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Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

These people are weird, but we like to find out what weird people are doing and thinking. It's a hobby.
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scirreeve
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#351

Post by scirreeve »

Oh - I meant to mention that Sporky begs for donations but neglects to tell his non existent viewers how to do that. He has 31 views which is probably mostly Fogbow peeps. No comments, 1 like.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#352

Post by Foggy »

Says he crashed their car in Huntsville.
Perfectly understandable. It happens. Especially to speed freaks. :batting:
When he panhandled the cop was just gonna ticket him but Sporky mouthed off to the cop and refused to ID himself so he got thrown in jail.
That was the decision, obviously, from which all the following consequences flowed. That was the moment when he consciously decided to go to jail again, and then promptly implemented that decision. Remember, Ol' Sporky doesn't have much in the way of education or experience or expertise of any kind, but he DOES UNDERSTAND about being arrested. He does understand that the cop was not going to put him in jail, and all he had to do was sign the ticket and keep his damn mouth shut. He wouldn't even have to go to court on the ticket - if'n he got his lazy butt out of Alabama before the court date, he'd never be extradited and he could literally just shine them on.

But no. :nope: He's the Mighty Spork. He attended part of a business law class in a community college, making him the nation's foremost authority in the interpretation of the Constitution. Well, that is, when he's not conducting enormously complicated and important scientific research into the issue of why the cell phone industry is trying to murder the entire United States population using weaponized 5G technology.

'Course, it actually should be unconstitutional to jail a vagrant unless he pays money (he doesn't have any money, he's a vagrant), but he was NOT going to jail.

Until he opened his fat Sporky mouth and changed the cop's mind on the subject. :doh: :doh:

And he knew what jail would be like:
In jail he refused to put on a mask so was put in isolation. He wiped his ass with his t shirt and threw it at a guard. He mouthed off to the guard so often he ended up getting tased and maced.

So jail - just plain jail, where they lock you up but they feed you and give you a bed at night - was NOT WHAT THE SPORK HAD IN MIND. He wanted to be tased and maced and put in isolation (and it sounds like he was damn lucky they didn't just beat the shit out of him).

And all that was a brilliant strategy by which he forced the mighty Alabama court system into abject submission.
He pled guilty and was sentenced to time served.
Yeah, just kidding. :lol:
Out from under. :thumbsup:
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#353

Post by arayder »

scirreeve wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:06 pm This is Sporky's tale, not mine. I am skeptical.
I have to wonder what went wrong in Frankfort such that Bruce had to leave. The fact that Bruce isn't talking about it is suspicious.

The apartment there was a mess. Bruce looked awful. His frequent trips (during which he recorded videos) up Interstate 64 toward Lexington had me thinking he was taking Mrs. Bruce back and forth from a job. Lord knows he wasn't working. That job may have ended and with nothing going for themselves the chain of bad decisions starts. . .

The Bruces just decided to drive the heap to the ocean and live on the beach because Mrs. Bruce has never seen the ocean.

What?

Along the way the 60 year-old couch potato Bruce, now apparently out of money, decides to take a job swinging a sledge hammer?

What?

He wrecks the heap, sasses a Huntsville cop and then says it's all just bad luck in a town that hates the homeless.

What?

-----------------
Dope Clock II: It's been 33 days since Bobby Menard announced plans to create "Artists Valley". So far all he has done is lie through his teeth!
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#354

Post by scirreeve »

arayder wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 9:24 pm
scirreeve wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:06 pm This is Sporky's tale, not mine. I am skeptical.

Along the way the 60 year-old couch potato Bruce, now apparently out of money, decides to take a job swinging a sledge hammer?

What?



-----------------
Dope Clock II: It's been 33 days since Bobby Menard announced plans to create "Artists Valley". So far all he has done is lie through his teeth!
Yeah this is the most unbelievable part of his stupid video.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#355

Post by johnpcapitalist »

arayder wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 9:24 pm The Bruces just decided to drive the heap to the ocean and live on the beach because Mrs. Bruce has never seen the ocean.

What?
Huntsville is not exactly known for its ocean views, since it's about 350 miles north of the Gulf of Mexico. Apparently, map reading is another deficit of Sporky's.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#356

Post by thearmbarkid »

In a lot of county jails, if you act up like that and end up taken to AdSeg, that's where you'll stay for the rest of your sentence, because acting afool and then getting handled in front of the other inmates paints a HUGE ass target on Chris' back.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#357

Post by Luke »

scirreeve wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 10:03 pm
arayder wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 9:24 pm
scirreeve wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:06 pm This is Sporky's tale, not mine. I am skeptical.

Along the way the 60 year-old couch potato Bruce, now apparently out of money, decides to take a job swinging a sledge hammer?

What?



