Bill_G, retired, affluence of effluent, and errata

[AndyinPA]

You could tell on the recent avatar that she was gorgeous.

[BeastofBourbon]

Beautiful pictures, Bill. Thank you for sharing them. My condolences to you and your family.

[bill_g]

This week's drama is titled Clorox and the Sack of Sacks.

So, I've been doing all the house cleaning for the past couple years, and the first step in the bathrooms is to pour a cup of bleach into the toilets. Swish it around and let that sit for an hour or so to work on the mold we get around here. Even if you don't use the toilet, it will turn brown in a couple weeks and look like you never clean it. Clorine tablets in the tank do nothing to stop it. It can be sparkling on the outside, and still be a biology experiment in the bowl. Bleach takes care of that. But not Clorox.

Pour in the cheap no-name brand bleach, and you can almost watch the mold disappear before your eyes. The bowl is perfectly clean all by itself in an hour. No fuss. No mess. Pour in Clorox No-Splash Formula, and the water turns milky white, but never fazes the mold. It smells like bleach. It wants to melt your skin like bleach. It whitens wash cloths like bleach. Mold just laughs at it. Doubling the amount doesn't help. The brown patina covering the porceline under water is unchanged.

I am not a chemical engineer. I have no idea what the difference is, but the bathrooms are getting the cheap stuff from now on. The Clorox is strickly for the laundry.

Bit by bit, tub by tub, box by box, I am working my way through My Dearest's crafting collection in the third bedroom. It is literally floor to ceiling with yarn, bolts of cloth, embroidery thread in a hundred weights and tones, sewing patterns, crochet patterns, knitting needles, crochet needles, sewing needles, sewing machines, sergers, looms, stretchers, pins, pans, pots, soap fragrance, soap molds, candy molds, candy thermometers, cake decorating stuff, tole painting stuff, quilting stuff, jewelry making stuff, receipts from Walgreens in 2002, boxes of pens in a dozen colors with replacement ink cartridges, staplers, file folders, stationary, tape, tape, and more tape. I will never run out of tape.

And a sack of sacks. Neatly folded sorted by size and color. Her OCD must have been at 11 and the knob broke off that day. Packed as a cube, stowed in a plastic tub so they wouldn't get dirty, and placed on the tippy toppest shelf because it's so light. I was laughing and crying at the same time. That tub was totally her. There is nothing special about these bags. They are just bags from the stores she shopped at to buy all these things. I looked through them twice to ensure she hadn't hidden something special in there. Nope. It's just sacks. And they are all mine now.

Tomorrow is garbage day. Both the trash and recyling bins are full already. The sacks will get to stay for another week. In the meantime I need to sort her tubs (plural) of electrical cords, chargers, cables, wires, and various doodads that run on electrons. Good times await me for sure.

[sugar magnolia]

If you are too overwhelmed to try to sort and sell the stuff individually, hang onto those bags and sell stuff by the bag. $5 for this little bag, all you can fit in it. $10 for that big bag. If you don't want to deal with all the people who will show up for a craft sale (it will be a tsunami of people, all wanting you to give the stuff away) you can always contact local quilting, weaving, etc guilds and donate it. They'll come pack it and haul it off for you and don't usually dig through it for specific stuff. Call the local quilt guild and 6 women with boxes will show up, clean out the quilting supplies and leave with smiles and many thanks. I can only guess the other guilds would be the same.

[Slim Cognito]

Sounds familiar, only in my case it was the garage and tools. So. Many. Tools! Also, two project cars, both 66 Valiant convertibles. It's all gone now and the garage looks great! But it also looks sad.

Just keep chipping away and when you're sick of it walk away. It's not going anywhere.

[BeastofBourbon]

"And they are all mine now." Thanks for the laugh, Bill.

[bill_g]

If you are too overwhelmed to try to sort and sell the stuff individually, hang onto those bags and sell stuff by the bag. $5 for this little bag, all you can fit in it. $10 for that big bag. If you don't want to deal with all the people who will show up for a craft sale (it will be a tsunami of people, all wanting you to give the stuff away) you can always contact local quilting, weaving, etc guilds and donate it. They'll come pack it and haul it off for you and don't usually dig through it for specific stuff. Call the local quilt guild and 6 women with boxes will show up, clean out the quilting supplies and leave with smiles and many thanks. I can only guess the other guilds would be the same.

