Thank you so much! I'll ask her if she would like your info!sugar magnolia wrote: ↑Fri Sep 24, 2021 5:58 am Now that you said Jackson specifically, I might be able to ease your worry just a bit. We are a huge blue dot in a sea of red in MS, and very gay friendly. It's the only way we're able to bear living here. 90% of being happy and accepted is choosing the right neighborhood to live in to begin with. South Jackson is like another country to those in North Jackson. We have a strong arts community, lots of entertainment options, and some of the best restaurants in the South. Our City administration and mayor suck spoiled eggs but they are great free entertainment when they start threatening each other with violence during council meetings and have the Interim Sheriff throw each other out when things get too disruptive. We mostly just ignore Tater Tot, our idiot governor.
She's welcome to contact me for anything she might need when she gets here, or before she gets here. I've lived here most of my life and know the city and her quirks like the back of my hand. I love this city even though I recognize her faults.
LM K
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LM K
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Re: LM K
"The jungle is no place for a cellist."
From "Take the Money and Run"
From "Take the Money and Run"
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raison de arizona
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Re: LM K
seriously
“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
We went for a ride,-
LM K
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Re: LM K
Something I've realized as y'all have shared is that I can't force Lori to be close to me or have the type of relationship that I had hoped for. I've worked extremely hard to have a closer relationship with her.
Lori has done an excellent job convincing me that the difficulties in our relationship are all my fault. I knew that she was wrong, but until last night, I didn't fully understand it. Even my parents have recognized that. When Lori cut me 10 years ago (we've been working to make that better), my mom said she had always been proud that she never been disappointed in one of her daughters ... until Lori did what she did. My parents weren't picking sides, they recognized that I worked hard. I'd hate myself if I disappointed my mom.
It's time for me to stop walking on eggshells. It's time for me to stop pushing to have the relationship I had hoped for. I'm not pulling back in anger. I'm pulling out due because it's time for me to be realistic.
Some of this batshittery is likely due to trauma. There's no way for me to really know, even if we were closer. And Lori lashes out when anyone expresses concern.
Tonight I learned that Lori slept with her eldest granddaughter's pillow after Hailee moved to the east coast ... for 2 months.
That's not normal or healthy. While normal is relative, Lori's behavior and emotions about Hailee are nowhere on the spectrum of normal.
While I'm not closing the door to changes in our relationship, I'm no longer waiting at the door. I will welcome her back if she wants a closer relationship. But I have to stop blaming myself. Beating myself up is further harming our relationship. Thus, it must stop. And it's hurting me. Thus, it must stop.
Y'all have been enormously helpful and encouraging. Your support means the world to me.
Thank you.
Lori has done an excellent job convincing me that the difficulties in our relationship are all my fault. I knew that she was wrong, but until last night, I didn't fully understand it. Even my parents have recognized that. When Lori cut me 10 years ago (we've been working to make that better), my mom said she had always been proud that she never been disappointed in one of her daughters ... until Lori did what she did. My parents weren't picking sides, they recognized that I worked hard. I'd hate myself if I disappointed my mom.
It's time for me to stop walking on eggshells. It's time for me to stop pushing to have the relationship I had hoped for. I'm not pulling back in anger. I'm pulling out due because it's time for me to be realistic.
Some of this batshittery is likely due to trauma. There's no way for me to really know, even if we were closer. And Lori lashes out when anyone expresses concern.
Tonight I learned that Lori slept with her eldest granddaughter's pillow after Hailee moved to the east coast ... for 2 months.
That's not normal or healthy. While normal is relative, Lori's behavior and emotions about Hailee are nowhere on the spectrum of normal.
While I'm not closing the door to changes in our relationship, I'm no longer waiting at the door. I will welcome her back if she wants a closer relationship. But I have to stop blaming myself. Beating myself up is further harming our relationship. Thus, it must stop. And it's hurting me. Thus, it must stop.
Y'all have been enormously helpful and encouraging. Your support means the world to me.
Thank you.
"The jungle is no place for a cellist."
From "Take the Money and Run"
From "Take the Money and Run"
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Tiredretiredlawyer
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Re: LM K
Your realization will help your mom and niece as they won't see you striving for or conflicted about Lori. 
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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LM K
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Re: LM K
Ellie found out this morning.
Her head is spinning. She's angry, sad, and feels abandoned. She knows exactly why Lori is moving the tribe. She's so angry that her mom seems to be is choosing grandchildren over her.