-----------------
Dope Clock II: It's been 33 days since Bobby Menard announced plans to create "Artists Valley". So far all he has done is lie through his teeth!
Yeah this is the most unbelievable part of his stupid video.


Y'all aren't giving The Spork the credit he deserves. :P It's all about hand-eye coordination. The sledgehammer was probably only 16 pounds. In this video, a construction company owner teaches a new guy how to do it. The Spork probably did that sledgehammer-to-nose trick like at the beginning of this video below to show off and bond with the other construction guys. The Spork must have been brilliant at this and the boss on the job is begging for The Spork to come back.


How to swing a 16 lbs. Sledge Hammer like a pro!


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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#358

Post by Gregg »

scirreeve wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:06 pm Reply to a post upthread with more comment. Sporky definitely said he was working with a veteran organization (not veterinarian). I if I understood correctly he went to the VA and got a referral to an organization that provides temporary housing assistance to homeless vets (not sure if it is a 3rd party or a VA program). He might have problems though cuz his wallet got stolen and he has no ID - we shall see. Mrs. Sporky also got her purse stolen a day before Sporky got his wallet stolen. He says some other homeless person pointed them to the thief and they were able to retrieve Mrs. Sporky's purse.

Also too, Sporky claims that when he refused to ID himself and was taken to the jail the officer that arrested him took a pic of his ugly mug and ran it through some facial recognition SW that found a former Alabama driver's license photo that Sporky had 22 years ago. This is Sporky's tale, not mine. I am skeptical.

Maybe they took his fingerprints and matched them to his extensive presence in booking logs all over the country. I find that more likely.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#359

Post by Arthurwankspittle »

What happens to the car? I presume the state doesn't want wrecks left beside the road, so it will be recovered somewhere, all of which no doubt incurring costs for our hero.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#360

Post by Gregg »

Car gone.

If he got arrested on the street its doubtful he can wiggle up enough cash to pay the towing and storage, which is going up by about $20-$50 a day from a start of at least $150. The car isn't worth the balance now even if he could pay it.

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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#361

Post by Foggy »

Oh, don't worry about him not having a car. He's exactly where God wants him to be, and all he has to do is put his wife to work so they can have a roof over their heads and some food on the table.

Oh yeah, and a small pile of crystal meth and a carton of cigarettes on the table. :batting:

If they find a cheap dump and eat a lot of ramen, she should be able to make an initial payment for another shitty car in a few weeks, huh?

Ol' Sporky needs to be working on his grandiose plans for starting an anti-government community on some godforsaken desolate hell hole piece of land out West with hundreds of his imaginary followers.

A man should do what he does best. That's his callin'. He's been distracted for a spell, but he should be doing what the lord has told him to do.

So it will, unfortunately, fall once again upon his wife to step up and support the fambly. :blackeye:


Or she could divorce his ass and live happily ever after. :shrug:
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#362

Post by TheNewSaint »

Gregg wrote: Sat Jul 24, 2021 4:47 am ChristophertheWalkingMan
Christopher Walkin'.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#363

Post by scirreeve »

Sporky walked to a library and is having problems with FB. So sad.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#364

Post by Luke »

Foggy, that was a heartwarming post about The Spork. Ifn he was at the library, maybe he lost his phone? But then how did he make that video. Maybe The Spork was trying to be slick to create other Facebook accounts and used the library so they wouldn't be tracked to his phone. Why is he doing things like that instead of going back to his sledgehammer job? Think Spork, think.

Gregg wrote: Sat Jul 24, 2021 4:47 am Car gone.

If he got arrested on the street its doubtful he can wiggle up enough cash to pay the towing and storage, which is going up by about $20-$50 a day from a start of at least $150. The car isn't worth the balance now even if he could pay it.

ChristophertheWalkingMan

The police report on the vehicle accident showed a pack of dachshunds was congregating around the vehicle right before The Spork made his fateful trip. Donut crumbs were found near where it was parked. Huntsville police have no leads or futher information.


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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#365

Post by northland10 »

scirreeve wrote: Sat Jul 24, 2021 12:28 pm Sporky walked to a library and is having problems with FB. So sad.
Capture.JPG
He creates 2 new accounts to which FB determined could be for all one person which is against their rules. Then he admits it, on FB, that he was taking part in the exact suspicious activity for which the new accounts were restricted.

Brilliant.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#366

Post by Foggy »

Irrefutable proof that he is AN IMPORTANT VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS.

