Weird Headlines

[Sam the Centipede]

Not a headline, but a great weird correction.

So whose underwear did he skydive in?

[Jim]

IDK that it's a good idea to tell a message board you're full of sh*t.

Apparently you don't know that I have several horses, who produce manure on a regular basis. There's a reason why I have an avatar of a lovely Arabian mare.

I figured you had horses, dog kennel, or multiple farm animals. I'd have really been wondering about you if not. LOL

[RTH10260]

Not a headline, but a great weird correction.

So whose underwear did he skydive in?

in whose bedroom was he caught that he had no time to dress but a parachute?

[Volkonski]

Having visited The Netherlands several times and toured Dutch dairies I have some appreciation of how much the Dutch love their cheese.

[RTH10260]

supply chain diverted....

Fuel 'worth more than £250,000' stolen from high-security Royal Navy base
The diesel was siphoned from a tanker in a heist that reportedly "ran for weeks," with most of it having been "flogged on the black market".

Thursday 7 April 2022 12:38, UK

The fuel would have filled up electricity generators hat powering the HMS Bulwark,

An investigation is under way after diesel reported to be worth more than £250,000 was stolen from a high-security Royal Navy base.

The fuel was siphoned from a tanker and was due to fill up electricity generators powering the HMS Bulwark, a 19,560-tonne assault ship, at HMNB Devonport in Plymouth.

Thieves accessed the base and stole the diesel, which belonged to contractor Babcock International, in September 2021.

The fuel was worth more than £250,000, according to The Sun.

The newspaper added that "the heist ran for weeks" and "most of the diesel has been flogged on the black market" as UK motorists deal with record-breaking rises in fuel prices.



https://news.sky.com/story/fuel-worth-m ... e-12584280

that's approx $325’000 !

No Nigerian prince required for retirment

[Suranis]

sub.jpg (133.84 KiB) Viewed 1536 times

Those sneaky bastards.

[Phoenix520]

I have plenty, and am willing to share with my neighbours.

Do you ship?

[keith]

Hey! Maybe they just found Jimmy Hoffa!

Construction Crew Finds Mummified Body In Former Convention Center's Walls

[roadscholar]

Protester Tries To Glue Herself To Court During Clippers-Timberwolves Game

Animal activist Alicia Santurio, trending as #GlueGirl, laughed about her stunt afterward, even though she had a serious motive.

A woman protesting the mass killing of chickens tried to glue herself to a basketball court Tuesday...

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/gluegirl ... d2bd5c5904

[Volkonski]

Cooking oil spillage causes chaos on M25

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-lon ... ampaign=64

The Metropolitan Police said officers were called to reports of a lorry crash on the motorway in Enfield, north London, at 11:15 BST on Tuesday.

National Highways warned part of the road was still closed at 08:00 Wednesday.

No-one was injured in the incident, but miles of stationary traffic have been captured on camera by commuters.

The Met warned motorists to avoid the area.

[northland10]

Doing drugs and transporting cows are not 2 great tastes that taste great together.

https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/c ... i/2811350/

Cattle Truck Driver in I-80 Crash That Spilled Cows Onto Road Charged With DUI

A truck driver who crashed on Interstate 80 Tuesday, letting more than a dozen cattle he was hauling loose on the expressway near Joliet, was found to be under the influence of drugs while driving, police said.

The driver went off the road near Houbolt Road and crashed into a disabled semitrailer on the shoulder around 3:40 p.m., Illinois State Police said.

He veered back onto the expressway, struck another car and then crashed into the median wall.

During the crash, the truck driver’s trailer was ripped open. 16 of the 33 cattle he was hauling were thrown onto the expressway, state police said.

State troopers had to put down two of the cattle due to their injuries. Nearby farmers on horseback helped gather the remaining cattle, which were hauled to a storage facility.

There is video of cattle wandering around the interstate.

[roadscholar]

“And if ya give me:
Weed, Whites and Wine,
And you show me a sign,
I’ll be willin’
To be movin’…. ——Lowell George

That’s right. A song celebrating (or lampooning, not sure which) the great American Trucker hitting the road with a head full of marijuana, amphetamine and alcohol.

So… yeah.

