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#76

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

This is the Owner's Manual I needed when I was born.

https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/relatio ... spiraling/
Relationships 2.0: How To Keep Conflict From Spiraling

When it comes to conflict, most of us just want to shut it down. But researchers are increasingly finding there’s a better way to handle disputes. This week, we kick off our new Relationships 2.0 series by asking: what if we stop trying to eliminate conflict and instead ask how can we do conflict better?

You can find read more of the work of Julia Minson at her website.

For more on conflict resolution, listen to our episode on how we grapple with contradictions.

Additional Resources
Toward a Psychology of Attitude Conflict, by Julia A. Minson and Charles A. Dorison, Current Opinion in Psychology, 2022.

Receptiveness to Opposing Views: Conceptualization and Integrative Review, by Julia A. Minson and Frances S. Chen, Personality and Social Psychology Review, 2021.

Conversational Receptiveness: Improving Engagement With Opposing Views, by Michael Yeomans et al., Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2020.

From the show's transcript:

Julia Minson:

So conversational receptiveness is the use of words and phrases to demonstrate to your counterpart that you're engaged with their point of view. Quite often when we give people advice about conflict and how they should handle conflict, we tell them, try to be more empathetic, try to take the other person's perspective, try to exercise intellectual humility. And what we found was that their counterpart has no idea that they're doing any of that. It's not transparent. And because it's not transparent, it has no effect on the conflict. And so conversational receptiveness is basically predicated on the idea that we need to demonstrate to people that were engaged with their point of view in a way that's visible and very easily recognizable to counterparts because you can't get credit for things in your head.

Shankar Vedantam:

Julia discovered through her research that there are four specific techniques that communicate conversational receptiveness.

Julia Minson:

And they make a nice acronym. The acronym is HEAR, as in 'I hear you.' The H stands for hedging. So it's saying things like perhaps or sometimes, or maybe. The E stands for emphasizing agreement. So I might say I agree that the last couple years have been really hard on people, or we both think that it's really important to make school safe for our kids. That A stands for acknowledgement. So it's essentially using some of your own airtime to restate your counterpart's position. And then the R stands for reframing to the positive. So you can basically say the exact same idea using positive words instead of negative terms, right? You might say, instead of saying I hate it when people interrupt me, you might say, I really love it when people let me finish.

Julia Minson:

This was five days, eight hours a day of nothing but mediation. And an important technique that mediators use is something they call the listening triangle, which is very conceptually related to conversational receptiveness. You ask a party in conflict a question, you listen to the answer, and then you say, well, I just heard you say X, Y, Z. Is that right? And then that starts the next round because you just asked a question. And so now you have to listen to the answer and then they finish talking and you say, aha, so it seems like you're saying blah, blah, blah. Is that right? And then you're just supposed to do this endlessly until the person you are listening to says, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it. Like I'm done. And I was impressed with this technique and I thought that this was really related to conversational receptiveness because it's all based on acknowledgement.
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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#77

Post by bill_g »

I like Hidden Brain stuff. It's always good.
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#78

Post by Foggy »

Me too, but sometimes it's hard to find it again when I need it. :shrug:
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#79

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

Another Hidden Brain with a similar technique as the one above about resolving conflict. Cross-posted from WHAT Did You SAY??!! thread.

https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/what-ma ... ps-thrive/
Relationships 2.0: What Makes Relationships Thrive

Harry Reis: Understanding is one of the most important things that we want in our close relationships. This is actually true beyond the realm of close relationships, but especially in our most intimate relationships, our marriages, our friendships, our connections with our siblings and the rest of our family. One of the most powerful things that we want is for there to be real understanding in those relationships. That the people on the other side know who we are and are caring and validating and accepting of that person.

