5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

User avatar
Foggy
Posts: 27096
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:00 pm
Location: Fogbow HQ
Occupation: Dick Tater

5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#1

Post by Foggy » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:34 am

I don't have time to do this one justice, but you need to panic right now because our old friend the Mighty Spork has a new screed that is CHOCK FULL of nutty goodness.

Don't bother killing your cell phone, that won't save you! :fingerwag:


Mr. William L. Bryan is the root of a great deal of criminal mischief. And yet, Mr. Bryan remains at large.

User avatar
Tiredretiredlawyer
Posts: 7507
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 2:56 pm
Location: Animal Planet
Occupation: Permanent probationary slave to 2 dogs, 1 cat, and 1 horse

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#2

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer » Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:23 am

:panic: :panic: :panic: :panic:

Cell towers! Cell towers!


"The people must know before they can act, and there is no educator to compare with the press." - Ida B. Wells-Barnett, journalist, newspaper editor, suffragist, feminist and founder with others of NAACP.

User avatar
Notorial Dissent
Posts: 10853
Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2013 8:21 pm

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#3

Post by Notorial Dissent » Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:59 am

Is there any hope it'll render Sporky infertile???? Now that I'd consider to be an undocumented feature.


The fact that you sincerely and wholeheartedly believe that the “Law of Gravity” is unconstitutional and a violation of your sovereign rights, does not absolve you of adherence to it.

User avatar
Sam the Centipede
Posts: 6188
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2012 3:25 pm

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#4

Post by Sam the Centipede » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:01 am

I like Sporky's disclaimer:
Before I begin, I’d like to start by telling you that I’m not on drugs, I’m not mental or diagnosed to be mentally ill under any pretense. I also am not uneducated (I attended 12 semesters of college, as most Americans did, with passing scores), nor am I stupid (I sport a respectable 145 I.Q.). Let me also be clear, I don’t want your money, and I’m not trying to sell you anything.
The first bit reminds me of Spike Milligan's "I'm not mad and I have a certificate to prove it!" (or something like that ... perhaps by someone else).

Anyway, most of us don't feel the need to preface our contributions with a declaration of sanity!



User avatar
ZekeB
Posts: 14783
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:07 pm
Location: Northwest part of Semi Blue State

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#5

Post by ZekeB » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:06 am

Sam the Centipede wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:01 am
Anyway, most of us don't feel the need to preface our contributions with a declaration of sanity!
Donald Trump do!


Ano, jsou opravdové. - Stormy Daniels

Nech mě domluvit! - Orly Taitz

User avatar
RTH10260
Posts: 17990
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:52 am
Location: Near the Swiss Alps

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#6

Post by RTH10260 » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:14 am

Did the guy already jump on the fact that the current definition of the 5G protocolls are terribly insecure? The Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich has just released a paper on their analysis of the stuff!!!
► Show Spoiler



User avatar
Mikedunford
Posts: 9680
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:42 pm

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#7

Post by Mikedunford » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:53 am

I love the phrase "attended 12 semesters of college, as most Americans did, with paying scores."

Let's see:
1: he doesn't say "graduated"
2: I'm not sure most Americans have attended college.
3: for those who have, I suspect the norm is 8 semesters, not 12.

And there's probably more there I can't be bothered to find.


"I don't give a fuck whether we're peers or not."
--Lord Thomas Henry Bingham to Boris Johnson, on being asked whether he would miss being in "the best club in London" if the Law Lords moved from Parliament to a Supreme Court.

User avatar
ZekeB
Posts: 14783
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:07 pm
Location: Northwest part of Semi Blue State

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#8

Post by ZekeB » Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:59 am

I thought the article was a spoof/satire.


Ano, jsou opravdové. - Stormy Daniels

Nech mě domluvit! - Orly Taitz

User avatar
Volkonski
Posts: 18753
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:44 pm
Location: Texas Gulf Coast and North Fork of Long Island
Occupation: Retired Mechanical Engineer

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#9

Post by Volkonski » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:04 am

Foggy wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:34 am
I don't have time to do this one justice, but you need to panic right now because our old friend the Mighty Spork has a new screed that is CHOCK FULL of nutty goodness.