[Estiveo]

"What in the world ever became of sweet Jane?
She lost her sparkle, you know she isn't the same
Livin' on reds, vitamin C, and cocaine
All a friend can say is, "Ain't it a shame?""

—Grateful Dead, Truckin'

[humblescribe]

I'm pretty sure that Illinois ain't an open range state, either.

[northland10]

I'm pretty sure that Illinois ain't an open range state, either.

Somebody forgot to tell Tyson the Bison that. She's still roaming around up here.

https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/ty ... onths-ago/

Tyson the bison spotted near Lake Zurich after going missing over 6 months ago
CHICAGO (CBS)-- A bison on the run since September was spotted again near Lake Zurich over the weekend.

Authorities still have not caught her.

Lake County deputies saw Tyson the Bison near homes in the area of Rand Road and Old McHenry. They called animal control, but Tyson got away before they arrived.

[Volkonski]

Argument over underwear leads to stabbing

https://www.texomashomepage.com/news/lo ... m=referral

[Gregg]

A woman.

A woman did that.

I don't think any male rock 'n' roller has ever peed on anyone's face on stage during a performance. Never. In the history of rock 'n' roll. Ever.

But now a woman did it.


That's progress, yesno? That's society moving forward.


Do you know how many rock concerts I went to over the years? No, of course you don't. Nobody does. I don't know. 'Course, it hasn't affected my hearing. What? What did you say?


Anyway, even at outdoor events people knew where to pee. Jeez.

Edit: In ten years we'll all be, like, "Oh yeah, I remember back before every rock band's singer started peeing on everybody ..."

A little late to the party on this, but...

Matt Gaetz paid two Russian Hookers $1000 to do that, it's the MAGA Eucharist.

[Suranis]

Picnics banned in Rome in effort to combat wild boar incursions

https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2022/ ... incursions

[W. Kevin Vicklund]

How's that assault rifle ban going now, Italy? Can't take down 30-50 feral hogs, huh?

[Gregg]

How's that assault rifle ban going now, Italy? Can't take down 30-50 feral hogs, huh?

Not without reloading. Other than that it's still a lot like Texas.

[RTH10260]

How's that assault rifle ban going now, Italy? Can't take down 30-50 feral hogs, huh?

if they only would contract that out to the Ndrangheta

[Suranis]

https://krcgtv.com/news/nation-world/ca ... l-tremblay

Catholic school apologizes after selling mothers day roses containing thong underwear

Well, what kind of underwear do Roses usually wear???

[roadscholar]

‘Having sex with women is gay’: White nationalist praises involuntary celibacy


https://www.rawstory.com/nick-fuentes-gay/


OK, I have no clue how this guy's mind works. At all. None.

The headline is a bit off. What he actually said was that dating women is gay. Apparently the only real heterosexual stance is to not have sex at all. Unless women just give you sex without you doing anything whatsoever to deserve it. Like dating, or marriage. Or just being clean, kind and friendly. Or interesting, or moderately attractive. Nada.

[Suranis]

‘Having sex with women is gay’: White nationalist praises involuntary celibacy


https://www.rawstory.com/nick-fuentes-gay/


OK, I have no clue how this guy's mind works. At all. None.

The headline is a bit off. What he actually said was that dating women is gay. Apparently the only real heterosexual stance is to not have sex at all. Unless women just give you sex without you doing anything whatsoever to deserve it. Like dating, or marriage. Or just being clean, kind and friendly. Or interesting, or moderately attractive. Nada.

Its probably using "gay" in the new modern slang meaning, where its signifying that something is stupid and a bit pathetic.

The slang use of "gay" has been changing in the last decade and a half or so, moving away from the Homosexual meaning. Ironically this is becasue the Homosexual side of things isn't seen as terrible as before, so slang moved on. This has been upsetting some quarters as they accuse everyone of stealing "their" word.

I recon this will come up more and more and will confuse those who don't want to admit what's happening to language.

[roadscholar]

That's undoubtedly a very common usage, and sketchy at best, but this guy repeatedly juxtaposes "gay" with "heterosexual" explicitly. Maybe it's some of both.

He strikes me as the type who is fine with the concept of rape, and would always blame the victim. He may even admire rapists.

The guy's flakier than a French pastry.