Harry Reis: People feeling misunderstood is something that is growing by leaps and bounds in the world we live in now. With all these stresses and tensions that we have, there's more and more of a need to get connected with other people and part of that connection involves the sense of really understanding where people are coming from. In the old world, most of the people that you dealt with were people from your community. People who had lives that were relatively similar to yours, who lived with the same context as you lived with, and it was easy enough to understand them because everything that they were facing was the same as what you were facing. But now we are so much more mobile and we're so much more connected, we're coming across people who have different backgrounds, different goals, different priorities. Indeed, they may be living on opposite sides of the planet. And so the context is so much different and it's so much harder to establish that core base of understanding.

Harry Reis: Yes. Well, many times, we are much more interested in expressing our point of view than in listening to the other person's point of view. This is one of the great conversation skills that people sometimes need to learn. Instead of listening, people will be thinking about what's the next thing I'm going to say? And when you do that, it's that much harder to understand what the other person is actually talking about. We really have to learn how to focus our attention on the other person rather than ourselves.

Harry Reis: Sure. The speaker-listener technique is a very straightforward way of trying to both enforce the idea of needing to listen, but also to create the sense of being listened to. So in the speaker-listener technique, there will be a box on the table with two red lights, one in front of each partner. And the way the process works is only the partner who has the light is allowed to speak. So the light's on, you're allowed to speak and you can say whatever your concerns or issues are. Then the light switches and the partner's job is to repeat what you just said as they heard it. Then the first person's light comes back on and that person then has to comment on whether you got it right or how you got it wrong. And then the other person's light comes back on and they have to amend what they said to reflect the feedback that you just gave them.

"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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#80

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#81

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

Bravo!!!!!!! :clap:
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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#82

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

https://www.treehugger.com/50-hours-nat ... oy-7500244
50 Hours of Nature Sounds to Bring You Calm and Joy
BBC Earth created five 10-hour "visual soundscape" videos after researchers found that nature footage boosts bliss.


With a growing body of research linking nature and happiness, it's becoming increasingly evident that a dearth of trees and fresh air does not do a mind and body good. Alas, not everyone has a forest in their backyard for a daily dose of Mother Nature. While even a local park or a bird-filled urban tree can help, is it possible that just watching nature on a screen could have similar positive outcomes?

According to a 2017 study from BBC Earth and the University of California, Berkeley, the answer is yes. Now, of course, BBC Earth is in the business of bringing the natural world to the screen, but nonetheless, the research revealed that watching nature documentaries not only "inspired significant increases in feelings of awe, contentedness, joy, amusement and curiosity, but that it also acted to reduce feelings of tiredness, anger and stress."

While it may be hard to imagine that seeing mountains on television could have the same effect as seeing mountains right in front of you, maybe there's something to it. Regardless, it was the impetus behind BBC Earth's Real Happiness Project, a mission to "bring real happiness to as many people as possible by improving their connection to the natural world."

One of the initiatives in the project was the creation of "visual soundscapes," which are comprised of soothing footage from Planet Earth II outtakes. Think of them as long meditative journeys through specific landscapes. And while they don't really demand attention in the watching-a-documentary sense, they provide another way to have some nature in your day. I don't know about you, but I can tell you right now that 10 hours of relaxing jungle sounds is a whole lot better than 10 hours of new-condo-being-built-across-the-street-from-my-apartment sounds.

Bottom line: If you can't soar across the mountains in person, an armchair adventure might be your next best bet. Given the extraordinary power of nature, it's surely worth a shot.
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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#83

Post by raison de arizona »

Hidden Content
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Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
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#84

Post by Phoenix520 »

I’m still trying to get someone to listen to Ren with me. Since you’re up…




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#85

Post by raison de arizona »

Phoenix520 wrote: Fri May 26, 2023 2:29 am I’m still trying to get someone to listen to Ren with me. Since you’re up…

https://youtu.be/YonS9_QJbp8


https://youtu.be/OjElKx6q2Wc
Oh wow, he's fabulous! I had to immediately look up part 1, it's a bit more reservoir dog / darker. But also great. I'm definitely going to be digging through this catalog tonight. I'm listening to the Busking videos now, they're great live corner standing stuff!
“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
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#86

Post by Phoenix520 »

Take 10 minutes to listen to hi Ren.