Oh, leave it to Sugar to figure it out. Mrs dreamed of the day she would hold a grand yard sale. That must be why she kept the bags. She loathed the idea of giving it all to Goodwill et al. There are crafting groups around here, and she was a member of several. I've found mailing lists with names, addresses, and phone numbers. I should cold call them to see if they are still alive and desire some of this. Good idea.

Thank you Sugar!

[bill_g]

Sounds familiar, only in my case it was the garage and tools. So. Many. Tools! Also, two project cars, both 66 Valiant convertibles. It's all gone now and the garage looks great! But it also looks sad.

Just keep chipping away and when you're sick of it walk away. It's not going anywhere.

Love your Pug in curls.

True. The stuff ain't going anywhere. I really don't want the living room to become the Mississippi Delta again. The house would be all picked up and ready for the Good Housekeeping home of the year photo shoot. And then she'd start a project. Everything in that room would come out so she could find what she needed. Tubs with their lids off stacked in every chair. I'd tape a note to the front door telling people to use the back door because we blocked the front door with stuff. Within a week, a couple weeks, maybe a month, she would grow weary of having to navigate the piles, and one by one they would go back to their respective places in the room. This was the room she had intended to do her crafting in until she ran out of room because of all her stuff. Now it's just a big closet. Walk-in is not easily applied to this space.

I'm hoping to remedy that.

[bill_g]

"And they are all mine now." Thanks for the laugh, Bill.

De nada. It has been interesting to go through what I have so far, and some of it has been redunkculous. It brings back good memories too. Have not found the photo albums yet. Or mice, spiders, and black mold. Fingers crossed.

[Rolodex]

Just a PSA regarding bleach:

Splash-free Clorox isn't like regular clorox. It does bleach clothes in the laundry but it will not sanitize or disinfect (the concentration is lower). But cheap regular bleach is the same as regular Clorox, just...cheaper. I learned this during the pandemic when I wanted to make my own reusable wipes. All I had was splashless and my physician spouse told me it didn't disinfect when I went to make my 5:1 solution of bleach water for my wipes (I sprayed thin washcloths and put them in zip lock baggies for when we went out of the house - I hate hand sanitizer and disposable wipes).

I live in a humid climate with hard water and have trouble with toilet bowl ick, too. We found a fix that works for longer than a week. The mold grows on the hard water mineral build-up on the side of the bowl. First you want to make sure you don't have a slow leak going down the sides of the bowl (check an unused toilet after a couple of days and see if the bowl is totally dry down to the water. If it's wet, you have another problem).

The mold you can't see is the real culprit, though. Inside the rim is where that nastiness is. You can't see it, but you can see (use a mirror or your phone to see) the small holes on the underside of the rim - it's where the water comes out when you flush. It's impossible to see inside there, so...what to do?

Disinfecting and cleaning the mold out of the inside of the rim: use a small fish tank-type or garden pump. You'll use your cheap or non-splashless Clorox for this bit. Run tubing into the toilet using the "tube" part in the tank (you don't want bleach in your tank bc it harms the other parts there and I've replaced enough flappers and balls to never use bleach or bleach products in the tank). Run the pump for a few hours.
Here's a video which shows it better than I can explain. And yes we've done this and it actually helps slow the buildup in the bowl!


(sorry for the long toilet post but I got on a toilet cleaning crusade a couple of years ago and tried everything. I also swear by pumice stones)

[MN-Skeptic]

My husband passed away in 2018. I finally finished going through everything this past summer. So many boxes! So many tools! So much electronics gear! Actually, I still have to go through the electronics, but at least it's on one shelving unit and in plastic bins. But I understand exactly why Bill says that it's all now his. My sweetie isn't here to use his 2-stage snowblower or his car jack or his torque wrench or any of a hundred other things which I would never use but which have real value to friends and family. So it was my responsibility to find new homes for those things.

We have Goodwill here, but we also have a local charity which has a few thrift stores and most of my donations went to them. I had a stack of paper grocery bags and they said they would love them. They can use them to bag up purchases. That's better than just recycling them! So, just another idea of what you can do with them.

[AndyinPA]

Same issue here. And he's been gone nine months. The cars are out of sight as they are at a remote location five miles away, but the garage, his den, and the loft are still filled with his stuff. I go into the den, and I don't know where to start, and even when I do, the sciatica stops me after an hour or two. I am frustrated to still be looking at this stuff. I don't even know what most of it is. He had a lot of tools, gadgets, and papers. I have a company that will haul it all away, but it has to be sorted in some manner first. Jurassic Junk says it will come with an empty truck and go from there. A friend who was widowed four years ago reminded me very early that it's all mine now, but that hasn't helped.

