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Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

These people are weird, but we like to find out what weird people are doing and thinking. It's a hobby.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#101

Post by TheNewSaint »

I don't know
johnpcapitalist wrote: Mon Jan 24, 2022 2:06 pm I read pretend judge Anna's drivel so you don't have to.
:notworthy1: I don't how you do it, man. Judge Anna is so incoherent I can't even follow her most of the time. She's a textbook case of "not even wrong."
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#102

Post by Foggy »

Yeah, but that lady can cobble together a sentence in the English language very well. I do need John P. to remind me she exists, a phenomenon that I still have trouble understanding. But I enjoy reading her stuff, honest.

I read and gape in astonishment, alternating between "Whoa, this lady is :rolleye:" and "Y'know, she has command of English grammar, even if she has no command of reality or facts."
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#103

Post by TheNewSaint »

Foggy wrote: Tue Jan 25, 2022 12:12 pm Yeah, but that lady can cobble together a sentence in the English language very well. I read and gape in astonishment, alternating between "Whoa, this lady is :rolleye:" and "Y'know, she has command of English grammar, even if she has no command of reality or facts."
Anna's problem is with her own terminology. She'll harangue you for hours about what "states of states" are, and then never use that term the same way twice. To make it worse, she does this with words that already have accepted meanings, like "confederate states." Then 7,500 words later you find out New York is a "confederate state" because the Articles of Confederation are still in effect. :roll:

You can't follow her logic because every word she uses is subject to change. Imagine trying to do math where 7 can represent any random value, or it could be a type of cheese.

I wonder how many of Anna's wayward Jural Assemblies were genuinely trying to do what she wanted, but just couldn't understand what the hell that was exactly.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#104

Post by Gregg »

If William F. Buckley was a big acid user.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#105

Post by johnpcapitalist »

TheNewSaint wrote: Tue Jan 25, 2022 2:24 pm
Foggy wrote: Tue Jan 25, 2022 12:12 pm Yeah, but that lady can cobble together a sentence in the English language very well. I read and gape in astonishment, alternating between "Whoa, this lady is :rolleye:" and "Y'know, she has command of English grammar, even if she has no command of reality or facts."
I wonder how many of Anna's wayward Jural Assemblies were genuinely trying to do what she wanted, but just couldn't understand what the hell that was exactly.
Foggy's right: the fact that she's actually able to put together a coherent argument makes it a lot easier to wade through her stuff than it is to parse most of the illiterate drivel coming from the poot world. Of course, she's writing literary prose about nonsensical ideas, like the idea that there is land, soil and air jurisdiction, or that her husband is the hereditary head of state of the USA.

From my perspective, the issue is that 95% of her stuff is rehashing stuff she's said before. So the crunchy goodness is buried deep within a lot of repetition, and you have to skim it fairly carefully to avoid missing the best parts, like the part in an article about Gavin Newsom and the vaccination where she veers into talking about being a pretend judge for the first time in a while. That's why I read this stuff only occasionally, when I'm a little bored.

Yes, some of the issues with her pretend state government groups could be confusion as they try to cope with the myriad detailed procedures she has created. Try reading the checklist for how to "declare your political affiliation" as an "American state national" and your head will spin.

But most of it is with pretend state coordinators who pretend wrong. It sure sounds like pretend judge Anna will jump on people pretty quickly to get them to pretend correctly, so it doesn't sound like she swoops in and metaphorically summarily executes people. I think she understands that if you get rid of your playmates the first time they pretend wrong, then you soon won't have any playmates left. The poot movement is composed of people who are incapable of following rules that inconvenience their direct path to getting what they want, but pretend judge Anna is an absolute stickler for doing things properly (i.e., her way).

It also appears that a not-insignificant number of pretend state coordinators are trying to get their hands on the stream of cash that pretend judge Anna is charging, with excessive fees or fundraising that she doesn't know about (or get a cut in). I don't think pretend judge Anna is raking in huge amounts of dough, because I suspect she subsists mostly on Social Security, but I think even a couple thousand dollars a month will make a difference for her. So even pocketing a couple hundred that she has her sights on is a big deal for her.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#106

Post by Gregg »

I sit here and let my mind boggle at the thought of these "the government doesn't exist and is fake" crowd collecting Social Security from the pretend USA.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#107

Post by northland10 »

Gregg wrote: Tue Jan 25, 2022 4:48 pm I sit here and let my mind boggle at the thought of these "the government doesn't exist and is fake" crowd collecting Social Security from the pretend USA.
If the US government does not exist up in her world, I suppose that can mean Putin can just end his troops there since she no longer needs the protection of the US.