Also his bardcore trio. Listen in order: Jenny’s tale, screech’s tale, violets tale.

Isn’t he a wonder? So glad you like!!💙
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#87

Post by raison de arizona »

Phoenix520 wrote: Fri May 26, 2023 3:00 am Take 10 minutes to listen to hi Ren.

Also his bardcore trio. Listen in order: Jenny’s tale, screech’s tale, violets tale.

Isn’t he a wonder? So glad you like!!💙
All excellent! I'm going to pass Hi Ren on as well, quite a journey is that one.

Thanks! :thumbsup:
“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
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#88

Post by Phoenix520 »

:bighug:
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#89

Post by keith »

I had planned to sit down and watch "Easy Rider" for the umpteenth time this afternoon. SWMBO nixed that idea when she got control of the TV first. So I just went upstairs to the office and listened to the soundtrack.

Has everybody heard about the bird?
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#90

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

Grab a beer (craft beer, IPA, ale, or soda). Have a seat. Be thankful you were not pressed into the British Navy.

https://thisiscriminal.com/episode-220- ... 5-26-2023/
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#91

Post by Foggy »

I don't have time, but dig it:

The other day I was making mock of the fact that the UK, where the English language was developed, is not in the top five of English-speaking countries. And I think there are a lot of people in the UK who don't speak English, like for instance in Wales. :?

But the English language is the top language in the world in terms of the number of people who speak it. English is the language of international aviation. English is the most important language in the world, without any doubt.

And it was spread by those poor shlubs in the British Navy. They suffered. They were miserable. They died like flies. But they settled in places all across the planet, and they stuck where they landed, and they spread the English language wherever they went.

So I have a lot of respect and admiration for the British Navy (and Army). :oldman:
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#92

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

https://thisiscriminal.com/episode-221- ... e-6-2-2023
Lavender Scare

Helen James grew up in a military family — her great-great-grandfather fought in the Civil War, her father in WWI, and her uncles in WWII. So when she enlisted in 1952, she felt like she belonged. Shortly after, she realized she was being watched.

Today we talk to one of the members of the U.S. Air Force impacted by a campaign to remove LGBTQI+ employees of the U.S. government in the 1950s.
30 minute episode.
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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#93

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

https://www.openculture.com/2023/06/wha ... -like.html
What Did Music in Ancient Rome Sound Like?

Almost all of ancient literature is lost to us, as classical-history Youtuber Garrett Ryan explains in a video previously featured here on Open Culture. But we have even less ancient music, given that form’s essential ephemerality as well as the not-inconsiderable fact that the ancients didn’t have tape recorders. Still, that hasn’t stopped Ryan from describing to us what music would have sounded like in the heyday of the Roman Empire in the video above, for his channel Told in Stone. Not only does he introduce the instruments played by the popular musicians of ancient Rome, he also evokes the atmosphere of ancient Roman concerts, which had their own “equivalent of rock stars, notorious for selling out theaters, sparking riots, and talking back to emperors.”

They did all of this by mastering what look to us like simple tools indeed. The dominant examples of these were the cithara, a kind of lyre amplified by a sound box; the tibia or aulos, whose two pipes could be played at once (thus producing “a fluttering counterpoint that audiences found wildly exciting”); and the hydraulis or water organ, the rare instrument that could be heard even over a loud crowd.
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#94

Post by northland10 »

Tiredretiredlawyer wrote: Fri Jun 23, 2023 10:04 am
and the hydraulis or water organ, the rare instrument that could be heard even over a loud crowd.
:banana:
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#95

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#97

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#98

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

Brava, Lucy!!!!
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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#99

Post by raison de arizona »

“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
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#100

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

:dance:
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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