Weird Headlines

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pipistrelle
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Re: Weird Headlines

#626

Post by pipistrelle »

There's an intersection between "Weird Headlines" and "The Stupid, It Burns." It's in the Twilight Zone.

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ArthurWankspittle
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Re: Weird Headlines

#627

Post by ArthurWankspittle »

Just not too sure where to put this:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52 ... um=custom7
Trump appoints Incitatus to lead corona virus response.
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Re: Weird Headlines

#628

Post by Foggy »

:like:
For more information, read it again. || When science is outlawed, only outlaws will have science.

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ArthurWankspittle
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Re: Weird Headlines

#629

Post by ArthurWankspittle »

Foggy wrote:
Thu May 21, 2020 12:33 pm
:like:
Better check your robot sex doll hasn't slipped out to watch a soccer match.
Trump appoints Incitatus to lead corona virus response.
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DejaMoo
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Re: Weird Headlines

#630

Post by DejaMoo »

I think this one wins the category for the year.

65-year-old man dies from injuries from having sex with his 81-year-old male relative, police say
https://www.kctv5.com/news/us_world_new ... 00909.html
I've heard this bull before.

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Whatever4
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Re: Weird Headlines

#631

Post by Whatever4 »

This could be a metaphor for our country... a loon killed a bald eagle.

Murder mystery finds Maine loon killed bald eagle

Researchers believe this is the first confirmed case of a loon killing a bald eagle


Investigators believe the death of a bald eagle in Bridgton was a case of self-defense.

In a blog post on the website for the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries & Wildlife, wildlife biologist Danielle D'Auria said the eagle was found floating facedown in Highland Lake last July near the body of a dead baby loon. The bird was pulled from the water and taken to a veterinarian clinic in Norway to be examined and find out if it had been shot.

An examination found a puncture wound in the eagle's chest, but not a bullet hole. It appeared the eagle had been stabbed by the sharp, dagger-like bill of a loon.

Bald eagles are protected by the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act. When an eagle is found dead, their bodies are sent to the National Eagle Repository in Colorado, where parts of the bird can be given to Native Americans for ceremonial purposes. The DI&W got permission from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to send the eagle to the National Wildlife Health Center in Wisconsin, to determine if it had been killed by a loon.

The nation's bald eagle population is returning in greater numbers because of federal protections. With those sharp beaks, loons can dive out of the water and attack predators quickly, striking like a knight with a sword. Many loons have similar healed-over puncture wounds on their bodies after fights with other loons.

After a necropsy, it was found the puncture mark led straight to the heart, killing the eagle quickly. The baby loon chick was also found to have talon marks consistent with a bald eagle. Researchers have seen more eagle and loon confrontations, but have only guessed that a loon could kill an eagle. They had never actually seen such a case, until now.

There were no witnesses to this loon/eagle attack. One woman who lived in a cabin nearby told investigators said she heard a "Hullabaloo" the night before consistent with angry loons.

The loon is believed to be a black and white bird, about 32 inches long, with a 45 inch wingspan and could be seen swimming on lakes in Western Maine.
https://www.wmtw.com/article/murder-mys ... e/32621423
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Re: Weird Headlines

#632

Post by Frater I*I »

:thunbsup:
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qbawl
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Re: Weird Headlines

#633

Post by qbawl »

When I first read the headline I thought it belonged in the "Spawn of Trump" thread but I couldn't make the Maine connection.

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Whatever4
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Re: Weird Headlines

#634

Post by Whatever4 »

Old, but choice.

Man on golf cart blows up neighbor’s yard, tries to kill chickens with homemade whiskey bottle bomb: Cops

A Fort Pierce, Florida, man was arrested Wednesday for allegedly blowing up a neighbor’s backyard to kill their chickens.

TC Palm reported that Scott Frederick Wegener, 55, was arrested after someone warned police that Wegener had detonated a bomb made in a whiskey bottle and was threatening to do it again. The caller supposedly claimed that Wegener accused someone of stealing a BB gun and offered a friend money to climb under the man’s home and plant the IED.

