I'm so sorry. There are no words, except that ventilators are so scary.
"Choose your leaders with wisdom and forethought. To be led by a coward is to be controlled by all that the coward fears… To be led by a liar is to ask to be told lies." -Octavia E. Butler
"Hey! We left this England place because it was bogus, and if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too!" -- Thomas Jefferson
"Choose your leaders with wisdom and forethought. To be led by a coward is to be controlled by all that the coward fears… To be led by a liar is to ask to be told lies." -Octavia E. Butler
I am so very sorry, I can hardly find words. But I am thinking of you and Mr. and hoping for the best. Hang in there, try to care at least a little bit for yourself. Everyone says that, and I know it's hard, your attention is 100% on Mr. and that is quite understandable. I am sending best wishes for healing, health, and comfort.
“A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.”
Short update, still in the ICU, down to 10 liters of oxygen, which is still too high for discharge, and they did get his heart rate down to the 110s, mostly. He hasn't had chemo in almost two months so the leukemia is creeping back in. He's been in the ICU almost a week so he's getting ICU syndrome, confused and angry. He won't eat, he won't cooperate. He was sitting in the recliner when I arrived today, hands cold as ice. I told him I'd get him a warm blanket and all he could say was, "I don't care." That was his response to everything today.
The nurse mentioned that he probably wouldn't be able to leave ICU until at least Monday, but I also overheard him talking to another nurse that another ICU patient had been cleared to move to a regular room but there were none available. I read recently that Florida has the highest per capita of Covid hospital admissions in the country because of course we do. DeSantis is a piece of shit.
BTW, a judge recently ordered him to begin disclosing accurate covid numbers. His administration had been sued and not only did the plaintiffs win, DeSantis agreed and won't appeal. They'd been telling us they "didn't have" the figures of which the plaintiffs were asking. I guess they found them. Must have been in the sock drawer.
So hard. I'm so sorry. I think about both of you all the time.
"Choose your leaders with wisdom and forethought. To be led by a coward is to be controlled by all that the coward fears… To be led by a liar is to ask to be told lies." -Octavia E. Butler
Ah. Sorry he's going through that. Mrs did the same thing.
She would get all defiant - "Get me out of here. I hate this place. These people are idiots. I don't want to eat. Leave me alone."
And then she would get weepy - "Don't go. Don't leave me here. I don't want to be alone."
Usually it was her pain talking. I'd do my best to cajole another two milligrams of dilaudid out of the nurse. Some would. Some waited until the prescribed time, and then wondered why she was crying and totally uncooperative. There were a couple times I almost pee'd my pants because I couldn't leave the unit to use the visitor bathroom.
The ICU nurse called early this morning so I rushed in. His breathing has deteriorated to the use of bipap. He is DNI. Everything is slowing down. Not looking good. I’ve called his kids but they were just here last week.
But he seems comfortable. He’s not responsive other than opening his eyes when I speak to him but I’m not seeing recognition.
"Mickey Mouse and I grew up together." - Ruthie Tompson, Disney animation checker and scene planner and one of the first women to become a member of the International Photographers Union in 1952.