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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

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Foggy
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#1

Post by Foggy »

Gotta tell y'all about my buddy Eric, who uses the Contact Us page on our business website.

A lot.

Like, a hundred plus emails a year, but since he uses the Contact Us page, it comes from MY business email address, which real people use to contact us, so I can't exactly mark it as spam. And you have to put an email address in the contact form, but he uses fakes. And a fake phone number. The only way to respond is to go to his website and fill out his contact form, which I am not about to do.

And there are lots of things I could do to stop him, but here's the thing - he is the nicest spammer in the history of this planet, and his emails are so nice! They follow a very strict pattern:
Hi, my name is Eric ...
See how polite? He always introduces himself first.
... and I just found your website My_Business_Is_Hating_Eric.com ...
Here's where it's just a little tiny bit hinky. How can this dude "just find" my website 300 times in a row? Wouldn't you think that after only 150 times or so, he might recognize it and say "I ran across your site AGAIN"?

But no, every time he sees my site, it's a revelation to him.

And he likes it!
... and it's very good ...
And now you know why I just can't bring myself to get rid of my buddy Eric. It's an affirmation. He looks at a lot of websites, I'm betting, but he always says mine is very good. I like it myself, but it's always nice to have a fresh pair of eyes looking at the site and giving you some honest feedback about the strengths and weaknesses. :batting:
... but you need my product to get people to call you on the phone ...
No, I don't, Eric. We don't want new people calling us anymore. We don't even want you to call us on the phone. But thank you for your support.

Here's the latest one I got ...
Hi, my name is Eric and I just came across your website My_Business_Is_Hating_Eric.com, and it's very well done, but I’m betting you’d like your website to generate more leads.

Here’s how:
Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget that’s works on your site, ready to capture any visitor’s Name, Email address and Phone Number. It signals you as soon as they say they’re interested – so that you can talk to that lead while they’re still there at My_Business_Is_Hating_Eric.com.

Talk With Web Visitor – CLICK HERE (sorry, no link for a spammer) for a live demo now.

And now that you’ve got their phone number, our new SMS Text With Lead feature enables you to start a text (SMS) conversation – answer questions, provide more info, and close a deal that way.

If they don’t take you up on your offer then, just follow up with text messages for new offers, content links, even just “how you doing?” notes to build a relationship.

CLICK HERE (sorry, still no link for a spammer) to discover what Talk With Web Visitor can do for your business.

The difference between contacting someone within 5 minutes versus a half-hour means you could be converting up to 100X more leads today!

Try Talk With Web Visitor and get more leads now.

Eric
PS: The studies show 7 out of 10 visitors don’t hang around – you can’t afford to lose them!
Talk With Web Visitor offers a FREE 14 days trial – and it even includes International Long Distance Calling.
You have customers waiting to talk with you right now… don’t keep them waiting.
CLICK HERE (sorry, STILL no link for a spammer) to try Talk With Web Visitor now.
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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neonzx
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#2

Post by neonzx »

Foggy wrote: Thu Dec 01, 2022 2:21 pm Gotta tell y'all about my buddy Eric, who uses the Contact Us page on our business website.

A lot.
You totally need new friends if you are thinking a spam bot is your buddy.

Or you need better condoms/protection on your email.
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#3

Post by Foggy »

Oh, sure. Let me ask you, how many people send YOU two or three emails a week, telling YOU that a website you designed is "very well done", huh?

This guy looks at websites, and every time he sees mine he says "WHOA! Where's this guy's Contact Us page?"

Oh, wait. Did you see this thread is in "The Funny" because it's my sad attempt to be humorous or sumpin'?

And there's another funny thing about this spammer dude, at the bottom of the email is an unsubscribe link. I didn't copy it because it contains my website and his website in the link, but here's the thing:

1) I will ask our web people: If you click a link to a page named "unsubscribe.htm" on a spammer's website, is it absolutely, 100%, positively guaranteed to unsubscribe you from anything at all, especially since I have never been subscribed in the first place? Isn't it possible to put something else on the page, and just call it "unsubscribe.htm"? :think:

2) Eric knows damned well that I am not subscribed to his emails. If I had subscribed, you'd think he wouldn't be so surprised every time he finds my site. You'd think he'd use my name.