Local police, along with the FBI and ATF, conducted a sweep of Wegener’s home but didn’t find any explosives. Police said a witness, identified as Aaron Dehart, instructed law enforcement to go to a half-mile away to a home where Wegener detonated a device earlier in the week, according to WPTV.

https://www.crimeonline.com/2018/03/19/ ... bomb-cops/
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ArthurWankspittle
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Re: Weird Headlines

#635

Post by ArthurWankspittle »

Trump appoints Incitatus to lead corona virus response.
#KingDonaldsPlague

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Lani
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Re: Weird Headlines

#636

Post by Lani »

This is so Aussie:
When they realised their error, one of the pair said "Sorry, mate" and shook the resident's hand, according to local reports.
:rotflmao:

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Re: Weird Headlines

#637

Post by Dave at Sea »

Lani wrote:
Fri May 29, 2020 2:52 am
This is so Aussie:
When they realised their error, one of the pair said "Sorry, mate" and shook the resident's hand, according to local reports.
:rotflmao:
They are a weird mob...

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Whatever4
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Re: Weird Headlines

#638

Post by Whatever4 »

That’s also a pretty odd business model. :shock:

I am a delicate flower. :swoon:
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Re: Weird Headlines

#639

Post by neonzx »

They had been hired to carry out a client's fantasy of being tied up in his underwear and stroked with a broom.
I'm not sure what "stroked" with a broom means in aussie . Nor am I sure I want to know. :?

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Re: Weird Headlines

#640

Post by Whatever4 »

neonzx wrote:
Fri May 29, 2020 10:50 pm
They had been hired to carry out a client's fantasy of being tied up in his underwear and stroked with a broom.
I'm not sure what "stroked" with a broom means in aussie . Nor am I sure I want to know. :?
DELICATE. FLOWER. :swoon: :swoon:
"[Moderate] doesn't mean you don't have views. It just means your views aren't predictable ideologically one way or the other, and you're trying to follow the facts where they lead and reach your own conclusions."
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Re: Weird Headlines

#641

Post by kate520 »

:lol:
DEFEND DEMOCRACY

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Re: Weird Headlines

#642

Post by Bill_G »

Not The Onion - The Gaurdian writes:

US gun owners aim firearms at their genitals to settle feud within community
Gun owners are taking photos of themselves pointing weapons at their genitals with the safety off – but the trend is far from new for gun enthusiasts

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Re: Weird Headlines

#643

Post by Volkonski »

Cows attack and kill elderly walker in Yorkshire Dales

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/h ... 1590960224
The man and his wife were walking in the Yorkshire Dales when the attack happened at lunchtime on Saturday.

An air ambulance was called and the man was pronounced dead at the scene, at Ivescar, near Ingleton.

His 78-year-old wife, who was badly bruised, was flown to Royal Lancaster Infirmary. She is not thought to be seriously injured.

A police spokeswoman said: “An 82-year-old man, from Foulridge, Pendle, sadly died yesterday after being attacked by a herd of cows.”
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Re: Weird Headlines

#644

Post by RoadScholar »

Time for a Hitchcock remake called The Bovines?
The bitterest truth is healthier than the sweetest lie.
X3

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Suranis
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Re: Weird Headlines

#645

Post by Suranis »

https://twitter.com/WardieJerusalem/sta ... 0099573762
Hazel Ward
@WardieJerusalem
Spanish porn star Nacho Vidal, who likes to advertise his aromatic candles shaped like male genitalia on Twitter, has been arrested on manslaughter charges following a man's death during a mystic ritual in which he inhaled psychedelic toad venom @AFP https://t.co/csPGMAnQOq?amp=1
You do realize that this is why the Aliens wont visit us.
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Re: Weird Headlines

#646

Post by Frater I*I »

Suranis wrote:
Wed Jun 03, 2020 11:28 pm

You do realize that this is why the Aliens wont visit us.
Hell when they pass by Terra, they lock their door, just like some people do when they roll through a ghetto. In our case, we're probably like the trailer park of the galaxy....
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Jcolvin2
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Re: Weird Headlines

#647

Post by Jcolvin2 »

