Jokes

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AndyinPA
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Re: Jokes

#276

Post by AndyinPA »

Groan. :biggrin:


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Re: Jokes

#277

Post by bill_g »

The guy at the furniture store told me this couch would seat five people without any problems.

I don't think I know five people without any problems.


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Re: Jokes

#278

Post by pjhimself »

No politics please, just a joke from yesteryear:
(Don’t know where YouTube finds this stuff)



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Re: Jokes

#279

Post by Flatpoint High »

301559819_10166364430255398_6022891661476860229_n.jpg
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castigat ridendo mores. oh, and
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Re: Jokes

#280

Post by Danraft »

Omg.
Zee Y was my ex.
She knocked me flat…


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Re: Jokes

#281

Post by bill_g »

My friend was showing me his tool shed, and he pointed to a ladder.
"That's my step ladder" he said.
"I never knew my real ladder."


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Re: Jokes

#282

Post by raison de arizona »

kim @KimmyMonte wrote: my glass coffin company “remains to be seen” is not doing as well as i thought it would.


"Take these seeds and put them in your pocket, so at least sunflowers will grow when you all die here."
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raison de arizona
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#283

Post by raison de arizona »

Image


"Take these seeds and put them in your pocket, so at least sunflowers will grow when you all die here."
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#284

Post by pipistrelle »

I dunno about everyone else but I get a receipt via email for my vote-by-mail ballot.


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#285

Post by raison de arizona »

pipistrelle wrote: Mon Oct 03, 2022 4:12 pm I dunno about everyone else but I get a receipt via email for my vote-by-mail ballot.
In AZ you can opt in to text or email alerts, or you can just go to a website they have where you plug in your voter information and it tells you whether they’ve counted a ballot from you or not. :shrug:


"Take these seeds and put them in your pocket, so at least sunflowers will grow when you all die here."
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sugar magnolia
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Jokes

#286

Post by sugar magnolia »

raison de arizona wrote: Mon Oct 03, 2022 3:38 pm Image
Is this a joke or a real tweet?


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Mrich
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#287

Post by Mrich »

sugar magnolia wrote: Mon Oct 03, 2022 4:22 pm
raison de arizona wrote: Mon Oct 03, 2022 3:38 pm Image
Is this a joke or a real tweet?
Real tweet:


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#288

Post by keith »

[tweet][/tweet]


The trouble with Senator Long is that he is suffering from halitosis of the intellect. That's presuming Senator Long has an intellect. - Harold L. Ickes. Secretary of the Interior under F.D. Roosevelt
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#289

Post by raison de arizona »

Image


"Take these seeds and put them in your pocket, so at least sunflowers will grow when you all die here."
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#290

Post by poplove »

4AD294D7-37DE-4394-AA14-BC8FC1E3E9A0.jpeg
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Jokes

#291

Post by pjhimself »



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Jokes

#292

Post by Shizzle Popped »

C26E9019-599B-4B26-89DC-46FE5BE4EA5E.png
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"Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write."
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raison de arizona
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#293

Post by raison de arizona »

https://twitter.com/Saadia___M/status/1 ... 2781441024
Saadia @Saadia___M wrote: I just heard someone call Texas the land of gun care and health control; never heard something more true.


"Take these seeds and put them in your pocket, so at least sunflowers will grow when you all die here."
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#294

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

Ima stealing that "You have a wife?"! :mrgreen:


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#295

Post by Shizzle Popped »

7A155E98-C6E4-4254-9EE6-52B7A7A1D866.png
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"Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write."
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#296

Post by Shizzle Popped »

645F034C-93D9-4AD6-8F74-63FE1C06885A.png
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"Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write."
John Adams
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#297

Post by Shizzle Popped »

071A5793-CAF5-4AA1-B1ED-D7829C91A1D8.png
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"Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write."
John Adams
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#298

Post by Shizzle Popped »

54F55F21-37E3-4B44-BB12-9326F581030D.png
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"Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write."
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AndyinPA
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#299

Post by AndyinPA »

Cute.


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RVInit
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#300

Post by RVInit »

Shizzle Popped wrote: Tue Nov 22, 2022 7:30 pm 645F034C-93D9-4AD6-8F74-63FE1C06885A.png
:lol:


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