Maybe this will keep him satisfied and he will leave the Ukraine alone.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#108

Post by johnpcapitalist »

I read pretend judge Anna's drivel so you don't have to. I haven't posted anything in a while, and she's been more productive than usual (in the sense of "a productive cough," which spews abundant snot around the room).

First, http://www.paulstramer.net/2022/01/a-ti ... acles.html
A Time of Miracles

All the scars on my body are disappearing. Several terrible marks are already gone, as if they never were. When I think of them or visualize what they used to look or feel like, it is as if these were someone else’s scars.

I cannot explain this, except in terms of physics and quantum entanglement theory.

Even the very worst scars are vanishing day by day until they are perhaps a twentieth of their former size and form; thick, sinuous ugly scars reduced to fading pencil-thin lines.

Now, I am no stranger to miracles. My broken hunched back was restored by a miracle, and I have been told since then that I have the back of a thirty year-old.

But that was a particular event caused by a particular Healer coming into my life and addressing the pain. This is something different. This is happening spontaneously.
I don't know whether to laugh or to feel sorry for a woman whose delusions might be getting a lot worse.

Then there's an unhinged covid vaccine screed:
What Is Now Known About Batches
http://www.paulstramer.net/2022/02/what ... tches.html

So, depending on which batch of vaccine the victims received, they could die outright within a short period of time, develop myocarditis, cancer, AIDS, Blood Coagulation Factor Disease (causes heart attacks, strokes, and COPD) , chronic inflammatory diseases, or neurological diseases.
I should say "we don't need no stinkin' batches," but I'll refrain from the obvious.

This devolves into a screed about the mother of all conspiracy theories, not just involving Fauci but every other target of paranoid conspiracy theories out there. And she also condemns Trump, as she acknowledges his role in funding creation of a vaccine, which is unusual for her.

And then we move on to another subject she drags out once in a while in conjunction with her pretend banking system, which never seems to actually get a web site and open to serve people, probably because the feds would come down on her pretty hard for money laundering.

She claims that her pretend law firm has magically found 197 million ounces of gold that rightfully belongs to the American people (about $375 billion worth, at current prices) and is buily divvying it up and returning it to those who allegedly lost it. http://www.paulstramer.net/2022/02/we-w ... board.html

But all of this nonsense is punctuated with occasional moments of sanity. Here, she attacks the Texas Republic separatists, that sad little band of pretend government geezers that meets monthly in Denny's around Texas, with a governmental org chart that is always 2/3 empty. She tells them that they're pretending wrong and that they should join her pretend government organization because Texas actually is part of the US, not a separate country like the Texas republic LARPers believe. Bet that'll go over well. http://www.paulstramer.net/2022/02/mess ... xians.html

Pretend judge Anna also accuses one John Curren Chapman III of pretending wrong. He's apparently a fan of a "Unam Sanctum Trust," which allegedly was created by Pope Boniface in 1302 AD, and the small numbers of fans of this thing believe it has all sorts of money. But pretend judge Anna sets him straight in a big hurry. As they say, "a broken clock is right twice a day." http://www.paulstramer.net/2022/02/fina ... n-iii.html
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#109

Post by Lansdowne »

Annoyingly it is only March 1st not April 1st which would be the best day to compose an essay in the style of Anna Maria.

Probably something in which she decrees that as Fiduciary of the United States of America (unincorporated), she has sent a letter to her counterpart in the Kremlin, Vladimir Vladimirovich, Fiduciary of the Empire of All the Russias, notifying him that all presumed 'actions' of 'The' United States as well as all U.S. actions, taken since 1871 are null and void and therefore if he wishes to resume control of the Russian territory in North America known as the 'State' of Alaska, negotiations in good faith will be undertaken and she would propose he should send his plenipotentiary to join her Assembly at her winter palace at Big Lake or should that be Большое Озеро.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#110

Post by Gregg »

That last one is dangerously close to Treason.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#111

Post by scirreeve »

Thanks JPC - I stopped reading Anna's crap a while ago. I posted this on the old Bow but worth remembering when Anna spent $150 to change her name.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#112

Post by johnpcapitalist »

I read pretend judge Anna's drivel so you don't have to.