Suranis wrote:
Wed Jun 03, 2020 11:28 pm
https://twitter.com/WardieJerusalem/sta ... 0099573762
Hazel Ward
@WardieJerusalem
Spanish porn star Nacho Vidal, who likes to advertise his aromatic candles shaped like male genitalia on Twitter, has been arrested on manslaughter charges following a man's death during a mystic ritual in which he inhaled psychedelic toad venom @AFP https://t.co/csPGMAnQOq?amp=1
You do realize that this is why the Aliens wont visit us.
Hey. Some of Earth's finest minds believed in the redemptive properties of TOAD:
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/ ... toad-vomit
It is not as bad as suggesting injections of disinfectant. Isaac Newton’s 17th-century prescription for plague – which blended powdered toad with toad vomit to form “lozenges” to drive away the contagion – has been revealed.

Two unpublished pages of Newton’s notes on Jan Baptist van Helmont’s 1667 book on plague, De Peste, are to be auctioned online by Bonham’s this week. Newton had been a student at Trinity College, Cambridge, when the university closed as a precaution against the bubonic plague, which killed 100,000 people in London in 1665 and 1666.

***

Some of Newton’s potential cures recorded are unlikely to be taken up today, however. He writes that “the best is a toad suspended by the legs in a chimney for three days, which at last vomited up earth with various insects in it, on to a dish of yellow wax, and shortly after died. Combining powdered toad with the excretions and serum made into lozenges and worn about the affected area drove away the contagion and drew out the poison.”

***

Despite Newton’s standing, the papers have never previously been included in any collected works. When Newton died in 1727, his huge archive was left to his niece, Catherine Conduitt. It remained in the family until 1872, when his descendant, Isaac Newton Wallop, Fifth Earl of Portsmouth, donated his writings to Trinity College. Cambridge kept only the mathematical and scientific papers and returned Newton’s more controversial writings on alchemy, theology and philosophy. These papers, including Newton’s notes on Van Helmont, were sold in 1936 to private collectors, among them John Maynard Keynes.

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Re: Weird Headlines

#648

Post by Whatever4 »

Welcome to 'Exploding Whale Memorial Park' on the Oregon coast!

FLORENCE, Ore. – Welcome to the newest park on the Oregon coast – Exploding Whale Memorial Park!

The new park is named after the state's decision to blow up a 45-foot, 8-ton whale that washed ashore near Florence in November of 1970.

Nearly 50 years later, the town asked for name suggestions for its new park along Rhododendron Drive.
They asked the public for name suggestions and held a public vote, and the people have spoken.

https://kcby.com/news/local/welcome-to- ... n-florence
I would have voted for Parky McParkface.
"[Moderate] doesn't mean you don't have views. It just means your views aren't predictable ideologically one way or the other, and you're trying to follow the facts where they lead and reach your own conclusions."
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Suranis
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Re: Weird Headlines

#649

Post by Suranis »

Uhhh...
Katie Katro (@KatieKatro6abc)
2 bodies recovered during search for missing swimmers at Murderkill River https://t.co/K426UYA3EP https://t.co/VUZ2oUWOHw
So... if you take a swim in the Mirderkill river... well...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murderkill_River
...remembering how they had been served at the Whore-Kill, they went some ten or twelve miles higher, where they landed again and traded with the Indians, trusting the Indians to come onto their stores ashore, and likewise aboard their sloop drinking and debauching with the Indians until they were at last barbarously murdered, and so that place was christened with their blood and to this day is called the Murderer-Kill, that is, Murderers Creek.[10]
— George R. Stewart, Names on the Land: A Historical Account of Place-Naming in the United States

Dick Carter, Chair of the Delaware Heritage Commission, states that the name of Murderkill River is taken from the original Dutch for Mother River. Mother is moeder in Middle Dutch, and river is Kille. Later, under British rule, the word "River" was added to the waterway's name, effectively making it "mother river river."[9] The term "kill" is used in areas of Dutch influence in the Netherlands' former North American colony of New Netherland, primarily the Hudson and Delaware Valleys to describe a creek, river, tidal inlet, strait, or arm of the, sea such as Bronx Kill in New York and Schuylkill River in Pennsylvania.
Whorekill is a lovely river. Signed Jauque T Quillar.
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bob
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Re: Weird Headlines

#650

Post by bob »

Imagex6 Imagex2 Imagex4 Imagex2

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