She's sad her eldest sister is moving. Livi is 10 years older than Ellie, but they're extremely close.
I assured her that mom was moving here and that she was very welcome here. I let her know that she was part of our plan this entire time if she wants to come.
I think that's probably what's going to happen.
Ellie's dad lives in a 1 room apartment with a roommate, so living with him isn't an option. Her paternal grandmother lives with Ellie's Aunt and family, so living there isn't an option.
So, Ellie comes here or strikes out on her own. Alone.
Lori told Ellie she could of course go with them to Mississippi. Ellie felt slapped in the face by that.
Mom is furious. Understandably so.
It's been a day of drama. I was texting with Ellie and talking with mom for 5 hours this afternoon.
Her head is spinning. She's angry, sad, and feels abandoned. She knows exactly why Lori is moving the tribe. She's so angry that her mom seems to be is choosing grandchildren over her.
She's sad her eldest sister is moving. Livi is 10 years older than Ellie, but they're extremely close.
I assured her that mom was moving here and that she was very welcome here. I let her know that she was part of our plan this entire time if she wants to come.
I think that's probably what's going to happen.
Ellie's dad lives in a 1 room apartment with a roommate, so living with him isn't an option. Her paternal grandmother lives with Ellie's Aunt and family, so living there isn't an option.
So, Ellie comes here or strikes out on her own. Alone.
Lori told Ellie she could of course go with them to Mississippi. Ellie felt slapped in the face by that.
Mom is furious. Understandably so.
It's been a day of drama.
I was texting with Ellie and talking with mom for 5 hours this afternoon."The jungle is no place for a cellist."
From "Take the Money and Run"
From "Take the Money and Run"
Re: LM K
I'm sure Ellie is devastated. I hope your offer to have her move there helps her not feel so deserted.
"Choose your leaders with wisdom and forethought. To be led by a coward is to be controlled by all that the coward fears… To be led by a liar is to ask to be told lies." -Octavia E. Butler
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raison de arizona
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Re: LM K
She is blessed to have you in her life. This kind of stuff makes me tear up. Thanks for being there for her. And your mom. You're a good person.
“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” —John Adams
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LM K
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Re: LM K
I know y'all have been on the edge of your seats waiting for a Drama Update!
1. Yes, I'm on Lori's shit list. While in Reno last year, I dropped some trash at mom's house, and, because I didn't realize I had done so, I didn't pick it up. Lori has refused to talk to me for 10 months because of it.
And here I thought I did something worth an 10 month cold freeze.
2. Lori called Mom on Sun and went off on her on an epic scale. EPIC. Lori has never done that to mom before.
I thought mom would be devastated after the phone call. She wasn't. The call gave her the freedom to say "enough" without feeling guilty.
Mom once told me that she was glad that her daughters had never disappointed her. Mom said that that has changed. I will never tell Lori about that because telling her would be too damn mean.
3. Ellie gave Lori another chance. Ellie calmly sat down with Lori and her step dad in hopes of figuring out how she's supposed to navigate all of this. The discussion went very badly. I told Ellie that she had been brave and that I was proud of her for trying. She's done trying. Which is a healthy decision.
For my entire adult life, I've allowed Lori to gaslight me. That's over. While I'm sad, I'm no longer hurt. If Lori tries to discuss any of this, I'm going to refuse to engage. I won't do so rudely or angrily. I'm just not going to engage. I'm done being bullied.
Let's be honest. Anyone that refuses to talk to you because of unnoticed trash can't be reasoned with.
Yes, I'm the one with the diagnosed mental illness. But I'm not crazy. I can't let crazy control the entire family.
I'm not going to Reno for Christmas. I have been planning to be with mom for the first anniversary of Dad's death (Dec 7). Because of covid world, I'm not sure I'll be able to go. If I do go, I'm not letting Lori know I'm coming. Her daughters can do that. They think I'm fantabulous!
1. Yes, I'm on Lori's shit list. While in Reno last year, I dropped some trash at mom's house, and, because I didn't realize I had done so, I didn't pick it up. Lori has refused to talk to me for 10 months because of it.
And here I thought I did something worth an 10 month cold freeze.
2. Lori called Mom on Sun and went off on her on an epic scale. EPIC. Lori has never done that to mom before.
I thought mom would be devastated after the phone call. She wasn't. The call gave her the freedom to say "enough" without feeling guilty.