This one is really over the top in a way that really makes me angry. Normally, her anti-Semitic slant is somewhat veiled. She, like many other extreme right nutjobs, often uses code words like the "Khazarian mafia" that are not universally known. But this one really doesn't attempt to put a fig leaf of respectability on her ranting.

http://www.paulstramer.net/2022/02/dirt ... erals.html
Dirty Bombs, Dirty Generals
Right now, we know for a fact that there is at least one “dirty” M Class Nuclear Device (or, as Inspector Clusoe would say, “a bimb” moving restlessly back and forth in the vicinity of New York City.

That thing is wandering around like a migrating opossum, traveling irresolutely around the Eastern Seaboard in some kind of truck. Northern New Jersey, down to Baltimore, back up the pike to Jersey, over to the Finger Lakes, back to NYC, down the coast toward DC, no, no, back to Baltimore, I am getting dizzy.

Now, if a Great-Grandma using over the counter radiation grid software can detect this thing from as far away as Big Lake, Alaska, don’t you think that NORAD or the Space Force or some mental giant at one of National Laboratories would also have a lock on this?
I've seen the radiation detectors and poison gas detectors at Grand Central. I walked by them every day for years, and they used to have air sniffers on the streets of Manhattan. I am sure there is plenty of other stuff they are doing to watch for a dirty bomb. So this is pretty bizarre.

Of course, pretend judge Anna says this is all a false flag operation to depopulate the earth and make everything more expensive.

But who could be doing such a nefarious thing? Well, pretend judge Anna has figured it all out.
I would normally be snorting and keeping a jaundiced eye on it, but just over the last few days something else odd has been happening: the Jews are suddenly leaving NYC and caravan-style moving out to their summer digs in the Catskills and even farther north.

These are New York Jews going out to what (for them) is the wilderness in the winter. Roughing it. I am 65 and I have never seen or imagined such a thing because it’s unthinkable.

These are not just Jews. These are New York Jews. Creatures of habit, comfort loving, devoted to their work and family routines, not wanting to be Grizzly Adams.

Their idea of a winter destination is Miami.

Never happened during the worst riots. Didn’t happen in response to 911. Didn’t happen in 2008….

What do they know all of a sudden that nobody else knows? It’s a question worth asking.

I made some discreet inquiries and the answers were odd and unconvincing— oh, it’s the whole Covid thing getting to be too much, it’s the collapsing supply chain— better chance of getting food in the country, now with the war in the Ukraine getting started….

But it’s unconvincing because there is nothing so urgent to explain the sight of a steady stream of Hasidim pouring out of the city this past week. Chabad, JDL, Orthodox and Reformed—-it’s an Exodus.

They are coming out of the city with white faces, clutching their Torah scrolls and candlesticks, down comforters and oil lamps and food—- lots and lots of food. And they are leaving in caravans.
This is truly atrocious stuff, coming from a woman who's clearly anti-Semitic but has always tried to maintain some semblance of deniability. Pretend judge Anna has always seemed like a harmless kook who has managed to amass several thousand followers who at worst were the inept SovCit types that say bizarre things in court. But this comes a lot closer to the stochastic terrorism that Trump did in office with his Twitter account.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#113

Post by Sam the Centipede »

johnpcapitalist wrote: Thu Mar 03, 2022 8:46 pm I read pretend judge Anna's drivel so you don't have to.
… and this extract certainly does not make me wish to read it myself! Thank you, JohnP.

Wow! That is weapons grade antisemitism from Sturmbannführer von Reitz!

It's not just casual hunting for a token bogeyman, this is full-on racist nastiness, Anna von Scheisse diving into a cesspit and drinking the contents.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#114

Post by neeneko »

Now that does make a lick of sense.. why would new york jews flee the city in anticipation of detonating a bimb when they have space lasers?
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#115

Post by TheNewSaint »

I'm guessing cognitive decline is in play.

How old is Anna Von Strudel de la Pop Tart Gambolputty de von Ausfern Dingle Dangle Dongle Applebanger Horowitz von Hautkopft of Ulm anyway?
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#116

Post by Gregg »

TheNewSaint wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2022 5:58 pm I'm guessing cognitive decline is in play.

How old is Anna Von Strudel de la Pop Tart Gambolputty de von Ausfern Dingle Dangle Dongle Applebanger Horowitz von Hautkopft of Ulm anyway?
She's 65, so this is some early onset dementia. She has the fried brain of an 80 year old who took all the brown acid at Woodstock.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#117

Post by woodworker »

Gregg wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2022 6:34 pm
TheNewSaint wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2022 5:58 pm I'm guessing cognitive decline is in play.