Don't bother killing your cell phone, that won't save you! :fingerwag:
That goes way beyond mere nuttiness. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

A smartphone that consumes 20 watts of power? With today's battery technology? :rotflmao: In any case the energy needed to transmit a given amount of data goes down at higher frequencies.


Image“If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war.”
― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

User avatar
Whip
Posts: 2925
Joined: Mon Nov 09, 2015 12:31 pm

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#10

Post by Whip » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:19 am

Mikedunford wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:53 am
I love the phrase "attended 12 semesters of college, as most Americans did, with paying scores."

Let's see:
1: he doesn't say "graduated"
2: I'm not sure most Americans have attended college.
3: for those who have, I suspect the norm is 8 semesters, not 12.

And there's probably more there I can't be bothered to find.
most of the Americans that didn't attend at all are smarter than he is. :-D



User avatar
GlimDropper
Posts: 1389
Joined: Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:35 pm

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#11

Post by GlimDropper » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:46 am

Let me see here:

~Spend huge amounts of money designing and constructing an improved phone network.

~That will also kill all of your customers.

~Profit!!!

:roll:



Mr Brolin
Posts: 123
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2018 4:03 am

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#12

Post by Mr Brolin » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:53 am

I read the screed and lead with....


Image



User avatar
Estiveo
Posts: 7396
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:31 pm
Location: Trouble's Howse

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#13

Post by Estiveo » Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:55 pm

There's a simple palliative for the 5G.
Sekrit Stuffs!
c493f473c4a46f31e22c70c3d979a1ea.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.


Image Image Image Image Image

User avatar
Foggy
Posts: 27096
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:00 pm
Location: Fogbow HQ
Occupation: Dick Tater

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#14

Post by Foggy » Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:43 pm

The thing is, when 5G is implemented in the US, EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE an incredibly gruesome death, and they recently implemented it in China and nobody died BUT they're living under COMMUNISM (and you will be shocked to learn that China has not yet fully implemented 5G, although in some ways they're ahead of the US and Europe).


Mr. William L. Bryan is the root of a great deal of criminal mischief. And yet, Mr. Bryan remains at large.

Somerset
Posts: 3792
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2009 5:52 am
Location: Silicon Valley
Occupation: Lab rat

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#15

Post by Somerset » Thu Oct 11, 2018 7:06 pm

Foggy wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 3:43 pm
(and you will be shocked to learn that China has not yet fully implemented 5G, although in some ways they're ahead of the US and Europe).
Since there are no 5G handsets at the moment...

;)



User avatar
Whip
Posts: 2925
Joined: Mon Nov 09, 2015 12:31 pm

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#16

Post by Whip » Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:16 pm

the people that he insists on annoying should put '5G' stickers on their phones and pick them up making believe they are using them when they see him coming.



User avatar
P.K.
Posts: 784
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:42 am
Location: Second star to the right, and straight on till morning.
Occupation: Actor. Legal Secretary. Cat Servant.
Contact:

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#17

Post by P.K. » Fri Oct 12, 2018 12:19 am

Mikedunford wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:53 am
I love the phrase "attended 12 semesters of college, as most Americans did, with paying scores."

Let's see:
1: he doesn't say "graduated"
2: I'm not sure most Americans have attended college.
3: for those who have, I suspect the norm is 8 semesters, not 12.

And there's probably more there I can't be bothered to find.
My college was on the quarter system at the time (it’s since switched to the semester system). So 12 quarters was four years (three quarters for the regular school year, with summer being the fourth). But I don’t say I attended 12 quarters, I just say I graduated.


IANALBIPOOTV - I am not a lawyer, but I've played one on TV. In fact, IANA (fill in the blank) but chances are I've played on on TV.

