Jokes

[Dave from down under]

We probably have snakes here every day.

We just don’t see them…

Well.. we do… but not every day… except for the last two weeks… but I didn’t see any today…

[raison de arizona]

Not really a joke, but it made me laugh so

► Show Spoiler

[Phoenix520]

My ear worm, ever since we went to Pioneertown last month, is actually the punch line to a joke about Roy Rogers and his sidekick, set to the tune about the choocho.

Pardon me Roy,
Ain’t that the cat
who chewed your
new shoes?

You can tell by the lace
Hanging out
Of his face.


Help me

[Liz]

Bill Maher on Friday interviewed Russian-American journalist Julia Ioffe
Maher asked if she remembered "the old joke" about the Soviet Union.

Ioffe proceeded to tell her joke.
"What doesn't fit in your ass and doesn't buzz?" she asked.

Maher did not immediately respond, but laughed instead.
"I'll wait," Ioffe said patiently.

"What doesn't fit in your ass and doesn't buzz? I don't know," Maher said.
"A Soviet-made ass-buzzer," Ioffe said.

[pjhimself]

[keith]

Not really a joke, but it made me laugh so

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I disagree that "guys" is a gendered prounoun. I have used it as an ungendered pronoun since I was about 4 years old and I will continue to use it that way until the day I die.

[Sam the Centipede]

I think "guys" tends to be gendered or not depending on the country or area one is in. My impression is that Britain, Ireland and Australia tennis towards it implying masculine referents, but the word is less frequently used than in AmE. Given the penetration of US television around the world I am surprised that it's not accepted as possibly ungendered, if grudgingly.

"Folks" is an oddity: the plural form of a plural?

ETA: Whoops: corrected predictive mistyping

[neonzx]

I have a tendency to use "hey kids", which is non gender specific. I'm sure I've used it here, as well, even though some I'm directing the comments to are elders to me.

[raison de arizona]

I used “guys” as an ungendered pronoun regularly until it was brought to my attention in a professional setting that despite my intent, there were those that felt it to be exclusionary and felt excluded. So I stopped using it.

[bill_g]

Boy oh boy. What a conundrum.

Next up - counting angels on the head of a pin.

[Suranis]

Boy oh boy. What a conundrum.

Next up - counting angels on the head of a pin.

Call them "Non corporal divine servitors (nonGender)" YOU MONSTER!

[Dave from down under]

[Sam the Centipede]

Perhaps "you assholes" should be used more widely as a non-gendered collective?

Especially when addressing a claque of trumpistas.

[bill_g]

Sphincters of the World faint upon hearing this.

[Sam the Centipede]

Sphincters of the World faint upon hearing this.

I'm sorry Bill, I didn't realise that you were a member!

[bill_g]

Sphincters of the World faint upon hearing this.

I'm sorry Bill, I didn't realise that you were a member!

You're rotten to the core Crabby Appleton!

[keith]

I used “guys” as an ungendered pronoun regularly until it was brought to my attention in a professional setting that despite my intent, there were those that felt it to be exclusionary and felt excluded. So I stopped using it.

I understand that issue. There is an argument that 'guys' is male and 'gals' is female. But where I grew up, and the people around me when I was growing up, 'gals' was considered vaguely rude or demeaning, and 'guys' was a perfectly acceptable informal greeting for any group of any gender mix. I cannot really justify that difference, I merely absorbed it.

I emphasise that the usage is informal. Instruction manuals or legal documents or whatever are NOT 'informal'. It is inappropriate to use the word 'guys' in formal use. There are plenty of other perfectly usable forms of speech that are non-gendered without straining the vocabulary beyond its reasonable bounds.

[Suranis]

The Joke was that when the guy was screaming for help all he got was an automated response chiding him for his non PC language and that it would upset anyone who read it. It ignored that the guy reading the response was in trouble and would probably be upset reading the thing refusing to send the cry for help unless he corrected his language to be non triggering.

Its a bit like the Titanic transmitting "save our souls" and getting the response. "I'm sorry, we cant respond to your distress call till you correct your language so as to avoid offense to our Atheist community"

OR Ir Ukraine screaming "The Russian b********s are invading!!!" and the international community refusing to so anything till they "correct their language to avoid offense to the illegitimate community. And B********S is a Gendered term so you have to acknowledge that the Russian army has women serving in it. And don't be racially insensitive."

I mean, come on. Don't be the joke. Also, I wish to protest about your slur on the asshole community...

[Suranis]

point.jpg (69.39 KiB) Viewed 1532 times

[bill_g]

... in three words or less.

[Suranis]

Uh... I know! *ahem*

"Vini, Vici, Veni." - "I saw, I conquered, I came."

Wait, that's not it...

[bill_g]

Uh...

"Vini, Vici, Veni." - "I saw, I conquered, I came."

Wait, that's not it...

That's the GOP orgy thread.

[raison de arizona]

Not a joke, but funny.

Random guy at bar: You must have a big job.

Me:

RGAB: The only people I know who have 2 cell phones are people with big jobs, like my brother.

Me: What does your brother do?

RGAB: He’s the General Counsel of Southern Company.

Me: Your…your brother is Jim Kerr?

RGAB:

[busterbunker]

When I was a kid, I read Jokes and their Relationship to the Unconscious, which is pretty good reading, but there's only one joke I can remember. There was these two Jews hanging outside a bathhouse. One of them asked "Hey, did you take a bath today?" The other replied "No, why is one missing?"

Yo don't slap me, slap Freud. When I lived in London, I got busted for the same language. "We don't take baths, we have them," admonished one of my flatmates. I was like sure, whatever, but that's because you don't have showers.

When I lived in NYC I discovered that all jokes regarding current events were conceived on Wall St. when the trading floor opened. Those guys are crazy. Then they would work their way uptown. Like when I was in the East 20's they'd get delivered around 11AM. Those guys are mean. Once again, I only got one joke I can remember, but I'm already flirting with triple secret probation.

I'll never forget the first time I saw Chris Rock, at a movie theater in way upper Harlem. Now this ain't like munching your popcorn at some suburban cineplex, it's an interactive experience, audience participation, and sometimes the audience wins. They can be brutal! It was like a cameo but nobody had ever seen him before. He got a standing ovation.

[johnpcapitalist]

Not a joke, but funny.

Random guy at bar: You must have a big job.

RGAB: The only people I know who have 2 cell phones are people with big jobs, like my brother.

Funny, I never thought of people with two cellphones as having a big job. I thought of them as corporate drones. That's certainly true in my case. Because of information security requirements, everyone at my employer (big tech company with tens of thousands of employees) is issued a company cell phone. It's heavily locked down and can be wiped remotely so any corporate information instantly disappears, and the phone is bricked. The only business-related thing we're allowed to do on our personal devices is call IT Security if our corporate phone gets lost so they can shut it down and send us a new one.