Jokes

[bill_g]

I learned a different line in the children's poem,

This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home.

Nothing about roast beef. I didn't get it, either.

The whole poem is -

This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy had roast beef
And this little piggy had none
And this little piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home

[Foggy]

Well then I learned some other lines, because I'm looking at "roast beef" and I don't remember anything like that. My mom's gone or I would ask her.

[Volkonski]

https://www.ecr.co.za/shows/vic-naidoo/ ... ry-rhymes/

According to Sporcle, it isn’t too hard to spot the darker interpretation in this particular nursery rhyme. If the first pig went to the market to get slaughtered, then the “little piggy staying home” refers to a pig not yet ready to eat, and that must stay home to mature. The “little piggy having roast beef” is about fattening a pig up, while the fourth “piggy that gets none” is too small to go to the market. And perhaps most dark, that final little piggy is not singing “wee, wee, wee”, but rather crying in fright.

[raison de arizona]

A lot of nursery rhymes and children's tales are a bit dark, when one really looks at them.

[bill_g]

[Sam the Centipede]

A lot of nursery rhymes and children's tales are a bit dark, when one really looks at them.

No psychologist me, but I was intrigued by the idea that kids have awful nightmares because imagining and confrontating terrifying situations in one's slumber is infinitely safer than doing so later in adult life, so the nightmares prepare the young person for their uncertain future.

I wonder if the horrible children's tales (Grimm's etc.) are related to that? Or have parents often enjoyed their kids'suffering?

[Dave from down under]

Cautionary tales…

The boy who cried Wolf
Against lies

The three goats gruff
Against being unsatisfied with what you have
(And not being a troll )

[keith]

I learned a different line in the children's poem,

This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home.

Nothing about roast beef. I didn't get it, either.

There's five toes. The third one had Arby's for dinner.

You only learned about two? Are your feet missing a few toes?

[qbawl]

A particularly bad case of MTG syndrome.

[sugar magnolia]

A particularly bad case of MTG syndrome.

Literally LOLed at that. That's the funniest shit I've heard in several days!

[AndyinPA]

I learned it with roast beef.

[keith]

I learned a different line in the children's poem,

This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home.

Nothing about roast beef. I didn't get it, either.

There's five toes. The third one had Arby's for dinner.

You only learned about two? Are your feet missing a few toes?

Oh, sorry Foggy. Chickens don't have five toes, do they?

My bad.

[northland10]

Besides no roast beef, Foggy has to hold it in all these years. I decided earllier that the widdle piggy didn't say wee wee like the Geico commercial but went wee wee all the way home.

I ain't cleaning it up.

[bill_g]

Urine trouble.

[Dave from down under]

Kremlin says Russia will not meddle in 2024 US presidential election




https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-03-07/ ... /103557172

[raison de arizona]

A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says.

The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.

“What does that mean?” the blonde says.

“It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”

“Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”

The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”

“Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”

“Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”

She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.

A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”

“Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”

“Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”

[raison de arizona]

An old Irish man gets a new construction job. On his first day he is told to bring bricks back and forth in a wheelbarrow. He is working with a young, muscular guy who is doubling his load and tripling his pace. The young guy keeps taunting him 'come on, keep up', 'you can push more than that', 'maybe you're too old to be working here'. 

Finally, the Irish guy turns to the young guy and says 'I bet you a hundred bucks I can push something in this wheelbarrow that you can't.' 

The young guy, having seen the Irish man work, takes the bet. The old man grabs the wheelbarrow, dumps all the bricks out, and says 'okay, hop in.'

[Estiveo]

[MN-Skeptic]

Grandma had the best line.

[poplove]

IMG_1716.jpeg (89.38 KiB) Viewed 105 times

[zekeb]

Definitely. But you must have died a Mormon and reached the highest celestial heaven.