How old is Anna Von Strudel de la Pop Tart Gambolputty de von Ausfern Dingle Dangle Dongle Applebanger Horowitz von Hautkopft of Ulm anyway?
She's 65, so this is some early onset dementia. She has the fried brain of an 80 year old who took all the brown acid at Woodstock.
She couldn't have taken all the brown acid.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#118

Post by Luke »

Van Balion has a video up with a couple (and their child, whom they call their "property") who are followers of... Pop Tart!

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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#119

Post by johnpcapitalist »

I read pretend judge Anna's drivel so you don't have to.

Some of you may think that pretend judge Anna is a regular woman with odd political notions. But wait, there's more to pretend judge Anna than pretend legal firms, pretend banks, and pretend government organizations that always seem to be on the edge of collapse with people in those groups who dare to pretend wrong. But this one ought to convince you that she is batshit crazy.

This appears to be a denunciation of one John Curren Chapman III, who doesn't seem to have enough of a web presence that I could locate in a few minutes' search to get any real background on. But he has apparently been granting himself fancy titles in other pretend organizations. And of course that's the ultimate mortal sin in pretend judge Anna's world.

http://www.paulstramer.net/2022/02/noti ... on-of.html
Notice to all Galactic Federation of Planets Forces, Agents and Council Members 2.0

You are receiving false information and misdirection from an individual person presenting himself as John Curren Chapman III, pretending to be "God of the Sol Solar System and Planet Terra". He is a Liar and styles himself as "The Devil".

Our Lawful Due Process on this planet has determined that neither "The Devil" nor his Off-Spring have any standing or claim to anything here on Terra, also known as the Earth. They immigrated here from Mars, known as Gaia, where they similarly acted as violent parasites and destroyed their home planet.

We took them in as refugees, fed them, cared for them, gave them homes ---- and instead of repaying our kindness with kindness, they set to work to undermine our lawful government and to pillage our planet.

You see the results.

These Martians are not native to our planet and have no right to claim one blade of grass here. Their home planet, Mars, also known is Gaia, could be restored and brought to life again with sufficient investment of time, materials, and scientific expertise, but it is an open question whether these individuals would be competent to re-colonize it, or would continue their path of destruction and piracy and parasitism. [Note this could be a nice cautionary tale about global warming but I am sure pretend judge Anna thinks that's just a hoax.]

I am one of those faithful Seraphs set here to monitor events and assist in extremis to prevent destruction of the biosphere. I am a Senior Field Commander and have been on post for over 60,000 Earth years, so I have first-hand knowledge of these events and am prepared to testify.

Mr. Chapman has attempted to pull another scam and thinks that disparaging the name I was given in this lifetime, Anna Maria Wilhelmina Hanna Sophia Riezinger - von Reitzenstein von Lettow-Vorbeck, will help him continue with his fraud. He claims I am a dishonored "human" and that he is representative of the Family of Mann.

The Galactic Federation and Federation of Planets and the Precessional Council and everyone else addressed knows what a Seraph is and my nature is obvious to anyone who cares to look. The fact that Mr. Chapman cannot perceive me as I am indicates his low level of functionality and demonstrates the unreliability of his perceptions.

I am here to testify that Mr. Chapman is of Martian descent and that he and his helpers are deliberately obscuring the actual history and bloodlines of what we call The Family of Mann, which is indigenous to this planet.

The Family of Man was developed using five primary autonomous brain stem genetic heritages, four reptilian and one amphibian. These account also for the major blood types found in the natural genome of Mankind on this planet.

As a result people may exhibit aspects of their heritage in this respect, especially as regards their ability to process, access, and express elements of the subconscious.

The turtle-based members of the family tend to live long and are wise and kind, but tend not to reproduce in great numbers. The fish are pleasant-tempered, curious, inventive, and sociable, but tend to be irresponsible and short-lived. The lizards may be sociable or reclusive, are calculating, intelligent, and gifted in their ability to manipulate materials. The snakes are clever, but not wise, given to prevarication and imagination and superstition of all kinds; at their best, they are highly creative, but at their worst, they are liars and criminals. The amphibians are gentle, versatile, trusting, open-minded, and have a gift for empathy and healing others.

