Happiness is subjective, no?

[John Thomas8]

There's days when your kid hasn't filed false police reports against you, or you didn't wreck on the way to work, or you didn't get tased for speeding? Do those non-events make one happy?

I think maybe living as a steady state is neutral, not happy, not sad. I think happiness/sadness are driven by external inputs (mostly, there are mental conditions that preclude this) so some days I'm happy because my knees didn't fail to keep me standing and there's days I'm sad because my knees forgot their job as I walked around the grocery store. But those are external inputs. My favourite sportsball team wins? Great! They lose, maybe not so great. Wandering through youtube and find I song I forgot but is excellent? Great! See another political guntoober babble like a crack monkey, maybe not so great. Sigh.

Maybe I have one of those mental conditions that preclude happiness. I won't rule it out.

[SuzieC]

What is happiness? As I have turned 70, my mantra is things I can look forward to. It can be little things. My fitness class tomorrow morning. Or big things. My son will be here for Thanksgiving, and I have tickets for the OSU-Michigan game. Or big things. Trip to Tuscany in September 2023.

In great things, it is the downfall of Great Orange Asshole.

[John Thomas8]

I've given up on America. I gave 12.5 years of my life wearing its uniform and deploying to places where the natives took shots at us, it wasn't fun and working through the vacuous shitstorm that is the VA is maddening. My son did Kosovo, Iraq and Afghanistan and I'm out $20k in lawyer fees trying to get him help.

I expect that the orange one doesn't pay for a single thing it's done, it never has and it never will.

But the past 3.5 months are the worst of my almost 61 years on this rock and there isn't a visible end to it without a lottery win.

[Patagoniagirl]

You may not believe me,.but I get it. Over and.over. I'm gonna try some of then meditaotion shit. Can't hurt. Free on youtune thingy.

[John Thomas8]

You may not believe me,.but I get it. Over and.over. I'm gonna try some of then meditaotion shit. Can't hurt. Free on youtune thingy.

thaeditaotion brought up Tracy Chapman songs. I like Tracy's music, but I'm fairly certain that's not what you were suggesting.

[Phoenix520]

A regular gratitude practice alongside meditation is helpful, especially first thing in the morning. Kinda puts the important things in the light, sets you up for the day. Be a Pollyanna, focus on the warm fuzzies for a day every once in a while and let the déplorables be deplorable and the world go to hell in a hand basket without your attention.

[John Thomas8]

This isn't about the orange moron.

It's more than that, and the mess my life has become.

I be needing about $1 million dollars for lawyer/investigator so I can crush an ex-family member that has gotten on drugs and decided to lie their ass off.

I am aware that vengeance isn't useful, but I'm going to have it anyway.

[John Thomas8]

Rant mode enabled:

Spent 2021-2022 saving up for surgery for Logan, got hosed by incompetent lawyering in July 2022 by a shitstain and it's peanut butter fucking convict side kick and couldn't get him his surgery. Spent 2022-2023 re-saving up for Logan's surgery and again that whorish shitstain mutt and the peanut butter fucking convict made us spend that on another set of lawyers.

Mr Logan passed over the rainbow bridge today ONLY because a certain shitty diseased fucknut moron ex-daughter needed to feel the joy of making others miserable instead of saving our boy.

May she rot in hell after dying of a painful incurable disease.

[raison de arizona]

So sorry for your loss. Just be sure you aren’t taking the poison, expecting the other person to die. It’ll eat you up.

[John Thomas8]

If we find some $ or win the lottery it is getting crushed. I intend to make it homeless until it dies.

Until then, I gotta take care of me heart and pay attention at work.

[June bug]

So sorry for your loss. Just be sure you aren’t taking the poison, expecting the other person to die. It’ll eat you up.

Truth. My situation didn’t include malevolent family, sick and twisted neighbors instead, so I know it doesn’t compare. Two of my fur babies “disappeared” within 6 months of each other, just about certainly not by accident. That left a huge and ongoing hole in my heart, but I had to walk away from the hate to find any peace. I hope you can too.

[Suranis]

I have a book called happy. It more or less explores what people thought happiness was over the milinia we have been spiralling around this little rock. ANd theres actually very little agreement on what happiness means.

To some happiness and fulfilment comes from a marraige and a family. A maraige that you work hard at but you receive so much back in return

In the Greeks, there were mor or less 2 schools of thought. The Stoics thought that Happiness meant not chasing the trappings of wealth but living simply. And using that energy time you save to accomplish things.

That's very similar to the Buddha's core message. And Karl Marx also said that the concept of ownership has lead to untold misery for humanity.

On the other end of the scale you had the Epicurians, who believed that happiness lay in indulgence in all the pleasures of life. But even they taught that doing it to excess left one miserable.

Stoics and Epicurians were actually quite friendly to one another for the most part as they both recognized the other had a point.

For some people happiness is satisfying work.

In modern times happiness is the amount of followers you have. Or following the latest stupid tweet from a celeb. The Fire Festival disaster was predicated by people wanting to have that thing it promised. Namely attractive people and celebs around you having a party.

Another thought its seeing your enemies driven before you, hearing the Lamentation of their Women and feeling the wind in your hair. Oh wait, that's just Conan.

[Foggy]

Yeah, sorry about Logan, John.

Regarding happiness in general, yes, it is 100% subjective

I think maybe the subject here is really, how do you handle it when someone else really impacts your happiness in a bad way? That's something we all struggle with at some time in our lives.

Sometimes you can even see it coming. My dad is getting near the end, and his death is going to affect my happiness, I promise you. Nothing I can do to help. A man like him, a truly good man, shouldn't have to die in the first place, but I can't do anything except try to prepare.

And I often allow my happiness to be affected by anger, too also. Not just loss.

I don't have a solution. If I think about it, the best thing I can do to get through something like this is to stay bizzy. Just keep moving forward on something, anything. I see AndyinPA, who lost her husband this year, and I don't know how she does what she does to keep moving forward, but wow. I know she grieves horribly. She still manages to find some happiness. Partly because of her son, and grandkids. Look at P'girl and MN-Skeptic, who both lost their husbands and still find happiness in life. Look at realist, who lost the Princess and managed to find a way through that.

I don't know how they do it.

If ol' Wifehorn died, you won't be saying "Wow, it looks like he's going to be OK." I won't be.

But for small things that ruin my mood, keeping bizzy is the only thing I ever found that can restore my wa.

[p0rtia]

I'm so sorry, JT. Glad you shared that, though. I hope the day is kind to you.

[John Thomas8]

I think everyone needs an outlet to vent, problems are always going to be from the observer's prospective.

It's been a bad 30+ years, really. There's been highlights, but attempting raise and then deal with somebody with NPD that flat out refuses to get any sort of treatment is debilitating. It was the hand we were dealt and we'll (me, my wife and son) will continue to cope as best we can.