Poor Ol' Rooster

[realist]

But if you did develop a heart problem, it would be better to find it sooner rather than later. Yes/no?

[Foggy]

True dat. However, since I am, in fact, Batman and since I have no heart problems at present (and jeazess, haven't I seen enough doctors this year), I think I shall wait until there is some noticeable change in my ticker.

Besides, I play with magnets a lot. And other scientific toys, you gotta see my collection of spinning tops - magnesium, titanium, nickel, copper, and - the heavy one - tungsten.

Oh, yeah, magnets. You don't want them around pacemakers. I still have a magnet that is embedded in a piece of wood that says:

Albuquerque

With a picture of a caballero and some other New Mexican stuff. My friend realist gave me that in Phoenix in May 2010, and I held it in my hand while I was writing this post.

I keep it stuck to the lamp over my bed, just so I never forget that Meetup.

[pipistrelle]

Why do you have a cardiologist, hmmm?

[Foggy]

Because viewtopic.php?t=714&start=1475#p221213

They took an EKG in the emergency room, and told me to get an echo cardiogram, which I did, and the results were NO HEART PROBLEM. The doctor started asking about my gastro problems. He couldn't find any heart problems!

So no, I don't need a cardiologist. I need to get outside and use my ticker and keep my heart strong.

But allow me to repeat:

I don't need a follow up appointment to follow up on no heart problems at all. I don't need a freakin' cardiologist if he tells me I have NO HEART PROBLEMS. I think I will continue to see the doctors who are actually treating me for a medical condition.

Do you know how many different doctors there are who also are not treating me for anything? Should I be doing six month follow up appointments with a nephrologist and an eye, nose and throat guy and every other doctor in the world?

I think maybe not. Definitely not.

[Foggy]

They asked my dad, "Who's your cardiologist?"

He gave them a name.

"He died six months ago."

That's my plan, is to outlive my doctors. My daddy's doctor is gone, but his heart is still pumping. It's a good plan, if'n you can pull it off.

[bill_g]

Fitbit has a number of wristwatch products that constantly monitor the heart in various ways.

[Foggy]

I'm gonna make an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon, in case I break a bone or sumpin'. And I definitely need to see a lung cancer doctor since they said I don't have lung cancer. Let's see, how many other conditions that I don't have, should I make doctor's appointments to see all of them?

Is there a FitBit watch that tells if you have broken bones or lung cancer? I have to monitor every possible condition, in case something happpens.

Or maybe I'll just go for a long walk on a crisp and glorious autumnal afternoon, later today. After fizzikal therapy at 11, of course. They're actually treating me for something, and getting results. Unlike my cardiologist, who doesn't get results because he isn't treating me for anything.

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

Can the FitBit tell you if you’re pregnant?

[Foggy]

Oh man, I forgot to get an OB-GYN, too also! I need a six month follow up to tell me if I'm pregnant.

This is gonna be great. I can always use some good news about my medical condition.

Orthopedic surgeon: "No, you still don't have any broken bones. See you in six months."

Oncologist: "No, you still don't have lung cancer. See you in six months."

OB-GYN: "No, you're still not pregnant. See you in six months."

Cardiologist: "No, you still don't have any heart problems. See you in six months."

This is not how my life is going. But that's all good news.

I did see my gastroenterologist yesterday, as a matter of fact. I am not ignoring my health. She has finally resolved my vomiting attacks, after an endoscopy and a colonoscopy and trying a couple new drugs. I had a medical problem, and she is treating me for it, and we have a plan.

The plan is, I will call her if I get sick. Otherwise, I will just get refills of the drugs she's giving me. No "see you in six months". If I'm not sick, all I need is refills. If I get sick again, I'll call her.

But this whole idea that once I've seen a doctor, who found nothing wrong within his specialty, then I'm tied to him for life and he gets to call me every six months for following up on nothing wrong with me? Enn Oh spells NO. If I have a heart problem, I'll call him.

That's the usual way of dealing with medical issues.

[bill_g]

No worries. Forget I said anything.

[pipistrelle]

You said, “my cardiologist.”

Words matter.

I don’t have a cardiologist.

[pipistrelle]

Can the FitBit tell you if you’re pregnant?

Apple Health will tell you about gait irregularities.

[Foggy]

Is that the first sign of pregnancy? Gait irregularities?

Maybe I do need a gynecologist! I get those, like when I turn an ankle or sumpin'.

[Foggy]

You said, “my cardiologist.”

Words matter.

I don’t have a cardiologist.

Almost missed that. Yeah, I have a cardiologist if I need one.

He said I don't need one. I explained that very clearly above.

What is he treating me for? A possible problem that turned out not to be a problem.

Then he called me for an appointment. Yeah, if he comes to my house, maybe.

I'm a refugee from the 20th century. In the 20th century, doctors never called people to come in for an unscheduled "followup" for zero medical problems.

[Foggy]

NO ONE IS COUNTING, but today marks ten weeks exactly since the most recent grand opening of my left shoulder, which was the culmination ( ) of the really, seriously bad, no darn good medical nightmares I've gone through this year.

That includes the four major surgical procedures I had this spring and summer (two shoulder replacements, a reduction of two dislocated shoulders, and a revision of one of them), in addition to the vomiting attacks that had me in the ER for Easter weekend. It has been a terrible, terrible year, EXCEPT for the lovely ol' Wifehorn, who has keep me partially sane and occasionally lucid.

Today, however, I am feeling pretty good, and I have no doctor's appointments. So let's see what I can get done in this pop stand.

[Foggy]

Found in a box of stuff my dad included with the microwave instructions. I used to be cute, I have proof!

[June bug]

Found in a box of stuff my dad included in a box with the microwave instructions. I used to be cute, I have proof!

You sure do, but who’s the ugly kid standing next to you?

[Foggy]

[Foggy]

That's Sally sitting on the ground next to me. Before Sally, we had a German Shepherd named Monty, but Monty was my loyal friend and protector (with a great deal of prescience, in fact), who tried to eat my little brother when he was born. Didn't want me facing the competition. Maybe knew the baby would grow up to be a jerk. My dad had to save the baby from the dog, and that was the end of Monty.

When Sally joined the fambly, there were already two kids, one of whom was still a baby (not shown in the photo ), so she didn't mind so much when my parents added three more babies. She lived a good long life with us.

[Maybenaut]

Was that picture taken before or after you fell down the well?

[Slim Cognito]

Was that picture taken before or after you fell down the well?

[realist]

Was that picture taken before or after you fell down the well?

[Estiveo]

Was that picture taken before or after you fell down the well?

[sad-cafe]

I think you were a very cute little boy!

[Foggy]

Was that picture taken before or after you fell down the well?

I think you can figger that out by looking at the shoes.

Are they the greatest, or not? I probably couldn't get away with wearing those shoes today.

I can't remember what they were called. Saddle shoes?

I'm dressed up for Sunday school, probably in Coronado, California about 1955 or '56, and even back then I knew how to rock a pair of cotton shorts. The rest of the outfit leaves me cold, but the shoes and the shorts are the bomb.

And I didn't use hair gel or bronzer or nuffin' like that. They didn't even have stuff like that, back then. That is pure natural cuteness, is what it is.