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today’s funny
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duck dodgers
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Tiredretiredlawyer
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Re: today’s funny
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
Re: today’s funny
Oh Gawds.
And Amazon Prime has it for streaming ("Office Space" for anyone who doesn't know the '37 pieces of flair' reference).
And Amazon Prime has it for streaming ("Office Space" for anyone who doesn't know the '37 pieces of flair' reference).
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bill_g
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Re: today’s funny
YouTube goodness ...
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keith
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Re: today’s funny
Cross posting from another forum I read. Identifying info removed.
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We're nearly back to Missoula for the second time this year, and about 35 miles east of town on I-90 road construction closes the slow lane and traffic merges left and slows down. Just before reaching work on a west-bound Interstate overpass we're shunted across the median to the fast lane of the east bound I-90 lanes. The overpass work has jack-hammered all the concrete off of the west-bound overpass down to the underlying superstructure of steel beams and girders. What remains are huge open gaping holes and a matrix of remnant concrete with gnarly shards of rebar poking upward. I couldn't tell if the overpass spanned the Clark Fork river or the railroad, but it was about 30' above whatever it spanned, and the span was 100'-125' long or so. In the goddamned middle of the span, I fucking swear on a stack, there's a pickup truck wedged into the superstructure gaps. It's pitched violently forward and to the left side such that I can't see the condition of the driver's side window below the upper portion of the concrete divider that separated my line of sight from across the median strip. Now there are only about 3 ways this could have transpired.
1. After all the jackhammer work was done someone used the nearby crane to put their buddy's truck onto the span.
2. Some asshole parked his truck on the span and the rest of the crew decided to bust his chops by jackhammering away all the concrete underneath it for 60' front and back of his rig and on both sides as well.
3. Some shiteating pissant decided to assert his freedumb, and driving at freeway speed and yelling "Let's Go Brandon!!!" drove 60' across gaping holes and shredding rebar shards to impact violently in the middle of a bridge potentially flying through his windshield and down 30' to the space below.
When we crossed the span my wife looked at me and said : "As soon as we can we gotta get the fuck outta this state."
To my family: Arizona, we're coming home. Don't do anything stoopid in the meantime.
Arizona: Not possible. Montana took all the stoopid with it.
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We're nearly back to Missoula for the second time this year, and about 35 miles east of town on I-90 road construction closes the slow lane and traffic merges left and slows down. Just before reaching work on a west-bound Interstate overpass we're shunted across the median to the fast lane of the east bound I-90 lanes. The overpass work has jack-hammered all the concrete off of the west-bound overpass down to the underlying superstructure of steel beams and girders. What remains are huge open gaping holes and a matrix of remnant concrete with gnarly shards of rebar poking upward. I couldn't tell if the overpass spanned the Clark Fork river or the railroad, but it was about 30' above whatever it spanned, and the span was 100'-125' long or so. In the goddamned middle of the span, I fucking swear on a stack, there's a pickup truck wedged into the superstructure gaps. It's pitched violently forward and to the left side such that I can't see the condition of the driver's side window below the upper portion of the concrete divider that separated my line of sight from across the median strip. Now there are only about 3 ways this could have transpired.
1. After all the jackhammer work was done someone used the nearby crane to put their buddy's truck onto the span.
2. Some asshole parked his truck on the span and the rest of the crew decided to bust his chops by jackhammering away all the concrete underneath it for 60' front and back of his rig and on both sides as well.
3. Some shiteating pissant decided to assert his freedumb, and driving at freeway speed and yelling "Let's Go Brandon!!!" drove 60' across gaping holes and shredding rebar shards to impact violently in the middle of a bridge potentially flying through his windshield and down 30' to the space below.
When we crossed the span my wife looked at me and said : "As soon as we can we gotta get the fuck outta this state."
To my family: Arizona, we're coming home. Don't do anything stoopid in the meantime.
Arizona: Not possible. Montana took all the stoopid with it.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls Would scarcely get your feet wet
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Kriselda Gray
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Re: today’s funny
My husband almost hurt himself laughing when I read that to him. Good job!
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raison de arizona
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Re: today’s funny
Hoffy @HoffmeisterRick wrote: I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
Re: today’s funny
Saw a post from a mortician awhile back.
He said he's been tying everyones shoe laces together in the casket. It will make the zombie apocalypse waaaay more enjoyable.
He said he's been tying everyones shoe laces together in the casket. It will make the zombie apocalypse waaaay more enjoyable.
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Tiredretiredlawyer
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Re: today’s funny
https://www.thefunpost.com/en/trip-make ... ges-worthy
And many more....
These Chuckle-Worthy Messages Make a Trip to the Vet More "Pawsitive"
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"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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Phoenix520
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Re: today’s funny
Love the shampoo one. 
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Tiredretiredlawyer
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today’s funny
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"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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RTH10260
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today’s funny
Does anyone know if the guy who came up with the phrase, "One Hit Wonder," ever came up with any other phrases?
today’s funny
Yesterday I realized that I had enough money to survive the rest of the year.
Hic sunt dracones
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keith
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today’s funny
I suppose that today you decided you might have been wrong?
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls Would scarcely get your feet wet
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keith
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today’s funny
Yep. "Today" is New Years Day.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls Would scarcely get your feet wet
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raison de arizona
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today’s funny
For the musically inclined…
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“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
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Tiredretiredlawyer
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today’s funny
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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keith
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today’s funny
OK, that one flew over the cuckoos nest my head.
New Year C-sharp 2022 / New Me B-flat 2023
There must be a pun in there somewhere, but I don't see it.
EDIT: Oh, wait. I get it - as soon as I hit submit on the post it dawned on me. Don't hit me.
New Year C-sharp 2022 / New Me B-flat 2023
There must be a pun in there somewhere, but I don't see it.
EDIT: Oh, wait. I get it - as soon as I hit submit on the post it dawned on me. Don't hit me.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls Would scarcely get your feet wet
today’s funny
I need a clue here!
TRL?
Keith?
Bueller?
Anyone‽
TRL?
Keith?
Bueller?
Anyone‽
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Tiredretiredlawyer
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today’s funny
They are the same note with different names. 
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
today’s funny
Got it!
Thank you.