It sucks growing old

[Phoenix520]

I’ll fifth the Apple Watch endorsement for safety issues. My Fall alert has gone off only twice - once when I sat abruptly, but I have a feeling I’ll appreciate it one day. As Ms MNie mentioned, staying safe and independent will only get more important from here on.

When I was recovering from COVID it would remind me to get up and move. Heart information since COVID is more important to me.

But the coolest part is talking on the Dick Tracy 2-way Wristwatch.

[Gregg]

I have alexa devices all over my house so if I fall and am conscience I can ask Alexa to call for help, even if my phone is in the other room. When I designed my new house I started with a single floor no stairs design because I am so afraid of falling down.

Gettysburg has three floors but an elevator so I don't worry there, same alexa in every room system.

I guess it all falls down if I loose consciousness, until I teach Root Beer how to dial for help.

[pipistrelle]

A lot of this assumes you remain conscious. Do those services include something if you don’t check in periodically or don’t move during certain hours (excluding your sleep schedule)?

[johnpcapitalist]

I have alexa devices all over my house so if I fall and am conscience I can ask Alexa to call for help, even if my phone is in the other room. When I designed my new house I started with a single floor no stairs design because I am so afraid of falling down.

Gettysburg has three floors but an elevator so I don't worry there, same alexa in every room system.

I guess it all falls down if I loose consciousness, until I teach Root Beer how to dial for help.

Good plan on the single-story house. My parents did that when they built their dream home in the islands in Washington State. There are very few single-story houses there, just as in the Northeast, because it cuts heating significantly. They didn't have any mobility problems but wanted to be able to cope if they developed some.

[AndyinPA]

When we built this house, we did it with the idea of being self-sufficient when we got older.* On the first floor, we have living room, dining room, kitchen, primary bedroom, den, bath and laundry. Everything we need. The second floor has two bedrooms, a bath, a loft, and a library that goes out onto the top deck. The loft and the library overlook the living room, with a bridge at the top of the stairs to connect them. The first floor will take care of the two of us into the future: the second is still usable for us, but great for the grandkids.

Alexa is on the first floor, and can be heard easily and responded to in an emergency almost anywhere, but I do have a second one that I should put upstairs.

I'm not so sure that either the watch, phone, or Alexa is any help in case someone is unconscious.



*Of course, this being Pittsburgh, to enter you have to use a flight of steps up to the front door or inside the garage.

[raison de arizona]

Hidden Content

This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content.

[johnpcapitalist]

One thing about growing old: you realize in retrospect that nobody is keeping track of your heroism and courage in deferring medical procedures until the symptoms get bad enough. No trophies, no award presentations in front of your friends, nothing.

Last fall, I had mild but consistent thoracic pain after eating, so I went to the doctor. He said it's one of two things: reflux or gallstones. The plan was to rule out gallstones via an ultrasound, and then put me on a PPI because it'll be reflux if it's not gallstones. So off I went to the ultrasound, and I was indeed diagnosed with gallstones. He also put me on the reflux drug to rule that out. It turned out that I was also suffering from reflux, and 40 mg of pantoprazole fixed that up instantly, like flipping a light switch. But the fact that the pain was from reflux meant also that I had not been experiencing an inflamed gallbladder -- I was asymptomatic.

The recommendation when you have gallstones is to get your gallbladder removed soon. Not emergently, but just get it done as soon as convenient. You will have symptoms at some point, and there is no other treatment than removal, so they say just to get it done. I went ahead and scheduled it for December 22, right before Christmas, at a time when things were slow at work.

My partner's arthritic hip had been deteriorating all last year, and she was able to get on the schedule with a surgeon she liked to do the replacement on December 20, so I cancelled the gallbladder job. Another lesson of aging: over-60 couples need to be good at coordinating not only the social schedule but also the surgical schedule.

