Justice with Lt Col Root Beer, Lt Biscuit & the 699th Airborne Assault Dachshund Regiment based at Der Dachshundbünker

[Luke]

Great photo!

I can see a successful planning session for upcoming missions. I think Luke was right. It was the 699th that got the immunity decision moving!

You're right! That classified photo is from a VICTORY PARTY for the 699th!

Background: In the shadowy corridors of power, a daring gamble was underway to obtain a classified photograph of the 699th leadership. A source from the Fogbow Press Pool had taken the audacious risk of circumventing security. After a covert operation by the enigmatic Qbawl, a chance emerged to record the secret gathering.

The path to discovery was as unconventional as it was unexpected - a trail of Pup-peroni treats scattered down the labyrinthine hallways. It was a breadcrumb trail in the most literal sense, leading to the heart of the operation.

The 699th, a unit known more for their silence than their words, remained tight-lipped. Their terse "NO COMMENT" echoed in the halls, a stark refusal to confirm or deny the existence of any upcoming operations or meetings.

In the world of puppy espionage, silence can speak volumes. The game is apaw*, and the stakes have never been higher. Frauds and evildoers beware -- The Mighty 699th is more effective and determined than ever!

699th.jpg (403.21 KiB) Viewed 535 times

* h/t TRL xox

Love you, Gregg! Over the moon happy with your progress!

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

Should you say “the game is apaw” or perhaps “the game is afeet”?

Thanks for the Sherlock Holmesian reference and the ever so accurate reporting of all things Imperial Illuminati!

[Luke]

Absolutely true, the game is apaw! Took a chance to reveal so much about the backstory of the photo. If you don't see any more posts from me, activate GREEN playbook and flee the USA immediately.

[jemcanada2]

Absolutely true, the game is apaw! Took a chance to reveal so much about the backstory of the photo. If you don't see any more posts from me, activate GREEN playbook and flee the USA immediately.

[johnpcapitalist]

Great news. Let me know where I can send him a wrench so he can practice tightening transmission bolts. He looks like he'll be back at work in no time!

[RVInit]

I am so happy to see you and two of the best doggone doggies in the world. That is a great photo of the three of you.

[Volkonski]

Dachshunds under threat as Germany proposes ban on breeding

https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/27/europe/g ... index.html

The draft bill, published in February and currently being considered by the authorities, was introduced as part of the Animal Protection Act, which seeks to strengthen existing laws on so-called “torture breeding,” the German government said.

The document said it could ban the reproduction of breeds prone to particular problems, such as the frequent spinal issues seen in dogs with short legs and a long back.

According to the German Kennel Club (VDH), other national favorites like the German shepherd and schnauzer, and even Snoopy himself, the beagle, could also be affected.

History has seen many famous lovers of the low-slung but feisty dachshund, or “dackel” as it’s known in German.

Napoleon Bonaparte owned several dachshunds, and Germany’s last emperor, Kaiser Wilhelm II, had a headstone erected for his dackel, “Erdmann.”

The painter Pablo Picasso was photographed with his dachshund, Lump, who inspired the artist’s famous line drawing “Le Chien.”

A dachshund even became the first official mascot for the Olympic Games – in Germany, of course – when organizers unveiled Waldi the Dachshund for the 1972 Summer Olympics.

“The sausage dog is part of Germany’s cultural heritage,” Marion Michelet, chairwoman from the Deutscher Teckelklub Berlin-Brandenburg kennel club and owner of a dachshund called Pepper, told CNN Wednesday. “The sausage dog is not inbred just because it is small and has short legs.”

Michelet added that she believes “the new draft law is exaggerated… and is aimed against breeding as a whole.”

The VDH has launched a petition to save “our favorite dogs,” arguing the reform would leave too much room for interpretation in determining what constitutes a genetic defect.

[Luke]

We may never hear again from Marion Michelet, chairwoman from the Deutscher Teckelklub Berlin-Brandenburg kennel club after she told CNN: “The sausage dog is not inbred just because it is small and has short legs.”

Marion should be on notice that the quiet wop wop wop of helicopters followed by the soft ***poof*** of tiny parachutes opening are still as likely as not to be ferocious sausage dogs deploying to deal death to all who oppose them.

[Luke]

The 699th has been keeping this on ice but a press release slipped through, amazing to get any kind of comment from the 699th Airborne Assault Dachshund Regiment based at Der Dachshundbünker.

NEW: https://air.bark.co/

BARK Air promises “white paw service” during its long-haul flights, including calming aids for pooches like music, warm lavender-scented refreshment towels, and pheromones, among other comforts. Treats, noise-canceling ear muffs, and calming jackets will also be on hand as part of BARK’s “Dogs Fly First” flight prep.

Bark.JPG (144.29 KiB) Viewed 237 times

Luxury Airline Announced To Make Traveling Easier For Dogs

BARK-Air, a new luxury airline, was announced Thursday and intends to make air travel easier for dogs. BARK, a “dog-centric company,” is known for providing pups with treats, food, toys and care, according to a press release. They have since embarked on a new campaign: air travel. “Traveling long distances with a dog is a challenge many dog parents face, particularly for those dogs that don’t fit into a carrier that can be placed under the seat in front. Too often, dogs are denied travel, confined to a duffle bag, or endure the stress of flying in cargo,” the press release stated.

“Recognizing these challenges, and the increasing demand for an accessible solution, BARK Air presents a more fun – and humane – option for dogs traveling with their two-legged human companions,” the press release added. “BARK Air is the world’s first air travel experience designed specifically for dogs first, and their human companions second, enabling them to travel together comfortably and conveniently,” the press release said.

The airline currently has three routes using Westchester County Airport (HPN) in New York, Van Nuys (VNY) in Los Angeles, and Stansted Airport (STN) in London, England, the release noted. The first BARK-Air flight is set to take off from New York on May 23.

“When we started BARK in 2011, we were on a mission to disrupt the dog space and create products designed for dogs and their humans. We are excited to take the insights we’ve learned over the years to create an experience that is truly dog-first, which is drastically different from just accepting dogs – from the ground to the skies,” the Co-Founder and CEO of BARK, as well as Commander of the 699th Airborne Assault Dachshund Regiment based at Der Dachshundbünker, said in the press release.

“We believe this initiative will elevate awareness of our brand’s mission and values, introduce more dog lovers to the BARK family, and help enrich the lives of dogs and their people around the world.” “We believe this initiative will raise awareness of BARK’s mission in a cost-effective manner,” Root Beer, BARK’s Chief Financial Officer, said in the press release. “Given we are not committed to booking flights far in advance, we have a lot of flexibility to opportunistically charter flights during times of high demand. In parallel, we believe the additional traffic to BARK.co will raise awareness of our full offering, benefiting our core business in the long term.”

A one-way ticket from New York to Los Angeles costs $6,000, according to its website. The ticket is good for one dog and one human companion. Travelers with this airline don’t have to go through airport security like a normal flight, according to the website. Pups can expect the finest services, including meals, treats, calming jackets, soothing music and noise-canceling ear muffs, according to the press release. Dogs will also “be served their beverage of choice” during takeoff and landing to ensure there is no discomfort caused by changes in cabin pressure.

[Foggy]

Are you telling me that for $6,000 my dog doesn't even get to sniff another dog's butt? He's a dog, okay? He doesn't want no warm lavender-scented refreshment towels, he wants to snoof another dog's butt! Where's the luxury service?