Fogbow

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Believe it or not, he's six years old in the photo, living at the Naval Academy. His dad was "popular" because he was head of the Electrical Engineering department. Keep in mind, there was no Electronics Engineering department back in 1934. Electrical Engineering was the cutting edge.

But it's sad that my dad was gonna sink American ships in Annapolis harbor using saluting guns. I mean, get a grip, Pop.

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This one is from 1945, a very weird photo of my dad. "Point" means West Point - he scored the highest entrance scores at both the Naval Academy and West Point in 1945.

He's holding his ear so his brains don't leak out. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. I don't know where my brother in Oregon is finding these, but I love them.

Foggy wrote: ↑Sat May 04, 2024 3:09 pm He's holding his ear so his brains don't leak out. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. I don't know where my brother in Oregon is finding these, but I love them.

These days you can buy an applicator to insert more sawdust into a leaky cranium if you find your IQ dropping.

Good to know, I could use that.

Yeah. Don't use silicone chalk. Take my word for it.

Speaking of music, it's starting to look like we're going to have at least 15, maybe 20 or so people to sing Eternal Father at the church. My father was famous for singing off-key in church, he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, so he compensated by singing LOUD. It was a family joke for his whole life.

Today I was texting with my sibs and my brother asked if we were doing harmony, and who was taking which part. I said, with 15 people who haven't even practiced once in our lives, good luck with harmony. And some of us will sing off-key. If nobody sings off-key, how is that a tribute to our father anyway?

So harmony is out. I'm gonna sing the melody on-key, but LOUD in his honor.

I approve of the people singing loud, even if off key. It's a about singing the hymn together, not a musical performance.

True dat. It's going to be glorious, and cathartic, and healthy, especially for the grandkids. Singing loudly with a group is wonderful at any time, but it will be the perfect way to send him off.

I am still not a Christian, and I have no plans to convert. As y'all know, I am a certified minister myself, I paid a good ten bucks or so. Church of Finding My Way Through the Fog.

But my father was a very religious Christian, and a lot of people in that church remember him and my mom from when they were really active, even though she died in 2005 and he hasn't been able to get there for a while. So I will just have to suffer through the Bible readings and the liturgical stuff from the minister. It's a very liberal Episcopalian church, I imagine it is similar to N10's church, but who knows what kind of minister they'll have.

Tomorrow is gonna be a bad day.

I am super lucky, I got to talk to my dad just a few hours before he passed. I told him we were coming up to see him mañana, and he said he was really excited to see us. But now that trip is canceled. We won't be able to see him again. So that's going to be hard.

Good luck with it Foggy!

"Sweet sorrow" seems to be the operative phrase.

Even for non-believers, it works well to devise a memorial service that not only works for the living participants (giving them joy, closure, acceptance, snacks, whatever they wish) but also one that you think the main player could be looking down on and saying, with pride, "wow, they really made a service for me!"

Yeah, right now I should be packing up the car and getting ready to drive travel to my dad's place for a few days. I talked to him a few hours before he passed, and he was excited to see us (OK, mostly ol' Wifehorn).

And now Gregg is gone, too also. I'd be very grateful if nobody else dies this year. It's only May, but I hit my quota. And went past it.

My sister found a "kick the bucket" folder, a bunch of instructions about how to handle my father's death ... that he compiled in 1999, not knowing he'd be around another 25 years. Most of it is unusable - all the people he wanted to notify are already pining for the fjords, except my 100-year-old aunt/godmother, who is going strong, talked to her yesterday. He did specify Eternal Father, all those years ago.

Oh, well. He was not living a good life in the SNF, and he needed to get the heck out of there. Unfortunately, he left the only way he could.

I miss him, tho ...

@Foggy

I send you my belated condolences to the death of your father, The Admiral.

Foggy wrote: ↑Mon May 06, 2024 7:30 am
I miss him, tho ...

A small gift for you (sized for avi).

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May his memory be a blessing

Quite a life.

Very nice, A life well lived.

Very nice obit. I have avoided offering condolences, but you have them. It was the wrong time to offer them.

I am sorry for your loss but the time comes for us all.

What a life he had!

You have my condolences. It's always hard to lose someone, but he left a positive mark on this world.

Well done Commander. RIP

Foggy, thanks for posting your father's obituary.

What an amazing life he lived! RIP

That obituary will be in the Washington Post today.

I will miss him, of course, but I am certain that he had a perfect death. He was not living any kind of life he wanted to live. He couldn't use the bathroom. He couldn't stand up at all. They had to help him out of bed and into the wheelchair, and then put him back in the bed. Wash him. Feed him. He couldn't even use the phone without my sister's help.

He never complained, but he was such an active man for so many years, and his life in the skilled nursing facility was officially horrible. He needed to get the hell out of there, but there was only one way to get out. So he left us. He went to sleep and didn't wake up.

If that's not a perfect death, I'd like to know what is. If I had the power to wake him up again, I would let him rest instead. He earned it.

Well said, Foggy. Again, my condolences and to you and yours.

Today we are driving traveling up to Bathysphere or wherever it is again, to bury my father. But not starting out until 1:00 or 1:30, on account of how Numbah One Son wanted to work a half day at his new internship with the NC Department of Transportation, this is his first week on the job and he didn't want to take a whole day off.

Which means we won't get to Bathysphere or wherever it is until late, and I will have to deal with a plethora of traffic (Crap'n Karlism). Ah, well, such is the life.

When my mom died, we were florists, so I brought flowers. This time I'm bringing photos on a black poster board and a tripod ... and a eulogy. And my eulogy is gonna be lit.

When my mom died, my dad and one of my sisters wrote eulogies, but they didn't personally read them, they got ministers to do the reading, because they were afraid they'd burst into tears and mess it up. But I didn't recognize the lady who was the subject of those speeches. Apparently, my mom was instantly converted, at the moment of her death, into a saint and a perfect, perfect woman. Nobody mentioned that she was a violent and mean alcoholic who started fights every night of her life and beat her children to the point of injuries (I still have a scar from the time she put out her cigarette on my hand when I wasn't looking).

I didn't rat her out, but I did tell the crowd in the church that she was an athlete who loved to play tennis and water ski. My dad and sister must have forgotten about that, since she lost a leg a few years before she died, and wasn't much of an athlete then.

Anyway, I wrote and delivered a eulogy about the actual woman who was my mom, not some mythical saintly woman that wasn't her, and you could actually recognize her from my speech. I did a good enough job with it that my dad asked me to frame it, and he kept it on the wall in his bedroom, to remind him who my mom really was.

So I will have a good eulogy to send off my dad.

Anybody within hearing: "Well, well, well!"

My dad: "Three wells make a river."

Wow, I haven't heard that one in 40 years, but it was one of his favorite dad jokes.