Fogbow

As I've gotten older, and care less what people think of me, my language has become cruder. Vulgar language doesn't usually offend me (there are exceptions such as racism and misogyny) and I have called out people for using the n-word. All that said, it doesn't mean I expect other people to lighten up. I could probably use a few more filters.

Words I wouldn't have dreamed of using ten years ago now flow freely. I have called many (unreasonable) men dicks and probably a dozen women the c-word, although not to their faces. It's more of an under the breath thing.

I respect acceptable behavior in polite society and have no problem eliminating certain terms in certain situations. I'm not a my-way-or-the-highway sort of person. I have cringed when the f-word flows too freely, although I use it myself frequently, especially when trump was still in office. And the phrase I most frequently used to describe trump loyalists I wouldn't use anywhere other than in convo with Hubs. Also, I really need to stop substituting the word "shit" for...pretty much every other word.

Do we need some guidelines?

Fuck no.

Simple guideline: Watch your fucking language.

Re: Why is calling a guy "a dick" (or equivalent) acceptable when using that C word is not?

The short answer is, no, you don't have to stop calling someone a dick--at this point.

There are books written on this topic. Moreover, language use changes by the minute. So I'm going to skip the long answer.

Here's a useful analogy: It's like a white dude saying to a black dude, "I don't mind being called "whitey" so what's your problem with me calling someone the N word?"

A group of children were trying very hard to become accustomed to Offensive language.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them.

She asked John what he had done over the weekend?
'I went to visit my Nana'.
No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER.
Use 'Big People' words!'

She then asked Mitchell what he had done
'I took a ride on a choo-choo'.
She said. 'No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.
You must remember to use 'Big People' words'.

She then asked little Alex what he had done?
'I read a book' he replied.
That's WONDERFUL!' the teacher said.
'What book did you read?'
Alex thought real hard about it,
then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said


'Winnie the SHIT'.

Foul language tends to inflame, not cure, and best to be avoided.

That said, there may be certain circumstances where expressing rage with words makes sense.

I've more than a few times used the F-U bomb face-to-face.

Certain words paint an emotional picture that no amount of additional words can convey. Most adults who use these words don’t need to try to moderate their language around mixed company; their sense of decorum would no more let them drop an f bomb near a toddler or a church lady in a fabulous hat than it would let them go naked to the grocery store.

Self awareness is key.

pjhimself wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 11:47 am A group of children were trying very hard to become accustomed to Offensive language.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them.

She asked John what he had done over the weekend?
'I went to visit my Nana'.
No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER.
Use 'Big People' words!'

She then asked Mitchell what he had done
'I took a ride on a choo-choo'.
She said. 'No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.
You must remember to use 'Big People' words'.

She then asked little Alex what he had done?
'I read a book' he replied.
That's WONDERFUL!' the teacher said.
'What book did you read?'
Alex thought real hard about it,
then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said


'Winnie the SHIT'.

All I know is that I find the word c* so offensive that I stop reading that post or tweet or article right then. Even if I despise the woman being called that name. It's like a slap in the face (fyi - I'm female).

Could we all just stop using words which denigrate women? I shouldn't have to explain to this group how offensive it is to suggest that a man is a weakling by writing that he's a 'vagina'.

Just stop.

Plus, it's a terrible metaphor.

As far as I can tell, women's genitals aren't weak or fragile, especially compared to the man's.

roadscholar wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 1:10 pm Plus, it's a terrible metaphor.

As far as I can tell, women's genitals aren't weak or fragile, especially compared to the man's.

What? You've never taped a cantaloupe to your Johnson, and walked around for nine months that way? Turn in your man card!!!

bill_g wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 1:39 pm

roadscholar wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 1:10 pm Plus, it's a terrible metaphor.

As far as I can tell, women's genitals aren't weak or fragile, especially compared to the man's.

What? You've never taped a cantaloupe to your Johnson, and walked around for nine months that way? Turn in your man card!!!

Well, I never have -- is it fun?

Unfortunately, "Dick" is a common nickname for Richard.

I've yet to meet a woman named "C___t"

Don't object to rough language at all (other than racial slurs and those kinds of words). But have found that by not using them often, when I do it gets much more attention. Also try to be considerate when not sure who the reader will be, by offending with language the point doesn't get across because the focus becomes the vocabulary.

p0rtia wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 11:42 am Re: Why is calling a guy "a dick" (or equivalent) acceptable when using that C word is not?

The short answer is, no, you don't have to stop calling someone a dick--at this point.

There are books written on this topic. Moreover, language use changes by the minute. So I'm going to skip the long answer.

Here's a useful analogy: It's like a white dude saying to a black dude, "I don't mind being called "whitey" so what's your problem with me calling someone the N word?"

