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Weird Headlines

Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2023 2:22 pm
by neonzx
raison de arizona wrote: Thu Jul 27, 2023 1:18 pm
Subway Says It Will Give a Lifetime of Free Subs If You Change Your Name to ‘Subway’
One superfan camped out for two days to get a footlong tattoo of the Subway Series logo in exchange for free Subway for life
The story: https://themessenger.com/business/subwa ... -to-subway
The offer: https://newsroom.subway.com/2023-07-26- ... y-for-Life
Yeah, great deal. Lump some cash of $750 for costs of changing name + $50,000 in Subway gift cards all at once. Reported to IRS as taxable income.

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2023 11:21 am
by RTH10260
Chinese zoo denies its sun bears are humans dressed in costumes

the story
► Show Spoiler

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2023 6:21 pm
by Gregg
I dunno if I trust that zoo after I saw the picture...

Image

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2023 6:49 pm
by pipistrelle

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Aug 07, 2023 7:07 pm
by neonzx
pipistrelle wrote: Mon Aug 07, 2023 6:49 pm Driver injured after car crashed into second floor of Pennsylvania home
Check out all the photos.
Wild, eh? I saw an initial report on that earlier today but details were scant at the time. At that time they didn't report how this car ended up on the second floor. Makes total sense now. It's Pennsylvania. I've lived in south Floriduh for so many years that I'd forgotten that other places are not pancake flat boring. :biggrin:

Weird Headlines

Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2023 8:18 am
by Suranis
Kitui: Eagle picks snake, fight ensues, eagle drops snake, snake lands on car, bites man

https://www.citizen.digital/news/kitui- ... n-11744766

Weird Headlines

Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2023 8:45 am
by bill_g
That's some serious bad karma.

Weird Headlines

Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2023 9:09 am
by Uninformed
Coincidence? :shock:

“Texas woman injured after hawk drops snake on her”:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-66446697

“A Texas woman was attacked by a hawk and a snake at the same time after the bird - which eats snakes - accidentally dropped the wriggling serpent on her.
Peggy Jones, 64, was mowing her lawn last month when a passing hawk dropped a snake on her before swooping down to angrily try to reclaim its meal.
The snake wrapped itself around her arm and began striking her face as the bird sunk its talons deep into her flesh.
The terrifying ordeal left her with cuts and bruising to her arm and face.
The bizarre incident took place on 25 July in the town of Silsbee, Texas, near the Louisiana border.”

Weird Headlines

Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2023 11:19 am
by johnpcapitalist
Suranis wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 8:18 am Kitui: Eagle picks snake, fight ensues, eagle drops snake, snake lands on car, bites man

https://www.citizen.digital/news/kitui- ... n-11744766
and:
Uninformed wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 9:09 am “Texas woman injured after hawk drops snake on her”:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-66446697
The number of people attacked by snakes dropped on them by birds of prey in 2023 now exceeds the number of Americans attacked in the US by Muslim terrorists this year. Yet the right-wing echo chamber still makes it sound like we're in imminent danger of being beheaded by hordes of masked ISIS terrorists at any moment.

Weird Headlines

Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2023 12:54 pm
by RTH10260
:shh: the great MSM conspiracy nobody wants you to know --- the ISIS trained eagles :silenced:

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2023 10:17 am
by Suranis
Melbourne man charged with lighting fires had Ducklings in his underwear, police allege.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-n ... ice-allege

:shock:

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2023 10:28 am
by Foggy
Ducklings.

In his underwear.

:|

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2023 10:29 am
by neonzx
Are we sure The Guardian didn't lift this story from The Onion?

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2023 10:53 am
by bill_g
He was channeling his inner roo.

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2023 6:44 pm
by keith
What? You never been tickled with a feather?

Cloistered life.

Weird Headlines

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2023 6:50 pm
by qbawl
keith wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2023 6:44 pm What? You never been tickled with a feather?

Cloistered life.
I heard a variation of this where the follow up was something like "Fickle ass weather lately."

Weird Headlines

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 2:25 am
by RTH10260
Japanese man lives dog’s life in long-haired collie suit

► Show Spoiler

Weird Headlines

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:40 am
by Foggy
Cynical.

Weird Headlines

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 11:23 am
by Sam the Centipede
Foggy wrote: Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:40 amCynical.
:confuzzled: Now I'm wondering whether Foggy has cracked an overly deep etymological jeu de mots about the collie suit story. I think I'll go with option B, that I've missed the point. :shrug:

Weird Headlines

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 12:23 pm
by Foggy
The word cynic meant "dog-like" in ancient Greece. It was a dog-like joke. :lol:

And an ancient Greece joke.

You can't buy this level of humor on other planets.

Umm, this guy is a dog born into a human body, amirite?


The word Cynic, meaning “dog-like” in Greek, was a nickname conferred upon Diogenes of Sinope (412-323 BCE) and his followers by their detractors because, in pursuit of the good life, these freedom-seekers lived out-of-doors and, like stray dogs, got their food from ancient dumpsters and by begging. Source

Weird Headlines

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2023 10:14 am
by Sam the Centipede
:lovestruck: Ah, so I wondered right!!

:dog: Who's a clever Fdoggy, eh? Is it you? Yes it is, you're a clever Fdoggy! :dog:

If I ever try a smart-ass joke like that, stony ground awaits it and its deserved withering. :crying:
Off Topic
So here's a wholly unrelated completely clean joke, un chiste, in imperfect (ok, actually present) Spanish, remembered from my long past schooldays:
Un hombre entra a una tienda. Pregunta al comerciante «¿vendes diclorodifeniltriclorotolueno?» El comerciante piensa por un momento y luego pregunta «aa ¿deseas comprar DDT?»
«Sí» responde el hombre «nunca recuerdo esas tres letras.»

Weird Headlines

Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2023 10:24 am
by bill_g
:lol:

Weird Headlines

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2023 12:51 pm
by Suranis
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/202 ... plnews_d-1
US driver pulled over with huge African bull riding shotgun in car
The underheadline would also qualify.
Converted vehicle stopped in Nebraska with gigantic-horned Watusi bovine called Howdy Doody as passenger

Weird Headlines

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2023 12:56 pm
by jemcanada2
bill_g wrote: Wed Aug 23, 2023 10:24 am:lol:
With my rusty Spanish, I think I understand the joke. :lol: :lol:

Weird Headlines

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2023 3:13 pm
by Tiredretiredlawyer
Great joke!