He's so important, he is on the list among the Deep State tech departments, not to let him have ANY access to the internet, using his crappy cell phone. They're all pretty terrified, because they know just how much influence he wields when he - heaven forfend - has access to his adoring masses through Facebook or his super-popular blog, whatever it's called, I fergets. :lol:

I've been in numerous situations where I could have acted like an obnoxious asshole and turned a citation into an arrest (and a criminal record). I mean NUMEROUS. :oopsy: :bag:

Instead, in every case, I was instantly polite, friendly, and honest to the cop. Because of that attitude, more often than not I never even got the citation, just a friendly warning after a few words with my new buddy. I was given field sobriety tests on the side of the road THREE TIMES after being pulled over in the great state of California, and I had been drinking every time. :oopsy: But I never got arrested any of those three times because I was just such a darned nice fellow, the kind of gentleman that, if you were a cop, when you pulled him over, he made your whole job worthwhile and gave you a better opinion of the human race. :batting:

Without actual bootlicking, of course. :fingerwag: Or any other kind of groveling. :nope:

Respectful. Sincere. Honest. And above all, friendly in the most appropriate manner possible. That's how you deal with cops, and if you disagree, let's find somebody else from California who was given FSTs three times on the side of the road and had been drinking/drunk every time, and yet never did get arrested for a DUI. We can compare notes and see how s/he did it. Maybe s/he did the Sporky approach: get in the cop's face and make it ugly. But I think not. I think my approach works. 'Course, I haven't driven drunk for many years now. I hardly ever talk to cops anymore. But not because I don't like cops. It's because I got old and stopped breaking the law. :whistle:
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#367

Post by noblepa »

Foggy wrote: Sat Jul 24, 2021 3:13 pm Irrefutable proof that he is AN IMPORTANT VOICE IN THE WILDERNESS.

He's so important, he is on the list among the Deep State tech departments, not to let him have ANY access to the internet, using his crappy cell phone. They're all pretty terrified, because they know just how much influence he wields when he - heaven forfend - has access to his adoring masses through Facebook or his super-popular blog, whatever it's called, I fergets. :lol:

I've been in numerous situations where I could have acted like an obnoxious asshole and turned a citation into an arrest (and a criminal record). I mean NUMEROUS. :oopsy: :bag:

Instead, in every case, I was instantly polite, friendly, and honest to the cop. Because of that attitude, more often than not I never even got the citation, just a friendly warning after a few words with my new buddy. I was given field sobriety tests on the side of the road THREE TIMES after being pulled over in the great state of California, and I had been drinking every time. :oopsy: But I never got arrested any of those three times because I was just such a darned nice fellow, the kind of gentleman that, if you were a cop, when you pulled him over, he made your whole job worthwhile and gave you a better opinion of the human race. :batting:

Without actual bootlicking, of course. :fingerwag: Or any other kind of groveling. :nope:

Respectful. Sincere. Honest. And above all, friendly in the most appropriate manner possible. That's how you deal with cops, and if you disagree, let's find somebody else from California who was given FSTs three times on the side of the road and had been drinking/drunk every time, and yet never did get arrested for a DUI. We can compare notes and see how s/he did it. Maybe s/he did the Sporky approach: get in the cop's face and make it ugly. But I think not. I think my approach works. 'Course, I haven't driven drunk for many years now. I hardly ever talk to cops anymore. But not because I don't like cops. It's because I got old and stopped breaking the law. :whistle:

And, even if the stop is completely bogus and unjustified, you don't argue the law with the officer. As you suggest, you try to be respectful, sincere, honest and friendly with the officer. If you think you have a legal argument that you didn't break the law or that the officer erred in stopping you, you bring that up with the judge.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#368

Post by Gregg »

No no no no no... The "so called Judge" has no authority over a living walking man! He is the absolute optimum arbiter of his own destiny and the corrupt corporate policy enforcing cops are abridging his freedom!

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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#369

Post by Luke »

Northland is exactly right, it was brilliant of The Spork to admit to Facebook he was trying to create multiple accounts. And yet his pal Laure seems to have experience in this area.
Laure Jackson
Yup they caught on to restricted people making new accounts! My niece had 3 and she got put in Facebook jail for 30 days and so did her other accounts! Yup bunch of communists work there!!!!! Control, control, control!!
All this "censorship" whining... who's stopping them from posting anywhere else online? Talk about entitled little babies. How much are they paying for it?

At last a comment on his Stranded in Al post. The Spork's friend Rose has a suggestion (but no donation). What's a Gies?:
Rose Cash
So Sorry ! I Understand How That All Gies ! Find Churches ,,If Theyll Help ?? Idk ...they are about the Same.

Ol' Sporky needs to be working on his grandiose plans for starting an anti-government community on some godforsaken desolate hell hole piece of land out West with hundreds of his imaginary followers.
How do we know he isn't already deep into that project, Foggy? It went so well last time. One thing we know about The Spork is he's the King of follow-up. He must be hard at work on tons of important projects, amazing he even had time to post on Facebook with all his action items. Maybe he's working on the 2021 Save America tour with the vets in the trailer again, that was a remarkably ambitious project. How's the fundraising for the Denny's Gift Cards going?