Men call their penises dicks. Almost 0% of women use the c-word for their vulvas. Imo, that difference matters.

To expand on pOrtia's point. Blacks have multiple reasons for their use of the nword. Historically, the nword has always been used by White people to demean and denigrate Black people. Thus, non-Black people have no acceptable reason to use it. The use of the word by White people is intended to harm members of an entire race, to remind Black people that they are lesser human beings.

The word dick doesn't carry such weight or intention. Does calling a man or woman a dick imply that they are lesser human beings? No.

There are times when I use foul language because the word best defines what I'm actually trying to say.

As long as the word isn't harmful or demeaning to a group or individual, I use the word.

Nothing wakes up a classroom like a well placed "fuck". I use the word very sparingly so the impact is significant. Some (but few) faculty use the word in class so frequently that it distracts from what the Prof is saying.

I'm quite soft-spoken. Because I rarely use the f-bomb or other foul language in class, my students typically giggle when I pull out an f-bomb. Which is my intent.

Imo, intent matters.

Whig is, cultural differences are key. It might shock you, but other societies exist where saying that C work is not the worst thing you can imagine, an a crime that deserves death, any more than "Bawbag" would be to you. Or calling a guy a scrotum.

I present as evidence this



Please proceed to 5:17 where you will see that word as just one of Male and Female genitalia and non genitalia based expletives used to describe one particular person. And finally it used by a 6 year old girl.

So ya, get off your high goddam horse ffs and stop acting line C***s. If you see some language that offends you, scroll on by like I do every bloody day on this forum.

When I see or hear the c-word, I ask myself if the person using the word is from Great Britain. The word simply isn't offensive across the pond, thus the role of intention becomes important.

I try not to use language that could be offensive to women. I think the term "bitch" is often inappropriate and overused. I'm uncomfortable with the N-word, in most any context, a view that is shared by older generations of African-Americans. I've been present in discussions where they explain this to their children.

I have one set of clients where I report to Dick and Willy. They are real nice guys and those are their preferred names. But I always pause for a moment when I reply to them via email.

busterbunker wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 4:17 pm I have one set of clients where I report to Dick and Willy.

Suranis makes a point re the “C” word... it flows like water from many Brit’s and Aussie’s mouths. It is decidedly coarse when one hasn’t been around it much but I will also point out that within that cohort it is very often not referring to a woman. The latest Prime superhero series “The Boys” had a British character that used it quite often and it brought back memories from long ago of being shocked at such profanity...

Culturally, words or hand-signs vary in their inappropriateness. This one(the "ok" sign), is extremely offensive to people from Brazil:



Enough so that I removed that from my body language (since I'm around a lot of Brazilians).

I'm still waiting for Foggy to find an Aloha smilie because I don't like the thumbs-up one because of you-know-who. That's how I greet people today.

neonzx wrote: ↑Thu May 06, 2021 6:13 pm Culturally, words or hand-signs vary in their inappropriateness. This one (the "ok" sign), is extremely offensive to people from Brazil:

Enough so that I removed that from my body language (since I'm around a lot of Brazilians).

A grad school colleague of mine who did field research in Brazil discovered that when the chef at a local eatery asked her how her food was. She, of course, had no idea and flashed him that gesture with a wink. She immediately discovered that that was not the hand gesture to use in Brazil.

ETA: I think she told me that she was unaware anyone could turn that shade of red. She was a Brit from Blackpool.

The word dick isn't demeaning because we've been a patriarchal society so long that being called a dick like saying you're a member of the superior gender. And you need to be able to talk about Dick Cheney, Moby Dick, spotted dick, and dick taters on occasion.

It's funny, men have almost more different nicknames for their penises as they do for women's breasts, but none of them are used as insults. Can you imagine calling someone a johnson or a package?

But words to describe lady parts are viewed as demeaning here in the US. Calling a man a pussy is fightin' words. The C-word and the T-word are verboten here, because of that. But the Gropinator was governor of California, and he reportedly called people "girly men". People say obese men have "man boobs" or just "moobs" for short.

Any language that implies men are like women is viewed as demeaning, which is not true when implying that women are like men. Bull dyke is only applied to certain lesbians, and it's not that demeaning, IMHO. Tomboy is only applied to young girls, and isn't really demeaning.

But here on Fogbow, I try to censor as little as possible. As I wrote elsewhere, I used to censor the words fag and faggot, because I thought they were demeaning, but I was convinced otherwise by a gay member, so I took those off the list.

Beyond that, I trust that the people here are good people who are adults and are capable of using good judgment in the use of language. Y'all understand, even though I haven't rewritten the rules, that it's not OK to insult your fellow members of the forum and that you shouldn't imply that believing in any particular religion is somehow wrong. We've been operating without formal rules since the creation of the new Fogbow, and there haven't been any serious problems.

Carry on.