that President Boneyank and Veep Kackles are gearing up to run again, so that means in 2024 the Republican is almost certain to take over. And 2024 is a bad Senate year for Democrats – eleven of them have to run in Trump states. Gosh, that could mean a filibuster-proof majority for the GOP. And when that happens, we’re going to just laugh and laugh and laugh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Kurt.
Well, all that venom and madness blew up in his LA lawyer face (yes, he's an attorney). Brought tears to my eyes (of laughter). He says the quiet part out loud, it's what they are all thinking:
That Could Have Gone Better
Kurt Schlichter Nov 10, 2022
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
The red wave we expected is, as of this writing, a red splash at best, and we need to rigorously evaluate exactly why the ferocious grizzly bear we expected turned out to be a gentle little bunny. We will probably end up with the House. We might get the Senate, maybe after a run-off in Georgia. Gee, familiar? But we are not going to obliterate the Dems.
Here's the thing – Biden is not only terrible, but most people think he is terrible. Yet even with that, plus the historical trends, and a powerful issue set, we did…okay at best, and lots of us are already howling. The problem is not that we did not advance – we probably will in the House at least, and as Warren Buffet once observed, you never go broke making a profit. The Senate…hmmmm. Our problem is that we set huge expectations, and they simply did not pan out.
How realistic were our expectations? In hindsight, which is the clearest and most accurate sight, not particularly realistic at all. People were talking about 50 House seats. It looks like maybe a dozen or so. The fact is that we had won a lot of the red seats in prior cycles and consolidated them – we were reaching for blue seats in 2022. To the extent we failed to hit our goal, it was a pretty hard goal. We were just not realistic about that.
This cycle's Senate map was always tough. The polls indicated they were close pretty much the whole time. Was polling inaccurate? Yes, where it gave us false hope. For example, Bolduc in New Hampshire was supposed to be close. It was…not close. This is a teachable moment, like getting hit by a car teaches you to look both ways. We need to ask ourselves what we can learn because when life gives you lemons, you must juice them and mix that juice with some sort of clear liquor, and after you sleep it off, you need to think about what went wrong.
We mentioned expectations. We need to manage them in the future. It was great to think there was a red tsunami coming, but that left us primed for disappointment. And we were.
Here's a big factor – much of America is more liberal than we want to accept, and a whole lot of Americans are willing to tolerate the garbage policies Democrats push. Some people just don't want freedom – they liked the COVID crap and support woke fascism. There are a lot of these people, though not in Florida, and liberals are gonna liberal no matter how poor and miserable that makes them and everyone else.
They say candidates matter, of course, but how much do they really? The fact is that Pennsylvania elected a bizarre ogre. Here's the thing – party allegiance is enduring in ways it never used to be. That Fetterman won is an indicator. You vote for that freak of nature only if you are purely partisan. I do not begrudge them that. It's about getting the Senate seat. But appeals pointing out the fact that Fetterman is a mutant did not get it done. Sure he's a mutant, they thought, but he's our mutant.
There will be a lot of talk about "bad candidates," which is usually started by people whose chosen candidate lost in the primary. But there is a lot of evidence that voters will vote for anybody on their side. "Good" candidates lost, too; "bad" candidates won.
There will be talk of money, and who supported which candidate sufficiently. Mitch McConnell wanted to be the Senate Majority Leader, and he might not have gotten it done. That's on him. You can argue he should not have stiffed this candidate or wasted money on that one, but it does not really matter. He had one job, and it's not clear as of this writing that he did it. This doesn't excuse other people who had a part in this clusterfark, but his job is to get the majority, and it's not clear he has.
And, of course, there's Trump. My DMs and texts are exploding with people who are all done with him, people who do not want him to run in 2024 and think he's a liability. They are quick to blame him for much of this. I think that's justified, but I think it's also too easy. If we toss him out, that doesn't solve the GOP's structural problems. A lot of voters will never vote for us. We have to fix that.
Trump certainly should own the losses of the candidates he pushed in the primaries – like Dr. Oz – just as he takes the accolades for the ones who won. He was planning to announce next week, according to many people of varying reliability. That would be a huge mistake; Republicans have a bad taste in their mouths right now, and the last thing they want to do is hear from him. Republicans are going to want to win more than ever in 2024, and the big knock on Trump is that he won't. After the results in Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Wisconsin in 2022 (not to mention 2020), how does he argue that he can win these states? What's the plan? More and meaner nicknames? There's no sugarcoating it – Trump was a huge loser yesterday.
What went right? The big winning theme was competence. That was really the heart of Ron DeSantis's appeal in leveling the Democrats in Florida. He's a good governor. So are Brian Kemp, Glenn Youngkin, and Greg Abbott. They get the job done – not perfectly, of course, but well enough that both normal people and some Democrats will vote for them. No drama, no trauma. Look for Ron DeSantis to wait to announce until long after Trump does, keeping his powder dry and racking up points for doing his job competently even as Trump exhausts the party with his antics, which are kicking up again in the form of fake announcements or picking dumb fights.
Election night 2022 sucked, and that's not what we were expecting. The Democrats, for their part, will be able to put off a much-needed personal inventory for a couple more years. The lesson they will take is that nothing matters – they can screw up and move up, and that seems to be true. Biden certainly runs – that senile weirdo thinks this is a personal vindication. It's not, but that does not matter. We conservatives, however, need to think through clearly how the hell we can keep election night 2024 from being another letdown.
So when Wasserman said Kelly won, saw a Kurt tweet about how wrong Dave was about MAGA and the election and reminded him of his prediction that the GOP would lose the midterms (he said they would lose if they passed any type of gun control and of course they did). Will not let him live it down. But in a caring way like I do.
Kurt Schlichter @KurtSchlichter 37m
He’s completely misreading the situation
Quote Tweet Dave Wasserman @Redistrict 16h
The contrast between the failure MAGA enthusiasts and success of Rs running on bipartisanship/their own brands was even greater than I expected on Tuesday. Plenty of newly elected Rs now w/ strong incentives to break w/ Trump. twitter.com/kaitlancollins…
OrlyLicious
@Orly_licious 13m
Replying to @KurtSchlichter
Kurt Schlichter, you called it in May: GOP blows it & loses #Midterms2022.
Dave called #AZSenate for @CaptMarkKelly:
"Dave Wasserman: I've seen enough: Sen. Mark Kelly (D) wins reelection in #AZSEN, defeating Blake Masters (R). 12:46 AM · Nov 11, 2022"
- Kurt Retweet GOP Loses.JPG (62.57 KiB) Viewed 904 times
It's a lovely story, right?
s titular Mama June in Fogbow's Favourite Show™ Mama June: From Not To Hot! Fogbow's Theme Song™ Edith Massey's "I Got The Evidence!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5jDHZd0JAg
Jem and so many here get terrified (and love you Jem, thanks for asking about me For the GOP #Midterms2022 was indeed a BLOOD MOON BLOODBATH. Many insiders say excellent chance Democrats will WIN both NEVADA #CortezMasto & ARIZONA #MarkKelly, making GEORGIA #Warnock a cherry on top.
@mmpadellan 7h
x5
@Orly_licious
For the GOP #Midterms2022 was indeed a BLOOD MOON BLOODBATH. Many insiders say excellent chance Democrats will WIN both NEVADA #CortezMasto & ARIZONA #MarkKelly, making GEORGIA #Warnock a cherry on top. 
@mmpadellan 7h