Fogbow

bill_g wrote: ↑Mon Jan 09, 2023 9:05 am

MsDaisy wrote: ↑Mon Jan 09, 2023 8:34 am Poor babies! Sending positive energy and lots of love....

Thank you MsDaisy.

***

I'm quaking right now. My hands won't stop shaking. I think we messed up signing the consent forms yesterday. Mrs has a written DNR in place. Her quality of Life has been circling the toilet for the last two years. I'm sure she did not want a slow death from sepsis. She definitely does not want more pain. This may have been the kind of Life Saving procedure she wanted to avoid. I don't know what to do. I'll see if I can talk to the Hospitalist about an aggressive pain management plan. I really need to be her advocate today.

You shouldn’t doubt that DNR, I had one for my sister who died comfortably and peacefully in her bed at home with me. The alternative can in many cases be much worse. I live in Virginia and here the law was at the time and probably still is that if a person was at home they had to have an “EMS DNR” signed by the patient’s physician and posted on the bedroom door or we were legally required to attempt resuscitation. Could be something you might want to check on how that works where you are.

I'm so sorry.

Sending you positive thoughts, bill. You are doing the best you can. Your wife knows that.

When my mom went into a nursing home, I was with her and helped fill out all the forms. One of the nurses later told my brother - a physician - that she was concerned that we had NOT selected the DNR option. Mom had severe osteoporosis. As my brother explained to me, CPR often breaks ribs. With my mother, that would be a certainty. For your wife, Bill_G, that would be a certainty. And as my brother explained, my mom would end up with awful pain from the bruising and broken ribs and would end up confined to a bed from that procedure. Gee, it's not all happily ever after like the TV show Emergency portrayed CPR.

Bill_G, I am so glad you are an advocate for your wife and I hope that her quality of life improves soon. Hugs to you both.

Jeez, Bill. I hate this.

Sending healing energy, to whatever degree I can.

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Hard decisions. Take care.

Thinking of you both. The stress can be unbearable but I know you'll get it figured out.

More hugs!!!!.

Keeping you and your wife in my thoughts, Bill.

Bill-

Medical decisions are so difficult. Prayers on you and the Mrs., bill. Are you dealing with terrible driving weather on top of everything? Stay safe.

You mentioned talking to the hospitalist, and your hospital may be different than mine, but the ombudsman or patient advocate or whatever yours calls it may be easier to speak to if it's time critical. I could make one phone call and Adrian would have things lined up and questions answered much, much faster than I could get to the hospitalist. He didn't even make daily rounds and when he did, it didn't feel like he had the time for questions or extended discussions. Your mileage may vary, but get everyone possible in your corner to make things as easy on yourself as possible.

I'll see if I can talk to the Hospitalist about an aggressive pain management plan. I really need to be her advocate today.

You are a great advocate.

Bill, I just got caught up on your thread and I am so sorry to hear what you and your wife are dealing with. It sounds l Iike you're doing everything you can for your wife and taking great care of her.

Sending you big, soft hugs and healing energies as best I can.

I am mastering how to maintain ostomy bags. The first step was how to empty them. The second was how to change them. It's not an awful process. I know more than you want to know. I'll spare you.

Today I'm bringing an assortment of approved foods for her to try. Mrs claims all hospital food is terrible and refuses to consume anything but apple juice or water from them. That doesn't help with her basic problem. She needs the calories and the nutrition. Thankfully for now it is a short list of soft foods: white bread, pasta, cheese, overcooked veggies, fruit juices. I can accomplish that.

I was wondering how things were going. Thanks for the update.

Tiredretiredlawyer wrote: ↑Thu Jan 12, 2023 9:01 am I was wondering how things were going. Thanks for the update.

Yeah. It's one-step-forward,one-step-back progress. Yesterday we also determined her physical strength was atropied from being in bed for a week. She can't help lift herself on/off the John, or even to get in/out of bed meaning I won't be able to care for her at home. She can't even stand on her own. We're working on it, but we gotta get food into her first. Fill the gas tank, then fix the engine.

My sister-in-law who is dealing with pancreatic cancer has been adding a flavorless protein powder to things like instant mashed potatoes in order to get enough protein in her diet. Is that something your wife should consider?

Oh my!!! It's so hard but I know your wife couldn't do any better than the care she's receiving from you, and the help I hope you get soon. She's lucky to have you (and you her).

And the protein powder is a great idea, if she'll take it. It's something we're using.

Slim Cognito wrote: ↑Thu Jan 12, 2023 11:59 am Oh my!!! It's so hard but I know your wife couldn't do any better than the care she's receiving from you, and the help I hope you get soon. She's lucky to have you (and you her).

And the protein powder is a great idea, if she'll take it. It's something we're using.

It’s so good I wish I’d thought of it. If it’s flavorless it wouldn’t impact that. Don’t know if it adds strange textures.

Slim Cognito wrote: ↑Thu Jan 12, 2023 11:59 am Oh my!!! It's so hard but I know your wife couldn't do any better than the care she's receiving from you, and the help I hope you get soon. She's lucky to have you (and you her).

And the protein powder is a great idea, if she'll take it. It's something we're using.

MN-Skeptic wrote: ↑Thu Jan 12, 2023 11:45 am My sister-in-law who is dealing with pancreatic cancer has been adding a flavorless protein powder to things like instant mashed potatoes in order to get enough protein in her diet. Is that something your wife should consider?

Thanks for the protein powder advise. Something to consider.

As of this morning, she is finally interested in going to a senior care facility for at least a month to rehab, regain some strength, and be closer to independent living again. As it is, she can't get out of bed on her own to walk a few feet to a portable toilet much less prepare a meal for herself. She desperately wants some control over her life, and she doesn't want to be stuck in a bed.

Has anyone talked to you about compression stockings yet? If she spends a lot of time in bed and not walking around, she could get deep vein thrombosis in her legs and that can be bad. D is being checked out for that very thing in the hospital now.


I have a pair myself for long plane flights. I used to do transcription for several ERs. You'd be surprised how many people come off a plane with blood clots in their legs. And they don't have to be those old people looking black or tan ones. Mine have little llamas on them. Check out Amazon.

I want one of the machines that plugs into to the socks and gives your legs some massage while you’re trapped in bed.

Phoenix520 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 12, 2023 7:24 pm I want one of the machines that plugs into to the socks and gives your legs some massage while you’re trapped in bed.

That thing was awesome but freaky because it came on when I wasn't expecting it and the first time I had no idea what it was.

Phoenix520 wrote: ↑Thu Jan 12, 2023 7:24 pm I want one of the machines that plugs into to the socks and gives your legs some massage while you’re trapped in bed.

She's wearing something like this now. A wrap-around on both calves with air bladders that fill and relax. She says they vibrate. Air pump hangs on the end of the bed with the slightest audible buzz - three air lines to each leg.

Ahhhhh. That’s the one. I can feel them now.

I’m jealous.