Bullying Facts and Counter Strategies

Post Reply
User avatar
Tiredretiredlawyer
Posts: 9078
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 2:56 pm
Location: Animal Planet
Occupation: Permanent probationary slave to 1 dog, 1 cat, and 1 horse, 4 granddogs, and one grandcat.

Bullying Facts and Counter Strategies

#1

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer » Wed Jul 10, 2019 11:17 am

This topic came up in The Stupid It Burns Thread. How should you handle a bully who targets you or others?

https://blogs.webmd.com/mental-health/2 ... dult-bully
HEALTH: How to Handle an Adult Bully

Unfortunately, bullying doesn’t always stop once we become adults. And whether it’s a boss, a partner, a peer, a family member, or someone else, adult bullies often can’t be stopped simply by appealing to an authority (or a big brother). Standing up to a bully can result in retaliation, such as being fired or being abused by a partner.

Having worked for a bully, I know it can be hard to stand up to them. Because of their narcissism, their need for control, and their skill in manipulating others, bullies are often found in powerful roles, with few people willing or able to challenge them.

Here are some guidelines that may help you handle the adult bully in your life:

Call it what it is.


If your boss, partner, co-worker, or anyone else bullies you, consciously acknowledge to yourself that they’re a bully. Once you identify the situation for what it is, you’ll be in a better position to respond to it. Understanding it can also help you deal with the questions and confusion like Why is this person so difficult? and What am I doing to cause this? Instead, you can realize that it’s in the person’s nature to be a bully.

Understand the system you’re a part of.
Exit the situation if necessary.
Document your experiences.
Don’t go it alone.


Be kind to yourself, too, as bullying often takes a toll on your self-confidence. Watch out for self-critical thoughts, like seeing yourself as “weak” and even blaming yourself for the bullying behavior. Pay attention to the language you use, keeping in mind that you were the target of bullying, notthe victim. Finally, remember that some people bully because that’s what they do—it doesn’t mean it was your fault or that there was something about you that made you an attractive target.
A 19th Amendment Centennial Moment: African-American Naomi Anderson was a leader in the suffrage movement in the west, a published poet, barber, community activist, and teacher.

User avatar
Tiredretiredlawyer
Posts: 9078
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 2:56 pm
Location: Animal Planet
Occupation: Permanent probationary slave to 1 dog, 1 cat, and 1 horse, 4 granddogs, and one grandcat.

Re: Bullying Facts and Counter Strategies

#2

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer » Wed Jul 10, 2019 11:27 am

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... deal-bully
6 Smarter Ways to Deal With a Bully

Experts offer advice about the best way to deal with a bully.


"Bullying is repeated, aggressive behavior … that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. Its purpose is to deliver physical or psychological harm to another person. There are three main types of bullying. In youth sports, the most common forms of verbal bullying are name calling, taunting, rudeness, and threats of violence and/or harm to another athlete. Social bullying includes excluding another athlete on purpose, gossiping, hurtful trash talk, and embarrassment of an athlete in front of others. Physical bullying includes hitting, slapping, tripping, head butting, towel snapping, spitting, stealing, and making rude hand gestures."

"Some of the worst kinds of verbal abuse are quiet; silence in answer to a question asked or a comment made too can pack a mightier wallop than a loud rant. Silence effectively ridicules and shames."

Like many bullies, Susan also fits the DSM-5 diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Here's how the Mayo Clinic faculty describes it:

"A mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism."
A 19th Amendment Centennial Moment: African-American Naomi Anderson was a leader in the suffrage movement in the west, a published poet, barber, community activist, and teacher.

User avatar
Tiredretiredlawyer
Posts: 9078
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 2:56 pm
Location: Animal Planet
Occupation: Permanent probationary slave to 1 dog, 1 cat, and 1 horse, 4 granddogs, and one grandcat.

Re: Bullying Facts and Counter Strategies

#3

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer » Wed Jul 10, 2019 11:37 am

https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention ... index.html
Bystanders to Bullying

An Upstander is someone who takes action when they witness bullying. Even one person’s support can make a big difference for someone who is being bullied. When youth who are bullied are defended and supported by their peers, they are less anxious and depressed than those who are not.

There are many things that bystanders to bullying can do to become upstanders:
  • Question the bullying behavior. Simple things like changing the subject or questioning the behavior can shift the focus.

    Use humor to say something funny and redirect the conversation.

    There is strength in numbers too! Bystanders can intervene as a group to show there are several people who don’t agree with the bullying.

    Walk with the person who is the target of bullying to help diffuse potential bullying interactions.

    Reach out privately to check in with the person who was bullied to let them know you do not agree with it and that you care. It makes a difference.

    Be Someone’s Hero video in English or Spanish for an example of how to be an upstander.
When bystanders become upstanders it not only helps the targets of bullying, but shows other bystanders how to take action to prevent or address bullying.
A 19th Amendment Centennial Moment: African-American Naomi Anderson was a leader in the suffrage movement in the west, a published poet, barber, community activist, and teacher.

Post Reply

Return to “Social Issues”