Weird Headlines

User avatar
RTH10260
Posts: 17308
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:16 am
Location: Switzerland, near the Alps
Verified: ✔️ Eurobot

Re: Weird Headlines

#251

Post by RTH10260 »

fun factor

User avatar
Gregg
Posts: 5502
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 1:54 am
Location: Cincinnati, Gettysburg
Occupation: We build cars

Re: Weird Headlines

#252

Post by Gregg »

Foggy wrote: Mon Aug 01, 2022 8:13 am
Suranis wrote: Sun Jul 31, 2022 10:44 pm I read somewhere that the problem is that their insurance didn't cover "acts of God" which, if true, would be really hilarious.
In the insurance biznis, if you want to increase the scope of your coverage you can sometimes get a "rider" that alters the terms of the policy. Like, you can get flood coverage, even though it's arguable that most floods are acts of God. Not the ones where the terrorists blow up the levee, but y'know ...

Anyway, I don't think you can get a rider to cover all the different possible "acts of God" because if God decides to kick your ass, he has quite a range of options, and no insurance company wants that kind of risk on their books. :daydreaming:
ZGod could bankrupt the insurance company so they couldn't pay the claim! :dance:
Supreme Commander, Imperial Illuminati Air Force
:dog:

You don't have to consent, but I'm gonna tase you anyway.
User avatar
Gregg
Posts: 5502
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 1:54 am
Location: Cincinnati, Gettysburg
Occupation: We build cars

Re: Weird Headlines

#253

Post by Gregg »

RTH10260 wrote: Mon Aug 01, 2022 12:17 pm fun factor

and that's how Geckos learned to swim.
Supreme Commander, Imperial Illuminati Air Force
:dog:

You don't have to consent, but I'm gonna tase you anyway.
User avatar
raison de arizona
Posts: 20219
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:21 am
Location: Nothing, Arizona
Occupation: bit twiddler
Verified: ✔️ he/him/his

Re: Weird Headlines

#254

Post by raison de arizona »

Foggy wrote: Mon Aug 01, 2022 8:13 am
Suranis wrote: Sun Jul 31, 2022 10:44 pm I read somewhere that the problem is that their insurance didn't cover "acts of God" which, if true, would be really hilarious.
In the insurance biznis, if you want to increase the scope of your coverage you can sometimes get a "rider" that alters the terms of the policy. Like, you can get flood coverage, even though it's arguable that most floods are acts of God. Not the ones where the terrorists blow up the levee, but y'know ...

Anyway, I don't think you can get a rider to cover all the different possible "acts of God" because if God decides to kick your ass, he has quite a range of options, and no insurance company wants that kind of risk on their books. :daydreaming:
Those ones fall under the "acts of terrorism" exclusion, of course.
“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
User avatar
Phoenix520
Posts: 4151
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 1:20 pm
Verified:

Re: Weird Headlines

#255

Post by Phoenix520 »

and that's how Geckos learned to swim.
:lol:
User avatar
northland10
Posts: 6670
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 6:47 pm
Location: Northeast Illinois
Occupation: Organist/Choir Director/Fundraising Data Analyst
Verified: ✅ I'm me.

Re: Weird Headlines

#256

Post by northland10 »

RTH10260 wrote: Mon Aug 01, 2022 12:17 pm fun factor

I prayed to God, doG, and the flying spaghetti monster (always keep options open) to get rid of that lizard with a Brit accent and see what happened. Prayer works.
101010 :towel:
User avatar
Gregg
Posts: 5502
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 1:54 am
Location: Cincinnati, Gettysburg
Occupation: We build cars

Re: Weird Headlines

#257

Post by Gregg »

Egads, the Gecko is Australian. Even a one armed transmission mechanic from Argillite Kentucky can tell that accent.
Supreme Commander, Imperial Illuminati Air Force
:dog:

You don't have to consent, but I'm gonna tase you anyway.
User avatar
northland10
Posts: 6670
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 6:47 pm
Location: Northeast Illinois
Occupation: Organist/Choir Director/Fundraising Data Analyst
Verified: ✅ I'm me.

