Jokes

[derevan]

I don't know what I like about Switzerland, but the flag is a big plus.

[somerset]

I don't know what I like about Switzerland, but the flag is a big plus.

[RTH10260]

bankers... bankers... bankers...


whereas you should also be big friends of the Red Cross organization

[Eaststander]

Horse walks into a bar. Barman says: “Why the long face?”

[Estiveo]

Horse Ann Coulter walks into a bar. Barman says: “Why the long face?”

FIFY

[Frater I*I]

Horse Ann Coulter Marjorie Tinfoil Greene walks into a bar. Barman says: “Why the long face?”

FIFY

FIFY

[Shizzle Popped]

[pjhimself]

[Domenico]

Found this in the comments section of an article on Fox news website about the 'christian diet guru' plane crash:

As the altimeter needle plummeted, the pilot realized his plane was going down. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One of the flight crew stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."

"Good," said the pilot, "you pray while the rest of us put on parachutes - we're one short."

[noblepa]

That is, without a doubt, the funniest comedy routine, ever. No question.

Its even better that George Carlin's "Seven Words You can Never Say on Television".

I read somewhere that it took them about four years to perfect that routine.

[keith]

[AndyinPA]

Definitely an oldie, but a goodie!

[pjhimself]

Bubba and Billy Joe were on vacation, walking downtown, window shopping, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.99 each, shirts $1.99 each, trousers $2.49 each.
Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Joe, Look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take‘m back to Alabama, sell 'em and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin', 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us.” Now, I'll talk in a slow Texas drawl so's they don't know we is from Alabama ."
They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Texas drawl, “ I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.99, 100 of them there shirts at $1.99, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.39. I'll back up my pickup and....."

"The owner of the shop interrupts, "Y'all from Alabama, ain't ya?"

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba. "How come y'all knowed that?"

"Because this is a Dry-Cleaners."

[wavey davey]

My mom loved jokes, especially this one: Did you hear about the dumb prostitute that went to work in a warehouse?

Did you hear about the prostitute who made her rounds by bicycle? She peddled her ass all over town.

[Liz]

My mom loved jokes, especially this one: Did you hear about the dumb prostitute that went to work in a warehouse?

Did you hear about the prostitute who made her rounds by bicycle? She peddled her ass all over town.

My mom too.
Did you hear about the dumb lady who thought Peter Pan was a wash basin in the Mens Room.

[Suranis]

2 Kids are watching men go to this woman's house, saying "Hi Luv, Robert sent me," going in. and coming out 20 minutes to half an hour later.

"I wonder whats going on in there" one asks.

"Lets find out," the other says.

So they go over knoc on the door and The woman looks out "Uh, whadda yew want?"

"Robert sent us!" they both chime,

The woman blinks, shrugs, and invites them in.

Inside she said "Ok, wheres your money, lads?"

The buys have a quick rummage through their pockets, and come up with 16 cents.

The woman beats the living crap out of them, and kicks them out on their asses.

And as they are lying there, one turns to the other. "I'm glad we only had 16 cents."

[poplove]

[bill_g]

Mother's Day ads feature jewelery and new cars.

Father's Day ads feature cheap shorts and a Fitbit.

Hmmmm

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[bill_g]

[tek]

Off Topic

I got 6

[roadscholar]

15 here.

[bill_g]

Imma 23.

[bill_g]

I took an IQ test last week.
The results were negative.