On top of that, I've found out that he had so many investments. I've been able to handle the major one pretty easily, but other little stuff keeps coming up. I have no idea why he would have complicated his life like this, but that's mine now, too. I can't leave that mess for the kids. He just hired a new accountant last year, so that will probably help with the IRS next year. I remember so clearly in the few weeks after he died standing in the den, and saying, "I've got this," but I had no idea what I was talking about. I have spent days on the phone with these companies, getting absolutely nothing accomplished. On one call, I talked to twelve different people, all giving me different advice, only to end up back at the beginning with nothing resolved.

On the plus side, contractors start next month on all new front and back decks and all new siding and a new roof over the front deck. I made all the decisions myself, many of which I don't think he would have agreed with. But it is my house now.

I'm going to have to hire a new estate attorney after the new year and when I get to feeling better to have to go after some stuff that I couldn't get to in time. My current attorney kept telling me there's no hurry to any of this stuff, but when you're my age, there is.

Rant and whine over.

[Frater I*I]

Rant and whine over.

Bring it anytime...we're here for ya

[neonzx]

Same issue here. And he's been gone nine months.

IANAL, but move everything into a family trust. My father advised family and friends to do that yet he never did for himself. That is why it took more than 3 years to navigate probate of his estate.

Good luck. Love you woman.

[AndyinPA]

Same issue here. And he's been gone nine months.

IANAL, but move everything into a family trust. My father advised family and friends to do that yet he never did for himself. That is why it took more than 3 years to navigate probate of his estate.

Good luck. Love you woman.

There is a trust. He didn't put these things into it.

[neonzx]

Same issue here. And he's been gone nine months.

IANAL, but move everything into a family trust. My father advised family and friends to do that yet he never did for himself. That is why it took more than 3 years to navigate probate of his estate.

Good luck. Love you woman.

There is a trust. He didn't put these things into it.

I do now recall there was a trust but your hubbie did not put his collectable cars in that. And you had to jump through some hoops.

[bill_g]

I'll consider that. I finally got an attorney to return a call and discuss my/our probate issues. We never had a will. I'm an idiot in denial is my excuse. But this lady got a lot accomplished today. More next week.

Oregon is not being a community property state, but you do have to wait 30 days before you can file for probate (if necessary). The two things we were both signators was her car and the house. Since we are married, both fall to me. Meaning the most expensive items are off the table making probate a simple small estate affidavit.

I have my bank accounts and pension plans. She had hers, and her combined checking and savings totaled well under the $75K small estate threashold. Once again allowing a small estate affidavit.

She had a single outstanding balance of $16K on a credit card with the same bank. They are the only creditor of record. Because Oregon is not a community property state, I am under no obligation to pay her debts. But they can go after her estate which brings us back to the house and the car. And once again the amount is low enough to not trigger a probate. So, we plan to notify the bank that I'll assume her bank account balances, write them a check to satisfy her debt with them, and then close all three accounts.

Keeping it simple.

The big hurdle will be the medical bills. So far Healthnet/Wellcare had paid everything. But, my experience is this medical group can be really slow about getting the billing out. We've gotten six month old bills from them before. So, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

My new atty is also an estate planner and elder care specialist. She came recommended by my DIL who is a CFP with Edward Jones. DIL also suggested a family trust. I might as well get it done while my mind is on the subject.

[sugar magnolia]

When my dad died last year my mother was left with hundreds of model railroad trains. Trains, books, photos, indexed slides, blue prints for engines, historical crap and godonlyknows what else. She doesn't know the difference between an engine and a boxcar so she called the local model railroad group and they came and looked at what she had. One guy came for the books, one came for the unopened cars, one came for the layout stuff, etc. Each one went through what he had, pulled out the valuable stuff to be sold and just hauled off the rest of it. They even arranged for collectors to buy most of the valuable stuff. My mom made several thousand dollars from the sales and got all the "crap" out of her house with the least amount of stress.

My brother and I have slowly been winnowing down his massive tool collection by simply taking some home every time we visit her. Most of his tools are for miniature work but I got a great bandsaw and drill press on my last visit and my brother got a lathe he uses for making his cigar box guitars. She also doesn't know the difference between a hammer and a wrench. I repaired her screen door a couple of weeks ago and she had to go buy a screwdriver because she couldn't find one. He had about 10 full sets of everything from flat head to star head.