Time goes by, and I don't get around to scheduling the gallbladder surgery. Three weeks ago, after dinner, I felt a dull pain growing rapidly in my abdomen and spreading while increasing. It abated after 5 minutes and a few minutes later, I got another wave. It's the most significant abdominal pain I've ever experienced. Left me in the fetal position on the floor of my office for a while.

Stupid me: I called my insurance company's 24-hour nurse advice line, and they went through an eval over the phone. I figured the insurance company would not be too trigger-happy, which suited my general style of not treating every twinge as a potential health crisis. I was quite certain that I was not having a cardiac event. However, they made me promise to go to the ER immediately. Lesson learned: I should have called the surgeon that I had originally scheduled for the gallbladder removal back in December and spoken to an actual doctor, not a nurse with a checklist intended solely to prevent them from getting sued.

Off to the ER. As soon as you tell them you have experienced significant chest pain, they are apparently required to do a full cardiac eval with lots of expensive tests to rule out a heart attack, even if your EKG is normal and you have no other symptoms that would match an MI. Only after four hours of cardiac tests did they get around to an ultrasound to check for gallstones. The tech, who normally is not allowed to comment, said, "oh, yeah, you got 'em," because I could see them myself on the screen.

Stupid me moment #2: The ER doc offered to see if they could find anybody to come in and do an emergency gallbladder removal at midnight. I turned them down because I didn't want to drag someone out of their house just as they're going to bed to come in and do it. But after I got home, I did call the surgeon and booked a consult, which happened on Tuesday. He got on the schedule for May 5. The same day, I got the bill for the ER, $6,800 before the insurance company discount. I have good insurance so my out-of-pocket is capped at a trivial percentage of this, so that's not the big deal -- it's the overall cost to the economy. It's appalling how much they would have charged a cash customer without insurance and then mercilessly hounded them with collection agencies. The vast majority of personal bankruptcies in the US are for medical debt. But I digress.

Wednesday night, after a low-fat dinner (in keeping with the surgeon's recommendation), I got another wave of pain, much longer than the first. I called the surgeon's office and spoke with him. He said he was in the OR the next day and could do me as an add-on (i.e., semi-emergency) case Thursday (i.e., yesterday) afternoon. I had to show up at the ER at 6:00am so they could be sure that they got all the preparatory labs done before everything got busy when the day shift came on at 8:00. By going to the ER, you don't have to worry about the insurance company's pre-clearance requirements, which are designed to save them money by preventing unnecessary surgery. When you get admitted through the ER, the insurance company not only has to pay for the surgery, but they also must pay for the ER charges that you run up before they take you upstairs to the OR. An utterly insane and broken system filled with what we capitalist types call "perverse incentives."

I sat there taking up a bed in the ER from the crack of dawn until they took me upstairs at 3:00. Fortunately, the ER was not busy despite being in a major suburb. Equally fortunately, I thought to bring my phone charger with me so I was able to stay somewhat entertained. Only about 3-4 beds were in use out of 40. A big change from the peak COVID when I'm sure they had every bed full and people in hallways struggling to breathe. Everybody was incredibly kind and patient, BTW. It was very different from hospital stays I've had in the distant past, where everybody seemed overworked and stressed out.

The procedure itself was completely unremarkable. One side effect was quite amusing: they blow in copious amounts of CO₂ to spread your organs apart so they can get the tools in and have a path to remove the spent organ. But when they close with superglue instead of sutures as in the past, the incisions are airtight so the CO₂has to be reabsorbed over a few days. My abdomen is notably lumpy right now because of the location of various pockets of trapped gas. Good thing it's not bikini weather, or I'd be attracting odd comments at the beach. I slept well last night with only Tylenol, and am feeling pretty good this morning. I'll have a full schedule of activities over the weekend and will be back at work on Monday.

