Weird Headlines

[RTH10260]

fun factor

[Gregg]

I read somewhere that the problem is that their insurance didn't cover "acts of God" which, if true, would be really hilarious.

In the insurance biznis, if you want to increase the scope of your coverage you can sometimes get a "rider" that alters the terms of the policy. Like, you can get flood coverage, even though it's arguable that most floods are acts of God. Not the ones where the terrorists blow up the levee, but y'know ...

Anyway, I don't think you can get a rider to cover all the different possible "acts of God" because if God decides to kick your ass, he has quite a range of options, and no insurance company wants that kind of risk on their books.

ZGod could bankrupt the insurance company so they couldn't pay the claim!

[Gregg]

fun factor

and that's how Geckos learned to swim.

[raison de arizona]

I read somewhere that the problem is that their insurance didn't cover "acts of God" which, if true, would be really hilarious.

In the insurance biznis, if you want to increase the scope of your coverage you can sometimes get a "rider" that alters the terms of the policy. Like, you can get flood coverage, even though it's arguable that most floods are acts of God. Not the ones where the terrorists blow up the levee, but y'know ...

Anyway, I don't think you can get a rider to cover all the different possible "acts of God" because if God decides to kick your ass, he has quite a range of options, and no insurance company wants that kind of risk on their books.

Those ones fall under the "acts of terrorism" exclusion, of course.

[Phoenix520]

and that's how Geckos learned to swim.

[northland10]

fun factor

I prayed to God, doG, and the flying spaghetti monster (always keep options open) to get rid of that lizard with a Brit accent and see what happened. Prayer works.

[Gregg]

Egads, the Gecko is Australian. Even a one armed transmission mechanic from Argillite Kentucky can tell that accent.

[northland10]

Apparently, not one that has been fighting a sinus infection recently.

[raison de arizona]

Harrow schoolboy died from single punch after telling club promoter: 'You'll work for me one day'

[Suranis]

Dress ordered online arrives looking like a granny nighty covered in Vaginas

[northland10]

Dress ordered online arrives looking like a granny nighty covered in Vaginas

It does not look to me like, um, a bunch of fannies but my knowledge on that subject is very limited. I would say it looks a bit more like kidneys which would make a wonderful smock while eating steak and kidney pie.

The sewing job looks like something I could have done. That is not a complement.

The blue or maybe the purple may have been a slightly better choice. Still looks like a kidney or a baby in a womb.

[RTH10260]

A disorientated brown bear cub thought to be intoxicated on so-called "mad honey", has been rescued in Turkey's north-western Duzce province.

► Show Spoiler

• Key points:
  The confused young bear is thought to have eaten too much of a special local honey
  The honey's natural hallucinogenic effects have been documented for thousands of years
  The bear is predicted to make a full recovery and will be released back into the wild

A video posted online showed the young female bear wobbling and whining in the back of a ute after being rescued from the forest.

"Mad honey", or "deli bal" in Turkish, is produced by bees from a certain type of rhododendron, and can have hallucinogenic effects.

The bear was taken to a vet, where it received treatment.

Authorities said the bear was in otherwise good condition and was likely to be released back into the wild in the next few days.

Turkey's agriculture ministry called on people on Twitter to come up with a name for the bear.

Mad honey originated in Turkey's Black Sea region and is produced in small quantities by beekeepers in the Kaçkar mountains.

It is legal to buy and sell in most countries, and attracts high prices.

Small amounts can cause light-headedness, feelings of euphoria and even hallucinations.

Too much, however, can cause dangerous blood pressure drops, nausea, fainting, seizures, arrhythmia and in rare cases, death.

The strange effects of mad honey have been documented for thousands of years.

Greek philosopher and military leader Xenophon described the impact of eating mad honey on soldiers during an expedition in 401 BC.

"The number of bee-hives was extraordinary, and all the soldiers that ate of the combs, lost their senses ... none of them were able to stand upright," he wrote.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-08-12/ ... /101326312

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

I resemble that physical state. Poor brown bear. This gives new meaning to the book Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

download (4).jpeg (10.61 KiB) Viewed 1301 times

[Uninformed]

The day you hit what would have been a hole in one.

“Climate activists fill golf holes with cement after water ban exemption”:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-62532840

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

Firstborn son couldn't talk to his mother yesterday because he was practicing his golf swing. Damned elitists!

