Religious Humour
Religious Humour
IIRC, that's the Protestant version.
"Choose your leaders with wisdom and forethought. To be led by a coward is to be controlled by all that the coward fears… To be led by a liar is to ask to be told lies." -Octavia E. Butler
Religious Humour
They just add "For thine is the Kingdom etc" The part before that is the same as I've always said. I think it sounds great, to be honest.
And lets just add some REAL "Christian rock..."
And lets just add some REAL "Christian rock..."
Hic sunt dracones
- Foggy
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Religious Humour
That's because I was raised Episcopalian.
I'm Foggy and I forget if I approved this message.
- northland10
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Religious Humour
Well, there's your problem.
It would also explain the Scotch, or other libation of your choice as we don't like to judge, except for crap beer, or improper swinging of the thurible, or sitting when you should stand or standing when you should kneel, or forgetting to properly genuflect or...
101010
Religious Humour
X-posting
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him First Communion and Confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an I.V. drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he proclaimed, "WELL, Brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising JEE-zus!"
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was laying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with I.V.s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
The rabbi said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him First Communion and Confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an I.V. drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he proclaimed, "WELL, Brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising JEE-zus!"
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was laying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with I.V.s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
The rabbi said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
Hic sunt dracones
- Tiredretiredlawyer
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Religious Humour
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.