3) So, no, I'm not stupid enough to use the unsubscribe link, because it's just another opportunity for him to sell his creepy widget.

And it IS a little creepy. Did you read the email?

His thing tells you when someone is looking at your website and gives you their phone number so you can call or text them while they're looking at your site.

That would creep me out, big time.
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#4

Post by Foggy »

I wrote a funny post.

I gave it a funny title.

I put it in "The Funny" section of the forum.

It was supposed to be humorous.

So how does neon respond? :think:



He lectures me, because I need new friends. :fingerwag:

Or I need condoms in my email. :?

Man, I know mojosapien is weird, but that neon dude is GRUMPY. I oughta put him in the Grumpy People usergroup!

:lol: :bighug:
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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#5

Post by Foggy »

New!
Hey, this is Eric and I ran across My_Business_Is_Hating_Eric.com a few minutes ago.

Looks great… but now what?

By that I mean, when someone like me finds your website – either through Search or just bouncing around – what happens next? Do you get a lot of leads from your site, or at least enough to make you happy?

Honestly, most business websites fall a bit short when it comes to generating paying customers. Studies show that 70% of a site’s visitors disappear and are gone forever after just a moment.

Here’s an idea…

How about making it really EASY for every visitor who shows up to get a personal phone call you as soon as they hit your site…

You can –

Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget ...
Still thinks my site looks great. I love this guy. :lovestruck:
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#6

Post by neonzx »

Foggy wrote: Fri Dec 02, 2022 1:09 pm New!
Hey, this is Eric and I ran across My_Business_Is_Hating_Eric.com a few minutes ago.

Looks great… but now what?


Here’s an idea…

How about making it really EASY for every visitor who shows up to get a personal phone call you as soon as they hit your site…

You can –

Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget ...
Still thinks my site looks great. I love this guy. :lovestruck:
I found this "fryer" that may occupy your time and keep your mind off your buddy Eric(some of us are starting to talk). I hope you are not offended, and it can really FRY! Not kidding.
Image
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#7

Post by RTH10260 »

Chicken Wings?
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#8

Post by noblepa »

I never click "unsubscribe" on spam email.

Selling lists of email addresses is big business in the spam-verse. They put together lists of addresses and sell them to each other.

One thing that drastically increases the value of an email address, is if the seller can verify that the address is active and that someone actually reads the messages. When you click unsubscribe, you have verified just that and made yourself a much more valuable target.

I think that this is the reason that many electronic post offices do not respond when they receive a message for a mailbox that does not exist in their domain. IOW, if I send a message to bogusmailbox@validcompany.com, their email server will just drop the message. In the old days, you used to get an automatic reply saying that that mailbox does not exist in that domain. The admins of many sites realized that doing so just makes life easier for the spammers, by allowing them to cull the bogus email addresses from their lists.
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#9

Post by Dave from down under »

Perhaps show your appreciation of Eric’s appreciation by sending him some processed meat* can’s for Christmas by post with postage to be paid on receipt…

I’ve heard that some like SPAM..
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#10

Post by Foggy »

Yeah, for me spam comes in waves, but Thunderbird clears out most of it. My main email address - on my domain that uses my name - has been in continuous use for more than 25 years, and every spammer on the planet has it.

I got a million emails about enlargement of personal equipment. Another million about pain pills. And so on.

Lately, I get a lot of "Thank you for paying $450 for Geek Squad, call this number if you want to dispute the charge." It's amazing how many people tell me I paid them $450 or more. I must really like Geek Squad, because apparently I pay a lot of Geek Squads.