[pipistrelle]

I just have a lot of crap, none of which is organized or valuable. I have to do something soon as I'm not going to live forever. Worst case scenario is that whatever's left of my relations will have to hire someone (with my money) to haul it away...but still am working on it to make less painful.

[bill_g]

Just a PSA regarding bleach:
(snip)

Interesting. Does the aquarium pump survive the bleach or does it become a consumable in the process?

Mrs was a big believer in clorine tablets for the tanks, and I learned how to fix toilets shortly after she began doing that. It took me a while to put 2+2 together. Plus they never really seemed to stop the mold.

[bill_g]

My husband passed away in 2018.

I've been pruning my accrual of stuff forever. At least once every five years I go through my closet to get rid of clothes, my shed to get rid of junk, and my file cabinet to get rid of old records. I keep a few childhood memories, and some neato tech things like my first laptop that still runs. The kids will still have the same problem everyone has when their parents die, and they have an estate to deal with - a house full of used furniture, appliances, and clothes that nobody wants. There are no simple solutions.

Same issue here. And he's been gone nine months.
Rant and whine over.

Forgiven. Rant away. I hear you and I'm listening. That's what we're here for.

[bill_g]

When my dad died last year my mother was left with hundreds of model railroad trains.

Yeah. Unlike your Dad and my Wife, I don't have any hobbies like that, that grow and accumulate stuff over time. I don't know how to stop working. I'm always busy cleaning, maintaining, fixing, etc. My To Do list never runs out. And I don't get romantic with my possessions. I keep what I need and give the rest away, or sell it if I think it's worth the effort.

I want to sort out her finished creations from her partial projects. She made some really pretty things that the kids, the grands, and the great grands might like. But dammit, I have paintings my Mother made, and carvings my Father made. And I have some of his Father's tools. And some her Mother's dishes. Where do those go?

I'm going to stop here before I look over the edge of that deep crevasse.

[Slim Cognito]

I have a good friend, who is an organizer. That’s her profession. She’s done several of those hoarding situations. Every year she posts a PSA on her Facebook page reminding all of her friends to, fer Gawd’s sake, get rid of your crap!

Depending on your own personal finances, most families aren’t in a situation where they can leisurely dig through stuff. Especially if you live out of state like I do.

I’ve been desperately taking boxes to thrift stores for a couple of years now, more so since Hubs passed. Not just to help my kids when I inevitably pass on, but I plan to move across the country sometime in the next 18 months so this crap has got to go.

So much of Hub’s stuff went to a junk dealer, not because he was giving me good prices but he was honest with me that he had to resell everything for a profit, and I respected his upfront honesty as opposed to the guys who came into the garage, their eyes lighting up, and then turning to me, and saying, “it’s your lucky day little lady, I’m gonna haul this junk away for you and I won’t charge you a dime.” (for those of you who know me personally, yes, that went about as well for them as you’d expect.) The junk dealer even refused to buy a few larger things telling me I’d do much better if I sold them on Facebook and he even gave me some suggestions on how to list them.

Anyhoo, I guess I’m saying if you’re not concerned with getting top dollar, and if you are in a hurry like I am, and if you could find a good junk dealer, someone who will be upfront with you, let him or her take the bulk of it. But that’s just how it worked out for me. I know everyone’s situation is different.

My son is engaged to a wonderful woman who also happens to be a costume designer/wedding gown designer back in KC. If something were to happen to me before I leave Florida, and I still have an entire walk in closet full of crazy, flashy, shiny costumes for my dance troupe, I think she’s gonna have a blast.

[Rolodex]

Just a PSA regarding bleach:
(snip)

Interesting. Does the aquarium pump survive the bleach or does it become a consumable in the process?

Mrs was a big believer in clorine tablets for the tanks, and I learned how to fix toilets shortly after she began doing that. It took me a while to put 2+2 together. Plus they never really seemed to stop the mold.

We have 5 toilets at our home and used this method in 3 of them (not sure why the others don't have this problem). Just ran water through the pump for a few minutes after the bleach cleanse and the pump worked fine for the next use.
Sorry to hijack with such a long OT post. I know you have bigger issues. I'm so sorry for what you're going through now.

[bill_g]

We have 5 toilets at our home and used this method in 3 of them (not sure why the others don't have this problem). Just ran water through the pump for a few minutes after the bleach cleanse and the pump worked fine for the next use.
Sorry to hijack with such a long OT post. I know you have bigger issues. I'm so sorry for what you're going through now.

Thanks. No worries about a hijack. This is pretty much an open thread as you can tell. And you stayed on topic because I brought up toilet cleaning. You're golden.