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MojoSapien
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Spill this.

#1

Post by MojoSapien » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:33 pm

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asked, "What's it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decided to come over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread out on the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we are not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax, let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."



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RTH10260
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Re: Spill this.

#2

Post by RTH10260 » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:40 pm

:think: now what to do until breakfast time :bored:



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Suranis
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Re: Spill this.

#3

Post by Suranis » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:40 pm

A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.

He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, “For best results, put on two coats.”


Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.

batguano
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Re: Spill this.

#4

Post by batguano » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:52 pm

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brown?

A. Artificial intelligence



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MN-Skeptic
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Re: Spill this.

#5

Post by MN-Skeptic » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:04 am

True story:

My brother was in shop class (7th grade?) when the teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. My brother then used that time to amuse his classmates with Polish jokes. When the teacher came back, the boys were still laughing.

Teacher: What's so funny?

Brother: Oh, I was just sharing some Polish jokes.

Teacher: I hope you realize that some of us are of Polish descent.

Brother: That's ok. I tell them slow.


MAGA - Morons Are Governing America

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dunstvangeet
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Re: Spill this.

#6

Post by dunstvangeet » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:05 am

A smart blonde is driving in her convertable and looks out the side of the car and sees a dumb blonde in the middle of a dry field, in a row boat, just rowing away. She is annoyed because this is the type of blonde that gives her a bad name and goes into the stereotypes. So, she decides to do something about it.

She gets out of the car, goes over to the edge of the dry field, and yells, "Hey, you're the blonde that gives us other blondes a bad name. If I knew how to swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt."
-----------------------------------------------------
A blonde walks into a barbershop. The barber offers to cut her hair in 1 minute, 30 seconds. She says, "okay", and takes off her headphones and sets them down. Now, 1 minute, 29 seconds later, the blonde turns blue, falls over and dies. The barber being curious picks up the headphones and starts listening. All he hears is a voice just repeating, "Breathe in, Breathe out, Breathe in, Breathe out."
----------------------------------------------------
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular room, and tell her to go stand in the corner.
--------------------------------------------------
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.



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maydijo
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Re: Spill this.

#7

Post by maydijo » Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:25 am

A blonde kid I babysat years ago came back with this one -

Why do brunettes stuff their bras with Kleenex?

So they have something to cry into when the blondes get all the guys.



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RoadScholar
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Re: Spill this.

#8

Post by RoadScholar » Wed Dec 05, 2018 6:10 am

Why did the boss fire her blonde secretary?

She got tired of seeing WiteOut on the computer screen.


The bitterest truth is healthier than the sweetest lie.
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Foggy
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Re: Spill this.

#9

Post by Foggy » Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:20 am

Last night at the Wake County Democrat's potluck Christmas party I got a few moments to talk with my friend Allegra Collins, who was elected to the NC Court of Appeals last month. She spent some hours campaigning at the NC State Fair booth while I was there, and her mom and dad both campaigned there on the following days.



Mr. William L. Bryan is the root of a great deal of criminal mischief.
And yet, Mr. Bryan remains at large. :mrgreen:

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RVInit
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Re: Spill this.

#10

Post by RVInit » Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:24 am

Foggy wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:20 am
Last night at the Wake County Democrat's potluck Christmas party I got a few moments to talk with my friend Allegra Collins, who was elected to the NC Court of Appeals last month. She spent some hours campaigning at the NC State Fair booth while I was there, and her mom and dad both campaigned there on the following days.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :bighug: :lovestruck:


"I know that human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
--- George W Bush

ImageImage

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Foggy
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Re: Spill this.

#11

Post by Foggy » Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:35 am

Yeah, not all a them blondies are dumb. :fingerwag: That's a mighty smart lady, right there.


Mr. William L. Bryan is the root of a great deal of criminal mischief.
And yet, Mr. Bryan remains at large. :mrgreen:

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RoadScholar
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Re: Spill this.

#12

Post by RoadScholar » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:21 am

Totally. Mrs. Roadscholar is a blonde who graduated HS 2nd in a class of almost 1000, got her Doctorate from Catholic U. and is a published author of a non-fiction book about teaching Literary Criticism.


The bitterest truth is healthier than the sweetest lie.
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RVInit
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Re: Spill this.

#13

Post by RVInit » Wed Dec 05, 2018 4:18 pm

RoadScholar wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:21 am
Totally. Mrs. Roadscholar is a blonde who graduated HS 2nd in a class of almost 1000, got her Doctorate from Catholic U. and is a published author of a non-fiction book about teaching Literary Criticism.
:dance: Very cool.


"I know that human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
--- George W Bush

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SLQ
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Re: Spill this.

#14

Post by SLQ » Wed Dec 05, 2018 4:21 pm

Foggy wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:20 am
Last night at the Wake County Democrat's potluck Christmas party I got a few moments to talk with my friend Allegra Collins, who was elected to the NC Court of Appeals last month. She spent some hours campaigning at the NC State Fair booth while I was there, and her mom and dad both campaigned there on the following days.

:bighug:


"Try not. Do or do not. There is no try."
-- Yoda

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Maybenaut
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Re: Spill this.

#15

Post by Maybenaut » Wed Dec 05, 2018 5:50 pm

RoadScholar wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:21 am
Totally. Mrs. Roadscholar is a blonde who graduated HS 2nd in a class of almost 1000, got her Doctorate from Catholic U. and is a published author of a non-fiction book about teaching Literary Criticism.
I have met Mrs. Roadscholar. She’s delightful!



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RoadScholar
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Re: Spill this.

#16

Post by RoadScholar » Wed Dec 05, 2018 7:23 pm

:kiss:


The bitterest truth is healthier than the sweetest lie.
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Sam the Centipede
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Re: Spill this.

#17

Post by Sam the Centipede » Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:58 pm

RoadScholar wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:21 am
Totally. Mrs. Roadscholar is a blonde who graduated HS 2nd in a class of almost 1000, got her Doctorate from Catholic U. and is a published author of a non-fiction book about teaching Literary Criticism.
Made me wonder whether there are non-non-fiction books about teaching Literary Criticism ... then I remembered watching the movie of Educating Rita :doh:

And yes, I do know that it was a play rather than a novel.

Perhaps there's still room for Lit Crit to have its own John Grisham? Semiotics has Umberto Eco at the high end and Dan Brown at the low end. Mrs. RS could find a niche in her field! Or are there already too many such authors?



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RoadScholar
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Re: Spill this.

#18

Post by RoadScholar » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:49 pm

Her book is Teaching Literary Criticism Using Film Adaptations.

The central idea is: It’s near-impossible to expect undergraduates to read the primary sources of the major critical fields... Sartre? Derrida? Gertude Stein? Freud? Karl Marx? Yikes. But if you have students read a book, story, or even poem, and then watch a movie based on the work, they can readily see how the movie interpreted it in a distinct fashion— i.e. the movie took a Feminist, Marxist, Deconstructionist, Existential, Psychoanalytic, etc. view in its re-presentation of the literature. And so without them hardly even realizing it, her undergrad students were delving into and participating in Lit. Crit.

She finished her Doctorate later in life, so she was able to turn this classroom experience into a Dissertation, and then was encouraged by her advisors to submit a book proposal to McFarland Press.

Not bad for a blonde. :sarcasm:


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Sam the Centipede
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Re: Spill this.

#19

Post by Sam the Centipede » Thu Dec 06, 2018 3:14 am

Perhaps she secretly dyes her hair?



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