DmitriNotPetra
Posts: 258
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2018 9:28 pm

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#18

Post by DmitriNotPetra » Fri Oct 12, 2018 1:00 am

This guy is legitimately mentally ill. I hope he gets the help he needs.



User avatar
Gregg
Posts: 1724
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2014 6:09 am
Location: Cincinnati, OH USA
Occupation: We build cars

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#19

Post by Gregg » Fri Oct 12, 2018 3:31 am

Whip wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:19 am
Mikedunford wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:53 am
I love the phrase "attended 12 semesters of college, as most Americans did, with paying scores."

Let's see:
1: he doesn't say "graduated"
2: I'm not sure most Americans have attended college.
3: for those who have, I suspect the norm is 8 semesters, not 12.

And there's probably more there I can't be bothered to find.
most of the Americans that didn't attend at all are smarter than he is. :-D

Most Americans, that attended college or not, have houseplants that are smarter than he is.


Honorary Commander, 699th Airborne Assault Dachshund Regiment
Deadly Sausage Dogs from the Sky

User avatar
Bill_G
Posts: 544
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2018 9:10 am
Location: Portland OR
Occupation: I work at being pleasantly surprised everyday.

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#20

Post by Bill_G » Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:01 am

Volkonski wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:04 am

A smartphone that consumes 20 watts of power? With today's battery technology? :rotflmao: In any case the energy needed to transmit a given amount of data goes down at higher frequencies.
But wait - There's more!
People will disconbobulate in the streets using this technology. It's 60ghz frequency will split the water molecules in your body. Straight out of a horror movie. Just a crumple of wet clothes on the ground, and a phone with someone saying "Hello? Hello?".
The new internet frequency is going to be 60 GHz in speed. 60 GHz, by the by, just happens to be the PRECISE frequency that causes your body’s water cells to do a jig; and in the process, causes them to stop binding to oxygen.



User avatar
RoadScholar
Posts: 7358
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 10:25 am
Location: Baltimore
Occupation: Historic Restoration Woodworker
Contact:

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#21

Post by RoadScholar » Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:12 am

5498E82C-0F38-4552-957D-61BAF76B9E5E.jpeg
4A818F16-C36B-4E1D-A9D0-CD5A13539AC1.jpeg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.


The bitterest truth is healthier than the sweetest lie.
X3

User avatar
Sluffy1
Posts: 395
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:35 pm

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#22

Post by Sluffy1 » Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:42 am

I learned something today that I've occasionally wondered about.
The G stands for generation.



User avatar
dunstvangeet
Posts: 491
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:53 am

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#23

Post by dunstvangeet » Fri Oct 12, 2018 6:45 am

Mikedunford wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:53 am
I love the phrase "attended 12 semesters of college, as most Americans did, with paying scores."

Let's see:
1: he doesn't say "graduated"
2: I'm not sure most Americans have attended college.
3: for those who have, I suspect the norm is 8 semesters, not 12.

And there's probably more there I can't be bothered to find.
Actually, the average time it looks like is 5.1 years to finish a bachelor's degree (National Student Clearing House). Of course, this includes part-time students.

It also depends upon the field. For instance, in Accounting, a student may choose to specifically not graduate until they get their 5th year credits in order to qualify for the CPA exam. But you're right, he doesn't say "graduate".



User avatar
Foggy
Posts: 27096
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:00 pm
Location: Fogbow HQ
Occupation: Dick Tater

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#24

Post by Foggy » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:05 am

He may not have studied electronic engineering, I'd wager. :lol:


Mr. William L. Bryan is the root of a great deal of criminal mischief. And yet, Mr. Bryan remains at large.

User avatar
Estiveo
Posts: 7396
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:31 pm
Location: Trouble's Howse

Re: 5G wireless will make Earthlings extinct! (The Mighty Spork)

#25

Post by Estiveo » Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:10 am

12 semesters of creative writing for that?


Image Image Image Image Image

Post Reply

Return to “Science & Technology”