The moral of the story: there was absolutely no reward for waiting to have my gallbladder taken out; quite the opposite. When the doctor says, "we should schedule this as soon as possible," take them at their word. And if the schedule slips, don't slip with it. The end result of my self-imagined "heroism" by not pushing to get my gallbladder out was needless pain and tons of extra expense (all of which is the insurance company's problem, not mine, fortunately). No gold stars by name on my permanent record for deferring it... And all of this was due to an organ that is sufficiently optional that it's not even worth transplanting.

[AndyinPA]

Hidden Content

This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content.

Hidden Content

This board requires you to be registered and logged-in to view hidden content.

[p0rtia]

One thing about growing old: you realize in retrospect that nobody is keeping track of your heroism and courage in deferring medical procedures until the symptoms get bad enough. No trophies, no award presentations in front of your friends, nothing.

Wise words.

[Volkonski]

One reason we chose this house when we moved to Texoma was that it was a single story.

[bill_g]

Well, I'm just happy when Mrs decides we should have breakfast. For the first time in almost two years she is having scrambled eggs with bisquits and gravy. Be still my heart. This is a milestone moment.

Tonight's dinner is sketti with marinara and a Ceasar salad. This too is a milestone. She hasn't had a salad in years either.

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

JP- Thank you for sharing your gallstones chronicle. There appears to be something affiliated with the Y chromosome that minimizes the recognition of the practical need to get the body fixed. Now, in contrast, getting the car fixed is a top priority.

I have seen this in Hubby, my brothers, my dad. It is anecdotal for sure, but your wise words and story I plan to share with my sons. I have told my sons many times, if your doctor or your significant other says you need (insert medical treatment here), do it!

I am glad you survived and acknowledge your generosity in allowing your partner to "go first".

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

Way to go, Mrs. G! Baby steps in the right direction!

[jez]

One thing about growing old: you realize in retrospect that nobody is keeping track of your heroism and courage in deferring medical procedures until the symptoms get bad enough. No trophies, no award presentations in front of your friends, nothing.

Wise words.

I'm horrible about waiting until last minute (see last week for anecdotal example). By the time I get to the ER, it's usually overly enlarged abscessed glands that are just waiting for a pothole on the way to Hospital.

I will have to get better and make an appointment with my Dermatologist the moment I feel a lump start to form. I just hate "being a burden" to anyone. Pain and discomfort were just something to be ignored as I was growing up, so unless bone was showing and copious amounts of blood were flowing like Victoria Falls, you ignored it.

Oddly, the surgeon that did my hernia repair (which I got to early enough for it to be fixed easily) is very interested in my HS lesions and all that fun stuff. He is going to be my follow up appointment on Tuesday for my Monday surgery. Maybe he can figure out why one spot will NOT stop bleeding. It's a light bleed, but still seeping.

[johnpcapitalist]

JP- Thank you for sharing your gallstones chronicle. There appears to be something affiliated with the Y chromosome that minimizes the recognition of the practical need to get the body fixed. Now, in contrast, getting the car fixed is a top priority.

I have seen this in Hubby, my brothers, my dad. It is anecdotal for sure, but your wise words and story I plan to share with my sons. I have told my sons many times, if your doctor or your significant other says you need (insert medical treatment here), do it!

I am glad you survived and acknowledge your generosity in allowing your partner to "go first".

Thanks for the kind words. I think that women are actually more inclined to defer medical care than men. While this was the most significant abdominal pain I've ever experienced, I've never given birth so I wouldn't attempt to place this on a relative scale next to that. Given that the majority of women who have kids have more than one time, I am guessing that the fairer sex has a pretty good ability to live in denial of the pain.

Women are also likely to defer medical care because of that caregiving stereotype. I seem to recall reading that a lot of women die of heart attacks because they minimize the symptoms and don't want to let down husband, kids, etc. who are depending on them to cook dinner/drive to soccer practice/whatever.