Re: Weird Headlines

#258

Post by northland10 »

:oopsy: Apparently, not one that has been fighting a sinus infection recently.
101010 :towel:
User avatar
raison de arizona
Posts: 20219
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:21 am
Location: Nothing, Arizona
Occupation: bit twiddler
Verified: ✔️ he/him/his

Re: Weird Headlines

#259

Post by raison de arizona »

“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
User avatar
Suranis
Posts: 6883
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 5:25 pm

Re: Weird Headlines

#260

Post by Suranis »

Hic sunt dracones
User avatar
northland10
Posts: 6670
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 6:47 pm
Location: Northeast Illinois
Occupation: Organist/Choir Director/Fundraising Data Analyst
Verified: ✅ I'm me.

Re: Weird Headlines

#261

Post by northland10 »

It does not look to me like, um, a bunch of fannies but my knowledge on that subject is very limited. I would say it looks a bit more like kidneys which would make a wonderful smock while eating steak and kidney pie.

The sewing job looks like something I could have done. That is not a complement.

The blue or maybe the purple may have been a slightly better choice. Still looks like a kidney or a baby in a womb.
101010 :towel:
User avatar
RTH10260
Posts: 17308
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:16 am
Location: Switzerland, near the Alps
Verified: ✔️ Eurobot

Re: Weird Headlines

#262

Post by RTH10260 »

A disorientated brown bear cub thought to be intoxicated on so-called "mad honey", has been rescued in Turkey's north-western Duzce province.
► Show Spoiler
User avatar
Tiredretiredlawyer
Posts: 8169
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 10:07 pm
Location: Rescue Pets Land
Occupation: 21st Century Suffragist
Verified: ✅🐴🐎🦄🌻5000 posts and counting

Re: Weird Headlines

#263

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

I resemble that physical state. Poor brown bear. This gives new meaning to the book Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
download (4).jpeg
download (4).jpeg (10.61 KiB) Viewed 1303 times
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
Uninformed
Posts: 2275
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 1:13 pm
Location: England

Re: Weird Headlines

#264

Post by Uninformed »

The day you hit what would have been a hole in one.

“Climate activists fill golf holes with cement after water ban exemption”:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-62532840
If you can't lie to yourself, who can you lie to?
User avatar
Tiredretiredlawyer
Posts: 8169
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 10:07 pm
Location: Rescue Pets Land
Occupation: 21st Century Suffragist
Verified: ✅🐴🐎🦄🌻5000 posts and counting

Re: Weird Headlines

#265

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

Firstborn son couldn't talk to his mother yesterday because he was practicing his golf swing. Damned elitists! :biggrin:
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
User avatar
RTH10260
Posts: 17308
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:16 am
Location: Switzerland, near the Alps
Verified: ✔️ Eurobot

Re: Weird Headlines

#266

Post by RTH10260 »

Man, 44, charged with mobility scooter murder of 87-year-old

No mobility scooter got murdered, nor was the mobility scooter the murder weapon :brickwallsmall:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/wires/pa/ar ... loran.html
User avatar
Tiredretiredlawyer
Posts: 8169
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 10:07 pm
Location: Rescue Pets Land
Occupation: 21st Century Suffragist
Verified: ✅🐴🐎🦄🌻5000 posts and counting

Re: Weird Headlines

#267

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

https://www.cnet.com/science/climate/wi ... s-one-day/
Wind Turbine Blades Could Be Recycled Into Gummy Bears One Day

Even wind power -- arguably the most established way to generate eco-friendly energy -- has an Achilles' heel. Each tower is topped with enormous turbine blades that get replaced every so often, which means a hefty amount of old equipment must be disposed of. And in recent years, experts have debated whether such disposal meets environmentally friendly criteria.

Simply, the worry is whether wind turbine blades are recyclable. If not, perhaps dumping retired blades in landfills sort of negates the system's presumed sustainability in the first place. But it's a tough situation. These blades are typically made of fiberglass, a material really hard to cut through, transport and repurpose into other things.

Though some scientists have had success recycling the energy-catching tool, such as US startup Global Fiberglass Solutions, which used them to create 3D-printing feedstock, statistics still show that most of the time, these artifacts are just tossed into a landfill, therefore adding to piles of trash that emanate harmful gasses into the atmosphere and encroach on natural wildlife habitats. Why? It's ultimately cheaper.

But on Monday, scientists from Michigan State University offered their blueprints of an innovative way to address this issue. They developed a new form of wind turbine material that combines glass fibers with both plant-derived and synthetic polymers, which refer to long chains of molecules. The mixture is called a composite resin, and its hype lies in the fact that it can be recycled a lot more easily than pure fiberglass can.

