Gregg, when is the 699th gonna take care of Felito?? After their triumphs with The Spork and Robert Laity, we'd like to see Felito get the 699th treatment please.
In addition to the infamous "Lyin' Ted", which will come back immediately if he tries to run again, Felito is also called "'Fat Wolverine". From an ABC News story about his book, “A Time For Truth"
here's the story of Felito's name.
Ted Is Actually Not His Real Name
When he was 13, Cruz decided to change his name to “Ted.” Born Rafael Edward Cruz, he’d gone by the nickname “Felito” most of his life. Cruz describes the nickname often resulted in him being teased. He refers to that time of his life as a time where he was an “unpopular nerd.”
“The problem with that name was that it seemed to rhyme with every major corn chip on the market. Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos and Tostitos- a fact that other young children were quite happy to point out,” Cruz wrote.
Cruz wrote that his mother gave him the idea to change his name: “‘Ted’ immediately felt like me. But my father was furious with the decision. He viewed it as a rejection of him and his heritage, which was not my intention.”
Here's another little-known FelitoFact:
He Watched ‘Hard-Core’ Porn with Supreme Court Justices
Yes, you read that right. While clerking for Chief Justice William Rehnquist, a then 26-year-old Cruz watched porn with Rehnquist and Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. “We were in front of a large computer screen gazing at explicit, hard-core pornography,” Cruz wrote. The Supreme Court was considering a case about regulating the online world of pornography. Court librarians had set up a tutorial to help the justices and clerks understand how accessible and pervasive online porn is. In the book, Cruz describes the justices’ reaction to the naughty images on their computer screen: "A slew of hard-core, explicit images showed up onscreen. As we watched these graphic pictures fill our screens, wide-eyed, no one said a word. Except for Justice O'Connor, who lowered her head, squinted slightly, and muttered, 'Oh, my.'"
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/things- ... d=32165453
"Who wants to watch some hard-core porn with Felito?" via Google Translate is "¿Quién quiere ver porno duro con Felito?"
And on the topic title:
felito | fe'lētō
noun (pl. felitos)
a fellatio given to a man with a small penis: Ted was hung like a Tic-Tac, so he couldn't really receive a fellatio; it was more of a felito.
s titular Mama June in Fogbow's Favourite Show™ Mama June: From Not To Hot! Fogbow's Theme Song™ Edith Massey's "I Got The Evidence!" 
Well done. I was waiting for that! 