But nobody is as nice as Eric. Eric really likes my work. :oldman:
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#11

Post by bill_g »

We like your website as well Foggy. Very well done. Sorry. No unsubscribe button for you to get rid of us. You're stuck with us.
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#12

Post by Foggy »

There are worser fates, bill_g. 8-)
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#13

Post by Frater I*I »

Foggy wrote: Sat Dec 03, 2022 7:52 am There are worser fates, bill_g. 8-)
Like allowing Orly Taitz to perform dental work on you....







I'll see myself out...
"He sewed his eyes shut because he is afraid to see, He tries to tell me what I put inside of me
He's got the answers to ease my curiosity, He dreamed a god up and called it Christianity"

Trent Reznor
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#14

Post by northland10 »

neonzx wrote: Fri Dec 02, 2022 1:25 pm
Foggy wrote: Fri Dec 02, 2022 1:09 pm New!
Hey, this is Eric and I ran across My_Business_Is_Hating_Eric.com a few minutes ago.

Looks great… but now what?


Here’s an idea…

How about making it really EASY for every visitor who shows up to get a personal phone call you as soon as they hit your site…

You can –

Talk With Web Visitor is a software widget ...
Still thinks my site looks great. I love this guy. :lovestruck:
I found this "fryer" that may occupy your time and keep your mind off your buddy Eric(some of us are starting to talk). I hope you are not offended, and it can really FRY! Not kidding.
Image
No Alexa on it? The healthy air fryers have Alexa.
101010 :towel:
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#15

Post by Foggy »

Good day,

My name is Eric and unlike a lot of emails you might get, I wanted to instead provide you with a word of encouragement – Congratulations

What for?

Part of my job is to check out websites and the work you’ve done with MyBusinessIsHatingEric.com definitely stands out.

It’s clear you took building a website seriously and made a real investment of time and resources into making it top quality.


There is, however, a catch… more accurately, a question …
Well, you can guess the rest ... :lol:
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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#16

Post by mojosapien »

Instagram is the enemy!
Think like a fortune cookie. ©2022-Mojosapien
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#17

Post by RTH10260 »

Foggy wrote: Sat Dec 17, 2022 9:03 am :snippity:
Well, you can guess the rest ... :lol:
He is offering you T Trading Cards at the vastly improved special price of $199 :?:
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#18

Post by Foggy »

No, this is Eric, and he's a very bad boy. He knows darn well he shouldn't be using our contact form, which is for our customers.

To enter the praise for me and my mad website-building skills, he has to enter it into a box that says: "Tell us about your current health insurance." :lol:

But he thinks it's more important to tell me what a great website I made. He's a peach, that guy. :towel:
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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My favorite spammer, Eric. He keeps my spirits up.

#19

Post by Foggy »

Hey, this is Eric and I ran across [my website].com a few minutes ago.

Looks great… but now what?

By that I mean, when someone like me finds your website – either through Search or just bouncing around – what happens next? Do you get a lot of leads from your site, or at least enough to make you happy?
Eric, you found my website 8 times this week. Nobody finds my website more often than you, Eric. You're a pro at finding my website. It will still be there tomorrow, you can find it again!

Thanks for saying it looks great, though. I really appreciate it.


Image


Open Enrollment is not over yet, we can still get you covered beginning Feb. 1, if you live in North Cackilacki. Are you interested in health insurance, Eric?
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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#20

Post by pipistrelle »

Foggy wrote: Thu Dec 01, 2022 4:17 pm Oh, sure. Let me ask you, how many people send YOU two or three emails a week, telling YOU that a website you designed is "very well done", huh?
I get many, mostly from different bots, some from the same. They always want to write business articles for my very well done site...that has nothing to do with business.

And they know all about SEO! Which is why they're reduced to spamming.
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#21

Post by pipistrelle »

Wait, are you sure this isn't Eric Trump? Sounds like their kind of successful biz.
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#22

Post by Foggy »

Oh noes, it's Eric Trump! Aieeee!
:panic:
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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