The Martians come from a different heritage entirely and while they are attempting to represent The Family of Mann, it is directly observable that they present humanoid characteristics and genetics that are foreign to this planet. They represent on average, less than four percent of the population here. Their own Martian royalty which has nothing to do with any sovereignty here, amounts to about 4,000 souls.

They have attempted to misrepresent this circumstance as evidence that they are special and part of a ruling class, when in fact, they are refugees. By my observation, they tend to be habitual liars, lack any natural sense of right or wrong, and are fond of violence.

It is my recommendation that the Galactic Federation and various Councils intervene to stop their latest scheme, which is to initiate yet another war, to enrich themselves and create a smokescreen to cover their other criminal activities, which include illegal and immoral biowarfare, and financial crimes related to the system of idolatry they brought to this planet.

This war would be a reckless and unacceptable risk to the biosphere and would involve what they call "limited nuclear war" which would further deteriorate the atmosphere and lead to increased climate instability and damage to the Earth's magnetosphere, to say nothing of the damage to plant and animal life, and the lives and the homes and businesses of millions of peaceful Earthlings.

We have asked for the Martians and other violent and destructive and unauthorized foreign lifeforms to be removed and resettled elsewhere. This request is in accord with Universal Law. The genuine families of Mann deserve to have peace and a chance to evolve in their own way and in their own good time without interference from criminals.

As we are now in Precessional Transition, we wish for this removal to take place now, which is also in accord with Universal Law.

A group of pirates styling themselves as the Saturnine Brotherhood has been working with the Martians, having evaded removal ever since the Age of Scorpio. Other Transitional Councils have left this scourge on Earth and have not exercised Due Diligence with regard to their purification duties.

I know this for sure because I have been here and I am sick of dealing with it. If these lawful requests are not honored immediately, I will take this directly to the Creator for settlement.
There's just so many levels of craziness that I won't even try to snark in response to this. Here, pretend judge Anna's words should just speak for themselves.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#120

Post by Foggy »

Hoo boy.

Fun reading, though! :biggrin:
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#121

Post by Gregg »

Aliens.

No matter what, give Sovcits and their ilk long enough time and it always, ALWAYS come back to aliens.

They start off with parking tickets being illegal, then they move on to right to travel, a odd custody dispute, then Ohio wasn't a State with the Income Tax was enacted so that's not real and besides its all a corporation restricted to 10 square miles they have tons of cases where SCOTUS said something and oh yeah. OH YEAH> WELL! ALIENS!

And Admiral Senata is gonna get you, let me take your name down for my report...

PROVE
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#122

Post by Foggy »

Aliens are people too, my friends. :bighug:
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#123

Post by Sam the Centipede »

Thx JohnP!

Oh my!
von Strudel wrote: I know this for sure because I have been here and I am sick of dealing with it. If these lawful requests are not honored immediately, I will take this directly to the Creator for settlement.
:o Shorely there cannot be anyone with higher pretend status than Anna, the Supreme Pop Tart?!?! So who is this Creator :pray: who is more pretend powerful than the pretend mighty Anna? Is it in fact Cindy K. Curtain-Hook? :shrug:
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#124

Post by northland10 »

As we are now in Precessional Transition.
On Sunday's we have a processional, and formerly had a recessional (we stopped calling it that because we don't like recessions), so maybe I should rename the organ prelude to Precessional.

This would make the Precessional Transition that awkward time of silence between the Precessional (formerly Prelude) and Processional (the entrance of clergy, choir, and latecomers) where I reset the organ for the processional or opening hymn (we must have multiple terms for a single act to create confusion), toss music all over the floor and pedalboard while switching from organ solo to the hymnal (which of course lost the market for the correct page), and then nod to the clergy in the back to ring the bell because we are a Pavlovian Congregation where ringing a bell makes them automatically stand up. (Run-on sentence provided due to Scriptural mandate as demonstrated by St. Paul).

Now, if our transitional moment is extended because the altar party is futzing around in the Narthex, I move into the Precessional Tranisitional Transition, also called improvisation, also called 'vamp with it', also called 'making shit up as I go along'. This is best performed (or as auto-correct calls it, "blessed performed") with bad language said under the breath.
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Re: Anna von Strudel de la Pop Tart AKA von Reitz

#125

Post by Foggy »

Oh man, I'm gonna start Episcopalians for Freedom, too many rules!! :oldman:
Edit: Oh wait, I'd have to go back to being an Episcopalian, wouldn't I? :blackeye:
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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