My mom is the queen of such things. When I was born, she waited four or five hours after her water broke before heading to the hospital. She didn't want to be one of those moms who raced to the hospital a half-dozen times after a couple of abdominal twinges before they actually delivered, taking up space in the delivery room that other people needed more. I was nearly born in a hospital hallway as a result. No anesthesia on that one...

In her 70s, mom needed to have her appendix removed. When they were in there, the surgeons noted that her appendix was displaced from the usual location along with several other useful organs. They discovered that she had an ovarian cyst the size of a cantaloupe, which they took out along with the appendix in a "twofer" deal. When they talked to her after the procedure, they asked if she had felt any pressure down there, and she said that she had felt it for four or five years, and while it was constant and annoying, she didn't want to put the doctors to any trouble.

My mom is not the only example in my life. When my partner finally decided to see the doctor for her hip, his first comment on looking at the X-ray was, "lady, why on Earth did you wait this long to come in? Your hip would have been far enough gone to qualify for surgery two years ago." Two years of stretching, yoga, meditation, deep breathing and an anti-inflammatory diet was a complete waste of time.

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

You have won me over, JP.

[bill_g]

Way to go, Mrs. G! Baby steps in the right direction!

Baby steps indeed. As it stands, her eyes were bigger than her stomach. She paid for eating bisquits and gravy. Misery from mid morning into the afternoon. She skipped dinner.

[Phoenix520]

I’m sorry bill. You’re a good man.

pretty good ability to live in denial of the pain.

It’s not so much denial as tolerance. We know it’s there, we’re just not whiny about it.

Put me in the bad girl column too. I had a stroke because I ignored all advice to look into my blood pressure. My doc scolded me. “Stop acting like a guy.”

[MN-Skeptic]

My husband was the classic doctor avoider. Fortunately, at one point our dentist started taking blood pressure readings when patients came in for dental cleanings. They looked at my sweetie's reading and said "Your blood pressure is TOO HIGH! Go to Urgent Care. We are not working on you today." So, finally, my sweetie had to go to the doctor on a regular basis and take blood pressure medication.

[Lani]

I'm trying to buy a condo on Oahu to be close to my son. Now, while interests rates and prices are going up. Likely I don't have a lot of years left. I'm not going to sink a lot into a condo only to have another housing crash. I found a condo I can afford & accepts my dog and still have $$ to leave to the kid. I just found out that my agent who told me that the unit wasn't available was wrong. I contacted the seller's agent. I would have been accepted if I made an offer yesterday.

Just ranting....

[Kriselda Gray]

I'm trying to buy a condo on Oahu to be close to my son. Now, while interests rates and prices are going up. Likely I don't have a lot of years left. I'm not going to sink a lot into a condo only to have another housing crash. I found a condo I can afford & accepts my dog and still have $$ to leave to the kid. I just found out that my agent who told me that the unit wasn't available was wrong. I contacted the seller's agent. I would have been accepted if I made an offer yesterday.

Just ranting....

That just sucks. I'm sorry to hear you're having problems like that!

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

WTF!!!!

[Fortinbras]

I am terrified of a disabling illness, such as dementia or a stroke. Among relatives and acquaintances the financial and emotional stress when a loved one is hospitalized/rehabbed/nursed and tended is unspeakable. Right now an elderly cousin-in-law has survived a near fatal stroke but six months later he's still completely paralyzed and unable to communicate and the bills are bankrupting his loving family. I am leaving instructions that if I should be in that sort of condition someone is authorized is put a pillow over my face, but I doubt anyone would do it.

[AndyinPA]

I'm so sorry, Lani.

[MN-Skeptic]

Speaking of end of life expenses...

I was helping my physician-brother's wife prepare their taxes this past week and the subject of long term care insurance came up. My brother and his wife started paying for long term care insurance shortly after my SIL's father passed away. It's something like $9K/year. My brother is 61, his wife is 57. My SIL asked if they should continue paying for that. I just don't know. I'm tempted to tell them to drop it. It's one thing when my brother is still working, but that's going to be a steep price once he retires.