We Are Family!

[AndyinPA]

[Whatever4]

Hubby's mom accomplished her death journey at home on April 29, 2022, exactly nine months after being admitted to a hospice program. As Hubby says, "She birthed me." I say, "We gave her the death she wanted and deserved with little, if any pain, on her part and at home." It was a sacred experience for Hubby and for me. We became closer being Team Charlotte. She was a truly good woman who deserved to die as she wished.

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

Thanks to all for your hugs and sympathy.

[northland10]

[Frater I*I]

Thanks to all for your hugs and sympathy.

My heart aches for you Third Grandma

[And black and withered as it is, that shows how much we have connected]

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

Thanks to all for your hugs and sympathy.

My heart aches for you Third Grandma

[And black and withered as it is, that shows how much we have connected]

My sweet boy, thank you.

[Patagoniagirl]

Double post. Sorry.

[Patagoniagirl]

Long bitching post:

I take my mom to shop for groceries and doo-dads. She is legally blind and hard of hearing. (She can't afford hearing aids)

So as.we.go, I tell her what stuff is on the isles. I have to speak very loudly to describe what things are. I know it is annoying to other shoppers.

I could just go get stuff on her list, but doing her own thing is important to her. Since her macular degeneration and hearing loss, she falls into depression - as one might - losing independence. It isolates her.

At 82, she is in great shape except eyes and ears. And a new diagnosis of lung cancer. I hate that I have to yell at her to be heard. Not for me, but others around her. And she stopped cooking on the stove or in the oven, because even though I have marked the stove and oven with bright orange stickers,on the knobs, she caught things on fire in her kitchen. I'm not moving her to "assisted" because we just now do frozen microwave, or toaster oven meals. She's ok.

The kicker is...I don't really like my MAGA mom. But my heart breaks for her lack of independence. I love her very much, but don't like her. She's MAGA. She says " Black". Always has. Not happy with " Dot head" doctors and is happy that where she lives it doesn't have *blaaaa..." Or Mexicans" don't work there.

She calls me five or six times of day because she's lonely, or doesn't feel good. If I don't call back, she has often called for the local cops to do a Health and Wallneness check!

She's a frightened child. She's afraid of dying. She's afraid of pain. I've spent sooo many hours with her at the hospital. And honestly, terrible me, I exhausted my spirit with my son, and at the same time my husband in awful hospital and dying scenerious that I can't find anymore wells to draw from.

It's all a pickle. I'll let myself out i quickly if I get this way instead of putting my kids through this

[AndyinPA]

I'm so sorry. It's so hard going through this as a daughter, even if you like and love your mom. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. My mother went legally blind, but still had her hearing until closer to the end. My dad died unexpectedly within months of her going blind, so it was a tough time. She went blind as a result of a side effect of an autoimmune disease she had, and she was so angry with herself for not heeding the warnings, although really none of us knew that that headache could make her blind.

I'm sorry about the cancer diagnosis, too. That must be terrifying for her (and you) on top of all the other things. I can only wish both of you the best. There are lots of shoulders to cry on here. It's just so hard that that's usually the only thing we can do.

[Phoenix520]

Mr520’s grandmother went to a nursing home after she had a heart attack at the dumpster one night while taking out the trash. A neighbor revived her and called 911 and she never forgave him.

She was independent from a young age. But she was happier In the home after cataract surgery and ear wax removal. She didn’t have Alzheimer’s but she had memory issues. “You never come to see me” but we did, once a week.

We had a stack of photos from her youth and we’d bring new ones every week. At first she had no clue but after going through them a couple of times she’d start to remember. You could see it in the way her face softened and her eyes lit up.

Can you talk to your mom about real things? Is there a reason she’s racist or just… how she was brought up? My dad changed so much in his last year I hardly knew him. He was talking about God and going over the hill to see his friends and family. I never did get closure with him. If I tried he’d suddenly be confused and disoriented, with a cunning look to see if I bought it.

[Patagoniagirl]

I know others face these things. As parents and grown children. You have no idea the comfort and advice you all offer helps me.

[Lani]

Can your mom still read? You can show her a tablet or cellphone that captions what you say. (I use that slot on my job.) Also you can make the screen larger, so maybe she can see it.

I love what you are doing. You & her are lucky to have communication.

I thought a law was passed, due to Elizabeth Warren, that made it possible to buy hearing aids at a drugstore. Could that help?

My mom had early onset Alzheimer's, late 60's/early 70's. But that wasn't known at the time. It was so difficult to support her. Sending you love.

[Patagoniagirl]

Mom can't read anymore Lani but she gets books on tape from the Library for the Blind, and we got her an Alexa. She loves it when she remembers it! She also has an ipad my brother set up for her some time ago so she can get pics of the grands and greats. She calls one of us kids (usually me) at least once a week because her iPad won't work. It does. She just stabs away at it, hitting icons and can't find her way back to the sharing app that was set up for pictures. I don't know anything much about ipads or iphones but I'm chatting with my bros about hiding everything but her google and our private picture sharing app.

