Fogbow

Rats Slim. Sorry to hear this. Blessing on both of you.

I am so sorry.

Hubs was supposed to be dismissed this morning so I could drive him to Tampa for a clinical trial at Moffitt at 8 am tues. I got there about 10 to find out insurance hadn't approved the trial med. We waited for another 5 hrs for approval. Also too, he had to have home oxygen approved to he could wear it on the 2-1/2 hr trip. That was approved Sunday but too late for me to get delivery and proper training. It's easy they said. Well, it probably is if you get the training but I had to drive to the oxygen shop where a couple of clerks loaded my car. I asked for t training and was told the same thing. Flip this lever,, tighten this thumb screw and adjust the pressure. Sure, no problem.

Later that day, transport brings him to the car. I hook him up flip the lever, adjust and we take off. He says he's not getting any oxygen so I pull over. I look at the tank and it's empty. The gal who trained me didn't close the valve completely and it leaked out over the day. Luckily there was a second tank ready to go and it was full, thank goodness. Between construction and rush hour traffic, we made it to the hotel with little to spare.

I load him into the wheelchair someone donated to us and push him into the hotel while he steers the cart. Two more trips and I have bags, tanks and wheelchair in the room. After rustling up a sandwich to split ( we're both exhausted but I know we have to eat), I get him in bed and sit down to exchange the regulator so I have two fresh tanks for tomorrow only to have the ox leak out. obviously I didn't install it correctly but I'll be damned if I know where I messed up. Luckily they have an after-hours hotline and a very nice lady walked me through it. I'm finally ready to call it a night.

I just want to say this - home health aides don't get paid neeeaaarrly enough. This is brutal.

Oh, Slim - what a mess! I'm glad you got it figured out and I hope things improve soon!

What a horrible experience. I hope it gets better from here.

Well fuck. It is not just hard when you have a seriously ill loved one and exclusively undertake the care.it felt like it was killing me. My Mister didn't want strangers helping. When it was clear I could not get him in the toilet or pick him up off the floor, I found a helper who he liked. Check with someone he knows and trust who might be able to help with transferring and anything else to take a little of the physical help. Please do that for both you and Mr. Slim.

Slim, I know it sucks but you made it through a hellish day. That makes you heroes! Hope it gets better from here.

Yeah P'girl went through this.

He is so lucky to have you helping him.

Right on Slim. In sickness and in health. BTDT (((big hugs)))

Slim and hubs

PGirl gave good advice. I haven't posted about the situation with my mother, but she fell about 3 months ago, and I am full time care giving now. It is brutal, I know what you are going through. Having backup, and arranging for a day off now and then are highly recommended. Home health services are terribly expensive unless you are able to find an individual to direct hire, in my area hiring through an agency is around $30 per hour. That gets expensive in a hurry, especially if you want a full day off. But it's worth it because if you don't care for yourself it becomes more and more difficult to care for your loved one. And on your days off you need to really take the day off, not use it to catch up on other work that you haven't gotten around to, which is what those of us in this situation often are tempted to do. I have someone coming tomorrow and will have my car keys in my hand before she gets here.

Take care of yourself, glad to see you are still posting. Sending love and healing energy and best wishes to you and your mister.

At one point, when both of ol' Wifehorn's parents were dying of Alzheimer's in our home, a doctor leaned across a table and looked me and her right in the eyes.

"You can't possibly be taking care of both these people in your home, all by yourselves," he said.

But I looked right back at him and said, "We've been doing it for two years already, and we're damned good at it." Which we were. I told you, you get hospice when they think you have less than six months to live. We had her mom on hospice for three and a half years, because we took such good care of her.

But it was hard. I'm not gonna pretend it wasn't hard.

Love you, Slim.

I'm back in Tampa at Moffitt. When i went home wed to paybills and handle hurricane stuff, he seemed strong. Last night's chemo didn't make him puke and I thought we were finally getting somewhere. The hospital called early today saying he deteriorated last night and was moved to the ICU. I scrambled like mad and made it to tampa.. his heart and lungs are too badly damaged from 40 years of smoking (quit 10 years ago) and multiple heart attacks to tolerate chemo. All cancer treatment has stopped.

Once I arrived, the docs came in for The Talk. Long story short, he's decided to switch from full code to DNR/DNI. I don't know if he has weeks or days. His daughter is driving down and should arrive sometime tomorrow. One son's here, the other is sick so he can't come...yet.

I...just...cant.

I am so sorry.

So sorry to hear this.

I can't either. My gawd. I have love and love for you and Dennis.

damn. this is heartbreaking

keep on keeping on.

Love to you and your family. You are in a safe place at Fogbow. We care about you and are here for you.