Oh, and here's the best part: It can also be turned into delicious gummy bears.
► Show Spoiler
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
User avatar
Tiredretiredlawyer
Posts: 8169
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 10:07 pm
Location: Rescue Pets Land
Occupation: 21st Century Suffragist
Verified: ✅🐴🐎🦄🌻5000 posts and counting

Re: Weird Headlines

#268

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer »

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/ma ... smsnnews11
Man Admits Faking Death To Avoid Sex Abuse Charges

MOBILE, Ala. (AP) — A military veteran pleaded guilty in federal court Monday to faking his own death off the Alabama coast to try to avoid sexual abuse charges in Mississippi.

Jacob Blair Scott pleaded guilty to charges of sending a false distress call that led to a Coast Guard search, illegally shipping weapons across state lines and giving false information, according to court records.

A federal judge will sentence Scott in November. He was already sentenced to serve 85 years in prison in Mississippi after he was convicted of sexually assaulting a girl and impregnating her when he was 40 and she was 14.

Scott was facing charges of assaulting the girl when he faked his death in July 2018. The Orange Beach Police Department responded to a call for assistance and found a small boat in the Gulf of Mexico, about a mile away from shore, with a gun tied to it. The dinghy was empty except for a suicide note.

Authorities searched for a body for more than a week in the Gulf of Mexico.

Scott was captured in early 2020 at an RV park in Oklahoma, where he was living under another name.

A Mississippi jury in June convicted him of multiple sexual battery and child abuse charges.

GRUESOME ALERT!!!! SPECIFICS OF THE CHARGES
► Show Spoiler
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
User avatar
Phoenix520
Posts: 4151
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 1:20 pm
Verified:

Re: Weird Headlines

#269

Post by Phoenix520 »

No mobility scooter got murdered, nor was the mobility scooter the murder weapon :brickwallsmall:
Well, it’s the Daily Mail. What did you expect?
User avatar
raison de arizona
Posts: 20219
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:21 am
Location: Nothing, Arizona
Occupation: bit twiddler
Verified: ✔️ he/him/his

Re: Weird Headlines

#270

Post by raison de arizona »

Fugitive, a pallbearer, fatally shot at his father's funeral
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fugitive-p ... s-funeral/
“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
User avatar
Azastan
Posts: 1765
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 5:48 pm
Verified:

Re: Weird Headlines

#271

Post by Azastan »

raison de arizona wrote: Fri Aug 26, 2022 10:33 am
Fugitive, a pallbearer, fatally shot at his father's funeral
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fugitive-p ... s-funeral/
Slightly different version from this one:

https://www.wowktv.com/news/man-dead-af ... eral-home/
Uninformed
Posts: 2275
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 1:13 pm
Location: England

Re: Weird Headlines

#272

Post by Uninformed »

“Sgt Gavin Hillier shot dead by soldier with 'poor eyesight'”:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-62705206

“An army sergeant was shot and killed when he was mistaken for a target by a soldier with "poor eyesight", an inquiry has found.
Sgt Gavin Hillier died during a live fire exercise at Castlemartin base in Pembrokeshire on 4 March 2021.
The inquiry found a contributory factor was that the soldier, referred to as Guardsman 1, was not wearing prescription lenses at the time.”
If you can't lie to yourself, who can you lie to?
User avatar
raison de arizona
Posts: 20219
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:21 am
Location: Nothing, Arizona
Occupation: bit twiddler
Verified: ✔️ he/him/his

Re: Weird Headlines

#273

Post by raison de arizona »

“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
User avatar
Gregg
Posts: 5502
Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2021 1:54 am
Location: Cincinnati, Gettysburg
Occupation: We build cars

Re: Weird Headlines

#274

Post by Gregg »

It's like when the Browns play the Steelers, someone is gonna lose, and you're not sure you care who... :rotflmao:
Supreme Commander, Imperial Illuminati Air Force
:dog:

You don't have to consent, but I'm gonna tase you anyway.
User avatar
raison de arizona
Posts: 20219
Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:21 am
Location: Nothing, Arizona
Occupation: bit twiddler
Verified: ✔️ he/him/his

Re: Weird Headlines

#275

Post by raison de arizona »

“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
Post Reply

Return to “The Funny”