[RTH10260]

Man, 44, charged with mobility scooter murder of 87-year-old

No mobility scooter got murdered, nor was the mobility scooter the murder weapon

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/pa/ar ... loran.html

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

https://www.cnet.com/science/climate/wi ... s-one-day/

Wind Turbine Blades Could Be Recycled Into Gummy Bears One Day

Even wind power -- arguably the most established way to generate eco-friendly energy -- has an Achilles' heel. Each tower is topped with enormous turbine blades that get replaced every so often, which means a hefty amount of old equipment must be disposed of. And in recent years, experts have debated whether such disposal meets environmentally friendly criteria.

Simply, the worry is whether wind turbine blades are recyclable. If not, perhaps dumping retired blades in landfills sort of negates the system's presumed sustainability in the first place. But it's a tough situation. These blades are typically made of fiberglass, a material really hard to cut through, transport and repurpose into other things.

Though some scientists have had success recycling the energy-catching tool, such as US startup Global Fiberglass Solutions, which used them to create 3D-printing feedstock, statistics still show that most of the time, these artifacts are just tossed into a landfill, therefore adding to piles of trash that emanate harmful gasses into the atmosphere and encroach on natural wildlife habitats. Why? It's ultimately cheaper.

But on Monday, scientists from Michigan State University offered their blueprints of an innovative way to address this issue. They developed a new form of wind turbine material that combines glass fibers with both plant-derived and synthetic polymers, which refer to long chains of molecules. The mixture is called a composite resin, and its hype lies in the fact that it can be recycled a lot more easily than pure fiberglass can.

Oh, and here's the best part: It can also be turned into delicious gummy bears.

► Show Spoiler

"We recovered food-grade potassium lactate and used it to make gummy bear candies, which I ate," Dorgan said. Not a Haribo fan? This chemical can also be made into sports drinks akin to Gatorade.

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/ma ... smsnnews11

Man Admits Faking Death To Avoid Sex Abuse Charges

MOBILE, Ala. (AP) — A military veteran pleaded guilty in federal court Monday to faking his own death off the Alabama coast to try to avoid sexual abuse charges in Mississippi.

Jacob Blair Scott pleaded guilty to charges of sending a false distress call that led to a Coast Guard search, illegally shipping weapons across state lines and giving false information, according to court records.

A federal judge will sentence Scott in November. He was already sentenced to serve 85 years in prison in Mississippi after he was convicted of sexually assaulting a girl and impregnating her when he was 40 and she was 14.

Scott was facing charges of assaulting the girl when he faked his death in July 2018. The Orange Beach Police Department responded to a call for assistance and found a small boat in the Gulf of Mexico, about a mile away from shore, with a gun tied to it. The dinghy was empty except for a suicide note.

Authorities searched for a body for more than a week in the Gulf of Mexico.

Scott was captured in early 2020 at an RV park in Oklahoma, where he was living under another name.

A Mississippi jury in June convicted him of multiple sexual battery and child abuse charges.

GRUESOME ALERT!!!! SPECIFICS OF THE CHARGES

► Show Spoiler

According to the Sun-Herald, the victim tearfully testified at the trial about how Scott had sexually assaulted her at least 30 times over several months beginning in 2016 and ending in 2017 when she learned she was pregnant.

Scott is a military veteran who was awarded a Purple Heart in 2011 for injuries he received while deployed in Iraq, according to the U.S. Marshals Service, which had once listed him as one of its 15 most-wanted

[Phoenix520]

No mobility scooter got murdered, nor was the mobility scooter the murder weapon

Well, it’s the Daily Mail. What did you expect?

[raison de arizona]

Fugitive, a pallbearer, fatally shot at his father's funeral

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fugitive-p ... s-funeral/

[Azastan]

Fugitive, a pallbearer, fatally shot at his father's funeral

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fugitive-p ... s-funeral/

Slightly different version from this one:

https://www.wowktv.com/news/man-dead-af ... eral-home/

[Uninformed]

“Sgt Gavin Hillier shot dead by soldier with 'poor eyesight'”:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-62705206

“An army sergeant was shot and killed when he was mistaken for a target by a soldier with "poor eyesight", an inquiry has found.
Sgt Gavin Hillier died during a live fire exercise at Castlemartin base in Pembrokeshire on 4 March 2021.
The inquiry found a contributory factor was that the soldier, referred to as Guardsman 1, was not wearing prescription lenses at the time.”

[raison de arizona]

Speeding woman on cocaine kills drunk driver high on meth in North Las Vegas, police say

[Gregg]

It's like when the Browns play the Steelers, someone is gonna lose, and you're not sure you care who...

[raison de arizona]

Goat named Billy ‘in custody’ for property damage, peeing on Maricopa County sheriff’s deputy