An odd thing has happened to her. She has no memory of her previous hospitalizations and much of her health history. It's like her - difficult or traumatic experiences are wiped from her memory, and that scares her...it's just gone. Lucky her! I can't forget mine. Other than these things, she is remarkedly independent and loves her apartment.

Eldest just move to the Wilmington NC area and is getting settled. He discovered Washington NC and absolutely loves it. The pics he has sent are beautiful and he's wickedly enjoying fresh seafood and being close to the water. This Podunk Village I live in works for old hermits like me, but not for a young man like him. I'm glad he made the decision to move. We all want our kids to be happy and safe.

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

Hubby's mother died of breast cancer recently. She had hearing problems until about two weeks before she died then she heard perfectly! Hubby had bought some hearing aids on Amazon that worked. They cost $125.

My MIL did not suffer pain from her breast cancer that we could tell. As soon as we noticed facial grimaces, her doctor prescribed a fentanyl patch. She was in hospice for nine months, in her own home, and died in her own home. The hospice folks were lifesavers! Be sure to check what is available for your mother, PG. She may qualify now for hospice in the home.

During the time we had with her, I recorded on my IPhone stories of her youth, her marriage, and any other things I thought would be interesting to know. This gave her a way to communicate something different other than needs. It also triggered memories for other family members who were listening.

You are a shero!

[Patagoniagirl]

Hubby's mother died of breast cancer recently. She had hearing problems until about two weeks before she died then she heard perfectly! Hubby had bought some hearing aids on Amazon that worked. They cost $125.

My MIL did not suffer pain from her breast cancer that we could tell. As soon as we noticed facial grimaces, her doctor prescribed a fentanyl patch. She was in hospice for nine months, in her own home, and died in her own home. The hospice folks were lifesavers! Be sure to check what is available for your mother, PG. She may qualify now for hospice in the home.

During the time we had with her, I recorded on my IPhone stories of her youth, her marriage, and any other things I thought would be interesting to know. This gave her a way to communicate something different other than needs. It also triggered memories for other family members who were listening.

You are a shero!

Wondered ideas! I'm interested in what brand of hearing aides you got for your MIL. I've been hesitant to buy anything yet because...don't know if they work well or if some of them are shitty.

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

Here is the link for the hearing aids.

This is the link for the various sizes of ear pieces.

[sugar magnolia]

https://hearingaiddonations.org/resources/

[AndyinPA]

So we can offer something more than a shoulder to cry on! for all!

[Patagoniagirl]

Hubby's mother died of breast cancer recently. She had hearing problems until about two weeks before she died then she heard perfectly! Hubby had bought some hearing aids on Amazon that worked. They cost $125.

My MIL did not suffer pain from her breast cancer that we could tell. As soon as we noticed facial grimaces, her doctor prescribed a fentanyl patch. She was in hospice for nine months, in her own home, and died in her own home. The hospice folks were lifesavers! Be sure to check what is available for your mother, PG. She may qualify now for hospice in the home.

During the time we had with her, I recorded on my IPhone stories of her youth, her marriage, and any other things I thought would be interesting to know. This gave her a way to communicate something different other than needs. It also triggered memories for other family members who were listening.

You are a shero!

Wonderful ideas! I'm interested in what brand of hearing aides you got for your MIL. I've been hesitant to buy anything yet because...don't know if they work well or if some of them are shitty.

[Patagoniagirl]

Hearing aids ordered. Delivery date not until 7-16! That's okay.

[AndyinPA]

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

I am now officially a jewelry designer! At the launch party last Friday the cuff bracelets and pendants were sold out!

The design is PROGRESSIVE Woman (the middle cuff) and we are getting it trademarked. I donated the design to Progressive Arkansas Women PAC as I was looking for a way to make passive income without the need of an event. BUT, we had an event anyway that I organized with the jeweler at her store/studio. SUCCESS!

Here are the pieces which can be made in aluminum and bronze:

F4F23B83-750C-4FB1-B1E7-B72280DF48A6.jpeg (23.79 KiB) Viewed 477 times

79001C49-7A3C-4D0C-99BE-24067D0DAE2F.jpeg (72.73 KiB) Viewed 477 times

You can order from this site: https://www.bangupbetty.com/shop/progre ... ing-pawpac

Bang-up Betty is the name of the owner’s deceased male cat. The jewelry store was voted the best jewelry store, artisan and gift shop in the popular Arkansas Times’ Best of Arkansas. This was announced on Thursday the day before our event. She has some really snarky pieces.

[Foggy]

[AndyinPA]

Very impressive! Congratulations!