Justice with Lt. Root Beer and the 699th Airborne Assault Dachshund Regiment based at Der Dachshundbünker

[Gregg]

There are rumors that the 699th parachuted into Kentucky and did a fly over at a Bevin rally at potty time. The 699th continues it's winning streak! Thank you Lt Root Beer and your compatriots for this major victory... root beers for all!

Oh my, you don't know, do you?

The Imperial Illuminati Air Force is based at Illuminati World Headquarters, which is of course in beautiful Down Town Argillite, 41121.


Everyone knows that a small group of invisible elites secretly meet behind closed doors in a smoke filler room to rule the world from behind the scenes. Few know where the actual smoke filled room is located, though...



Also, the site of the Annual Illuminati Company Picnic!



There are rumors that security, provided by elite flying wiener dogs, is tight for the monthly Bark Box delivery, when the Puperoni Rations are hidden and where Colonel Chili Dog oversees operations in person. But all sources for that kind of thing are, of course, anonymous...

[Foggy]

Never confuse sausage goggies with muffin goggies. NEVER!

.

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[Northland10]

Never confuse sausage goggies with muffin goggies. NEVER!

.

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[Foggy]

[Whatever4]

The ground support unit?

Guy Photoshops Tiny Dog to Reflect How Big She Thinks She Is

A0CEC19C-AEE5-4ED9-A7B8-C6E910BE00BA.jpeg

https://mymodernmet.com/mitch-boyer-viv ... -brooklyn/

[Slim Cognito]

Because I've been dying to post this somewhere.

[Orlylicious]

I thought I saw the 699th represented in the background at Buckingham Palace in photos where Justin, Boris and Emmanuel were laughing at Donald. Gregg, was that Lt. Root Beer over there quaffing with Angela? It went really fast.

[Foggy]

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[RoadScholar]

I that the dachshundberghof in the background?

[Orlylicious]

How are the Fighting 699th celebrating Christmas? Holiday photos please!

I'd like to say thanks again:

After the 699th took on Jack Berkman and Jacob Wohl, they were destroyed.

After the 699th reported it at potty time, Karl Koenigs spent 16 days in four different Wisconsin jails.

After the 699th made their message clear, and had a Denny's shut down, Walt Fitzpatrick backed down and cowered to The Fogbow.

After the 699th made their position known, Democrats got behind them and impeached Donald.

We salute you, Lt. Root Beer and the Fighting 699th! Americans sleep better at night knowing the 699th are keeping us safe.

[Tiredretiredlawyer]

How are the Fighting 699th celebrating Christmas? Holiday photos please!

I'd like to say thanks again:

Montage of American grandeur scenes begins.

Choir softly sings America the Beautiful.

After the 699th took on Jack Berkman and Jacob Wohl, they were destroyed.

After the 699th reported it at potty time, Karl Koenigs spent 16 days in four different Wisconsin jails.

Choir volume gradually increases. Snare drums softly begin a march rhythm.

After the 699th made their message clear, and had a Denny's shut down, Walt Fitzpatrick backed down and cowered to The Fogbow.

Drums and choir join in loud volume. Begin low volume multiple timpani.

After the 699th made their position known, Democrats got behind them and impeached Donald.

As choir and drums and timpani continue at loud volume, shot of Mt. Rushmore appears. Five Fighting 699th aircraft in delta formation enter frame from behind the memorial and split in different directions when directly above the memorial leaving contrails of red, white and blue.

Battle of Iwa Gima appears with 699th soldiers in place of human soldiers.

We salute you, Lt. Root Beer and the Fighting 699th! Americans sleep better at night knowing the 699th are keeping us safe.

Iwa Gima dissolves to montage of flapping U.S. flags from across the country ending with closeup of one flag against a cloudless sky. Sopranos with choir end on highest note possible. Timpani play extended roll at loudest volume. Twenty cymbals crash. End.

[Orlylicious]

Awesome!!!

[JohnPCapitalist]

Props to Lt. Root Beer, to Chili Dog and the rest of the 699th for taking time off from combat readiness to spread holiday cheer to less fortunate Dachshunds.

https://cheezburger.com/10049029/one-hu ... -in-london

Merry Christmas!

[annrc]

Love it!

[Orlylicious]

Awesome story JPC!

Hoping Lt. Root Beer swings by the Fogbow to deliver some cheer!

[Gregg]

Happy Christmas from Der Dachshundbünker!

[Orlylicious]

Happy Christmas from Der Dachshundbünker!

Yay!! Love them!!

They look so sweet you'd never know they were vicious killers bringing justice and retribution as only they can. Beware evildoers:

There's no need to fear! The 699th is here!

When criminals in this world appear
and break the laws that they should fear
and frighten all who see or hear
the cry goes up both far and near
for the 699th! 699th! 699th! 699th!

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
fighting all who rob or plunder
The 699th! 699th!

When in this world the headlines read
of those whose hearts are filled with greed
who rob and steal from those who need
to right this wrong with blinding speed
goes the 699th! 699th! 699th! 699th!

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder
fighting all who rob or plunder
The 699th! 699th!

Another big salute to the 699th!

[Foggy]

The mighty 699th was recently conducting roundup operations, somewhere on the African plain ...

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[Gregg]

PETA is really pissed at us for what happened to that Rhino.

We're gonna have to start using simulators and interns for training.

[Northland10]

Remember this guy, the Rancor?


He may be attached to the mighty regiment.

https://www.starwars.com/news/creature- ... ut-rancors

3. Rancors can be cute. Or not.

The rancor has a frightening countenance, but the creature gets even scarier when it growls. The beast’s guttural noise has an unlikely source: a tiny, little dachshund. Sound designer Ben Burtt turned to his neighbors’ dog Max to record the rancor. Burtt explains in The Sounds of Star Wars: “I recorded Max as he growled and hissed and then I pitched that down much lower for the roars and howls of the lumbering rancor.”

[qbawl]

Candydate for promotion to the 699th Airborne Assault Daschund Regiment Drum and Bugle corp?

[kate520]

[Orlylicious]

We might need the Rabbit Lobby to help mediate this potential disaster between the 699th and Squirrels... Just let Rusty, the Space Force Squirrel, know that maybe Rabbits can help. Make love not war!

[Gregg]

you should see them order coffee...



or food...

[Slim Cognito]

laughed. out. loud.
Thanks, I needed that.