Yet, The Spork is so committed to helping his fellow Sporks that even though he's broke and homeless, The Spork took his precious and valuable time to post this vital, nearly impossible to find information:


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There seems to be one shelter that allows pets. Maybe The Spork should be looking into stuff like that instead of posting bullsh*t on Facebook:

MORE PETS AND PEOPLE MAKE THEIR WAY INSIDE HUNTSVILLE WARMING SHELTER
Grateful Life is the only local shelter that allows pets

Posted: Jan 20, 2020 5:38 PM Updated: Jan 20, 2020 6:58 PM
Posted By: Brittany Collins

With the frigid cold temperatures, more homeless people are making their way into a warming shelter. As of Monday night, there are 45 people at the Grateful Life Community Church in Huntsville. On Sunday, they turned their church into a warming center. Church members have been feeding the homeless several meals and providing them games and entertainment.

Grateful Life is the only local shelter that allows pets. One woman told WAAY31 she didn't want her puppy outside in the cold weather. "Pretty rough, I mean...It's OK in the summer time, but in the winter time, it sort of gets rough," said Darlene Davis. Church members said they are in need of heavy jackets. This is Grateful Life's 6th year opening as a warming shelter
https://www.waaytv.com/content/news/Mor ... 46121.html

Grateful Life Community Church
Address: 207 Oakwood Ave NW, Huntsville, AL 35811
Phone: (256) 479-0150
The police report on the vehicle accident showed a pack of dachshunds was congregating around the vehicle right before The Spork made his fateful trip. Donut crumbs were found near where it was parked. Huntsville police have no leads or further information.
Any comment from the Imperial Illuminati Air Force? Very concerned about Bunny Dog.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#370

Post by Gregg »

No comment at this time.

*the distant whop whop whop of helicopters, the faint puff of tiny parachutes opening and the ferocious welps of highly trained Assault Dachshunds as they descend upon you, are the final things you see and hear*

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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#371

Post by scirreeve »

Bunny dog video got lost in the Fogbow 1.0 crash - thought I would repost it so people know why we call his dog the bunny dog. Bunny dog deserves a better owner than Sporky.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#372

Post by scirreeve »

The Sporkys have strange way of communicating with each other. Chris hasn't responded to Liz.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#373

Post by Foggy »

I am still thinking about his decision to escalate the situation with the cop in Huntsville, which turned a simple ticket into a very unfortunate series of events that would be considered a nightmare for 98% of the Earthlings in this great land of ours.

1) He knew the cop had the discretion not to arrest him.
2) He knew that going to jail can be very unpleasant.
3) He knew exactly what he had to do to make sure he walked away free from the situation.
4) He had a very good idea of what could happen to him if he started getting ugly on the guy with the gun and the badge and the handcuffs.
5) And, he knew 100% that if he got ugly on the cop, the cop deciding to just walk away and leave him alone was NOT one of the possible outcomes he might obtain.

There were only two possible outcomes, and one of them was worse than the other. :think:

All he had to do was sign the damn ticket and keep his mouth shut, and he gets to go free, maybe have a chance to talk to his wife and try to come up with a plan, which they can work on together. Y'know, like ol' Wifehorn and I do when we're faced with a big problem. One of the most important things about our marriage is that we work together and discuss everything and make sure we're both on the same page on stuff. Especially stuff, y'know, like do we have a roof over our heads and do we have food to eat for us and the kittehs, and are either of us going to get arrested and be in jail, y'know, little stuff like that.

Or, he could intentionally decide to be an enormous asshole to the cop and try to get himself thrown in the big house. Which worked perfectly, except it meant:
1) being confined involuntarily by very bossy people who don't even like him,
2) being put on a very unfortunate diet, and most importantly,
3) it meant that his wife was ON HER OWN, because her stupid asshole husband got himself locked up by being a stupid asshole AGAIN. :mad:

No, she was stuck with whatever she could salvage from the wrecked carmobile, and it was up to her to somehow find a place to store it, at least temporarily. Then she needed to find some food and hopefully a decent place to stay until she could think about how to maybe get a job in Huntsville and start building a new life there, after she gets her stupid asshole husband back.

What a life. What a marriage.

If'n I ever gotted throwed in jail for being a stupid asshole like that, ol' Wifehorn might do something drastic. I mean seriously drastic. I don't even want to think about it. :shock: :cantlook:
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#374

Post by Estiveo »

A slight quibble with No. 3 is that being married to Sporky is very much like being on your own except you also have to care for a very large, very loud, infant, with a meth & 2 pack a day habit.

Sporky in jail must be the equivalent of a spa getaway weekend for Mrs. Sporky.
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Re: Can't forget sporky. the livingman idiot

#375

Post by Suranis »

It's possible Sporky thought going to jail was preferable to the situation he was in. He would have a bed and 3 meals for free. The wife would not factor in.
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