SNL’s Pete Davidson Debuts His Creepy ‘Sex Pest’ Matt Gaetz
Marlow Stern Senior Entertainment Editor Published Apr. 04, 2021 12:05AM ET
Who will play Matt Gaetz? It was the question many a Saturday Night Live fan asked themselves this week. Would it be Alex Moffat, whose Joe Biden has been relatively MIA? Or perhaps “Weekend Update” co-anchor Colin Jost, who gives off strong frat boy energy? We soon got our answer. SNL opened its latest edition with Oops, You Did It Again, a Vegas-set talk show hosted by Chloe Fineman’s Britney Spears spotlighting “the social pariahs of the week,” and was last weaponized against Ted Cruz following his Cancun fiasco. After appearances by Chris Redd’s Lil Nas X and Kate McKinnon’s (hilarious) Pepe Le Pew, we were treated to Florida GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz, played by… Pete Davidson.
Referring to Gaetz as “a full-on sex pest,” Spears grilled the creepy congressman about his recent controversies. The New York Times reported that Gaetz is under investigation for allegedly being in league with an accused sex trafficker, having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl, and possibly violating sex-trafficking laws by paying for her to travel across state lines. Furthermore, CNN reported that Gaetz is said to have showed nude photos of women he’d bragged about sleeping with to fellow lawmakers on the House floor.
“Giggity-giggity-goo!” Davidson’s Gaetz exclaimed, channeling Family Guy’s resident sexual predator Quagmire.
“You were dating a 17-year-old and brought her on trips across state lines?” asked Britney, adding, “Prostitutes say you took ecstasy and had sex with them in Florida hotel rooms? And your Republican colleagues in Congress say you showed them nude photos of women you were sleeping with?” “Which is not a crime… just… horrifying!” Gaetz replied. “That’s ridiculous. People are just targeting me because I defended Donald Trump!” (Gaetz was, strangely enough, the only representative in Congress to vote against a 2017 human trafficking bill.)
When Spears asked Gaetz, “What has Trump done in your defense?” the congressman, who spends nearly all his time kissing Trump’s ass on television (and being creepy toward his daughter), came up empty. “Giggity-squat!” Gaetz responded. As The Daily Beast’s Asawin Suebsaeng reported, Trump has been closely following the Gaetz scandal but his associates have been begging him to stay out of it—for now. As for the SNL cold open, Fineman’s Spears wrapped things up by saying of Gaetz: “Judge him by his face.” “Uh-oh,” uttered Davidson’s Gaetz.
Marlow Stern @MarlowNYC 16m
Colin Jost on #GaetzGate: “A sitting congressman is being accused of child trafficking and the QAnon people are suddenly like, ‘Nah, I need more evidence.’ That was your whole thing! I mean, come on!”
SNL’s Colin Jost Brutally Mocks His Look-Alike Matt Gaetz
The “Weekend Update” co-anchor also took aim at the QAnon crowd for ignoring the Gaetz sex-trafficking allegations.
Marlow Stern Senior Entertainment Editor Published Apr. 04, 2021 12:41AM ET
Following a cold open that saw Pete Davidson debut his creepy, Quagmire-esque Matt Gaetz, Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update” continued the onslaught. “Representative Matt Gaetz, who looks like a caricature-artist drawing of me, is reportedly under investigation for an alleged sexual relationship with an underage girl—because Gaetz believes that only voters should have to show ID,” joked Colin Jost. “It’s also being reported that Gaetz may have paid for sex with women he met online. That story has since been confirmed by his whole vibe.”
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Jost then addressed Gaetz’s incredibly strange (and unconvincing) statement on the allegations, delivered in the third person: “Matt Gaetz has never paid for sex… Matt Gaetz has never ever been on any such websites whatsoever… Matt Gaetz cherishes the relationships in his past and looks forward to marrying the love of his life.” To that, Jost released his own statement in response: “Colin Jost does not believe you… Colin Jost thinks you have been to alllll the websites… Colin Jost thinks you should hold off on sending out those wedding invites.”
Of course, the Trump-loving QAnon crowd—conspiracy theorists who believe that Trump, a good friend of Jeffrey Epstein’s, was somehow waging covert battle against an army of Democratic and Hollywood pedophile sex traffickers—has been remarkably silent concerning the Gaetz revelations. “Here’s the craziest part of this story to me: a sitting congressman is being accused of child trafficking and the QAnon people are suddenly like, ‘Nah, I need more evidence,’” cracked Jost. “That was your whole thing! I mean, come on! Matt Gaetz’s girlfriend, she was allegedly 17, the 17th letter in the alphabet is Q, it all adds up! What are you waiting for? The storm is finally here, and QAnon is like, ‘You can’t believe everything you read on the internet.’” If that weren’t enough, Gaetz was the only representative in Congress to vote against a 2017 human trafficking bill.
s titular Mama June in Fogbow's Favourite Show™ Mama June: From Not To Hot! Fogbow's Theme Song™ Edith Massey's "I Got The Evidence!" 
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92K+ tweets of lies and hate. Honestly, if ObligedFriend wasn't a friend of Foggy's, would have blocked it long ago. 
Philly Boondoggle
This is pretty much what I was thinking. I don't think the attempt to get Gaetz to put up the money was an attempt at extortion. I think it was more of a "hey, if you do this, it might help you (and me, of course) because we can make you look like a hero - you helped free an American being held in Iran. You will look so much like a hero they will forget all about the sex with an underage girl thing".