Mom once told me that she was glad that her daughters had never disappointed her. Mom said that that has changed. I will never tell Lori about that because telling her would be too damn mean.
3. Ellie gave Lori another chance. Ellie calmly sat down with Lori and her step dad in hopes of figuring out how she's supposed to navigate all of this. The discussion went very badly. I told Ellie that she had been brave and that I was proud of her for trying. She's done trying. Which is a healthy decision.
For my entire adult life, I've allowed Lori to gaslight me. That's over. While I'm sad, I'm no longer hurt. If Lori tries to discuss any of this, I'm going to refuse to engage. I won't do so rudely or angrily. I'm just not going to engage. I'm done being bullied.
Let's be honest. Anyone that refuses to talk to you because of unnoticed trash can't be reasoned with.
Yes, I'm the one with the diagnosed mental illness. But I'm not crazy. I can't let crazy control the entire family.
I'm not going to Reno for Christmas. I have been planning to be with mom for the first anniversary of Dad's death (Dec 7). Because of covid world, I'm not sure I'll be able to go. If I do go, I'm not letting Lori know I'm coming. Her daughters can do that. They think I'm fantabulous!
"The jungle is no place for a cellist."
From "Take the Money and Run"
From "Take the Money and Run"
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Phoenix520
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Re: LM K
ETA I’m so happy you are back among us
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Tiredretiredlawyer
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Re: LM K
Welcome back, mindhunter! Glad you have survived and grown from the Lori mindfuck! 
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.
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LM K
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Re: LM K
Now that I've received my booster shot, I've decided to visit my mom and nieces in Reno for the anniversary of Dad's death.
I'm not going to see my sister if I can avoid it. I was going to go through the motions if she wanted to get together out of obligation. Fuck that. I'm tired of being the sweet sister who accommodates her.
Avoiding her shouldn't be terribly difficult. I'm sure she feels the same about seeing me right now.
Lori has neglected my mom to a shocking degree. I couldn't live with myself if I was so neglectful. Lori has called her a few times since the shit hit the fan (3 months). Most calls aren't going well. I call mom about 6 days a week. Lori did invite mom over for Thanksgiving. Mom declined; she's not up to family holidays so soon after Dad's death. She was afraid of ruining the day for everyone else.
Ellie is excited that I'm visiting. She's going to meet me at the airport, which is really sweet. She asked my mom about my flight details, so she really wants to visit with her Auntie!
Mom isn't doing well at all. We're having a hard time finding a therapist for her. I'm going to call every therapist that accepts her insurance and get her scheduled with someone. She's not well at all.
So, I'm off on a plane to god awful Reno, NV!
At least I like my mom! This isn't a trip out of obligation. And while this is a really shitty situation, I'm glad I received a booster in time before our new covid strain becomes prevelent. Mom asked if I should postpone because of the new variant. I told her I want to come now just in case this new strain prevents safe travel in the relatively near future ... which it will.
What a world.
I'm not going to see my sister if I can avoid it. I was going to go through the motions if she wanted to get together out of obligation. Fuck that. I'm tired of being the sweet sister who accommodates her.
Avoiding her shouldn't be terribly difficult. I'm sure she feels the same about seeing me right now.
Lori has neglected my mom to a shocking degree. I couldn't live with myself if I was so neglectful. Lori has called her a few times since the shit hit the fan (3 months). Most calls aren't going well. I call mom about 6 days a week. Lori did invite mom over for Thanksgiving. Mom declined; she's not up to family holidays so soon after Dad's death. She was afraid of ruining the day for everyone else.
Ellie is excited that I'm visiting. She's going to meet me at the airport, which is really sweet. She asked my mom about my flight details, so she really wants to visit with her Auntie!
Mom isn't doing well at all. We're having a hard time finding a therapist for her. I'm going to call every therapist that accepts her insurance and get her scheduled with someone. She's not well at all.
So, I'm off on a plane to god awful Reno, NV!
At least I like my mom! This isn't a trip out of obligation. And while this is a really shitty situation, I'm glad I received a booster in time before our new covid strain becomes prevelent. Mom asked if I should postpone because of the new variant. I told her I want to come now just in case this new strain prevents safe travel in the relatively near future ... which it will.
What a world.
"The jungle is no place for a cellist."
From "Take the Money and Run"
From "Take the Money and Run"