My own little corner.

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Sugar Magnolia
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My own little corner.


Post by Sugar Magnolia » Wed Jul 06, 2016 7:50 am

I hope nobody minds, but I'm going to use this thread for myself to bitch and moan and sort of journal some of what we're going through. It's not really a thread for anyone but me, so please don't feel like you have to read it or comment on it or anything like that. I'm not asking for sympathy either. I just don't have any other place I can write all this stuff down sort of semi-privately and I don't think "friends" on facebook need to see the nasty underbelly. Facebook, to me, is more for the kitten video side of life.

So anyway, my cheerful update last night was a load of shit. We went in for a simple 1.5 hour procedure so they could put the pieces of her cheekbone back in place with a little eye patch thing taped over it for a week to hold the shape so her face wouldn't be lopsided. Easy enough. They would go in through her mouth so no more scars, even. The doctors were expecting it to be so fast and easy they even worked us in a day early, between other surgeries. Of course, that's not even close to what happened.

In pre-op, the doctor starts talking about a bone graft on her top jawbone where all the teeth were knocked out. The bone was so damaged from the blows (a wrench will do that to you) that there wasn't enough left for them to do the dental implants down the road. They had to do the bone graft at some point and better to do it while she's already under than do a second surgery. The problem was that her gums were so chopped up from him bashing her teeth out that they didn't know if there would be enough tissue to cover the graft. They initially wanted to take a flap of tissue from the roof of her mouth and flip it back over the front, but they couldn't do that because the attack had embedded broken teeth in the roof of her mouth and damaged that too badly. 8 hours later, after the surgery, the doc said they had been able to take enough from around her molars to do the repair. I'm thankful they did it all at once, but it increased her pain level horribly because of the pressure of her swollen cheeks on the transplant site at the back of her mouth.

So they wrapped her face up from her nose to her throat with stuff that looks like packing tape to hold all the assorted pieces in place for a few days. Trying to avoid that whole 'lopsided' face thing. She basically has a hole through the tape for a straw, which she can't actually use because she can't close (or open) her mouth. She sort of leans back and pours Sprite in when she has to take pills. With a towel handy for the overflow. And there is overflow. Speaking of the pain meds, my husband and I took separate cars to the hospital so I could bring her home and he could go straight to the drugstore for the prescriptions. It was a great plan because she was in such pain we were glad she wouldn't have to wait. Except that the prescriptions the hospital gave her had "COPY" watermarked all over them. My husband said the pharmacist was so apologetic, but she couldn't take them. He had to go back to the hospital, run down a nurse in the recovery room, explain the problem and then listen to everyone up there marvel at how something like that could happen. It took them a while to even figure out how to correct it since the scripts had already been printed off once and the computer wasn't letting them print them again. Clusterfuck and it took him over an hour to get back. Meanwhile., she's lying in bed sobbing from the pain.

Even the simplest things are an ordeal for her at this point. You would think getting the IV in would be the least of her problems, but her left arm is in a plastic brace thing to the elbow (for the broken fingers) and she's had so many IVs in her right arm this week they couldn't hit a vein and that hand is still so swollen they couldn't find a vein so they finally had to put the IV in the vein that runs across the base of her thumb. Of course, they were sticking her multiple times before they found that vein, and it's apparently a very painful location to use. They warned her that her hand would be sore for days. Of course it would.

They couldn't even remove all the staples from her head so that's another appointment we'll have to make, and more pain she has to put up with for a few more days. The hand doctor is this morning to decide when they'll do the surgery on one finger and decide if she needs surgery on the second one. She apparently got her finger through the hole in the handle of the wrench while he was beating on her and messed it up pretty well. She also took a blow directly to the knuckle on another finger that left an open wound. They were so worried about the open fracture in the ER that they just sewed it up and didn't try to set either one of them. They wrapped it up and put her in a brace and said they may have to re-break one or both once the wound healed. A "better option than infection" they said.

No word yet on any arrests and of course the investigator isn't going to tell me anything.

I am really not looking for sympathy, I just need a place to brain dump all this shit while I try to process what they have done to my beautiful baby.

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Patagoniagirl » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:02 am

I know that you aren't looking for sympathy. And I don't mean to intrude, but when I read "My own little corner", I wept. My heart is broken for you. And had I not had something similar happen in my life, my heart would still be broken. And more mostly, I get the dichotomy of keeping a stiff upper lip and needing a place to let it all out. I will say no more but send you my love.

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Mockingbird » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:17 am

You are not only benefitting yourself and your daughter, but quietly leading us with your good example of knowing and honoring your need to vent in a place full of wise, sturdy, and compassionate folks.

As for the son of a bitch who did that to her, I tend to think that he will earn his own corner of agony without interference by the law.

Respect! to you for your faithful and prudent course in the face of tragedy.

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Foggy » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:20 am

I send you many hugs, my heroic friend. Many, many hugs. :bighug:

Hopefully, this will blossom into a snowball.

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Jim » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:23 am

Foggy wrote:I send you many hugs, my heroic friend. Many, many hugs. :bighug:

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by RVInit » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:31 am

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

"I know that human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
--- George W Bush


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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Somerset » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:33 am

I'm quietly reading.

And sending many, many, many hugs.

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by phaseolus » Wed Jul 06, 2016 9:18 am

All of these :yeah: :yeah: :yeah: :yeah: :yeah: :yeah:

Also too, you have my permission to slap people who insist on saying "everything happens for a reason".

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Mikedunford » Wed Jul 06, 2016 9:25 am

Somerset wrote:I'm quietly reading.

And sending many, many, many hugs.

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
:yeah: :yeah:

:bighug: x lots

I'm here if you need anything.

I believe that each era finds a improvement in law each year brings something new for the benefit of mankind.

--Clarence Earl Gideon

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Sterngard Friegen » Wed Jul 06, 2016 9:42 am

I don't know what to add except :bighug:

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by RoadScholar » Wed Jul 06, 2016 10:07 am

And in case you run out: :bighug:

The bitterest truth is healthier than the sweetest lie.

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Paul Lentz » Wed Jul 06, 2016 10:18 am

:bighug: :pray: :bighug: :pray: :bighug:

And more from CB and me, Sugar Mags. There is, in my opinion, no greater trial than to see your child hurt and suffering, despite every best effort to heal her. It rips your heart out, robs your appetite, and stands as a solid wall between you and any possibility of decent rest.

All we really know how to do is pray, and we have been, and will continue to do so, for Aidan's full recovery, and for yours, my friend, and for yours.

The love of power will not win over the power of love.
Orlando, Florida 6/12/16

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Packard » Wed Jul 06, 2016 10:54 am

I have no words...just tears and a great big hug :bighug:

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by DejaMoo » Wed Jul 06, 2016 11:03 am

Sugar, I get so distressed just reading about your daughter's ordeal, I simply can't think how you have been able to cope. You are a very brave and strong woman, and your daughter obviously got that from you. My best to both of you.

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by kate520 » Wed Jul 06, 2016 11:06 am

Hugs and love, Sugar. You and Aidan are daily in my thoughts. I'm glad you have this place where you can just sit down and be real.

Man, I hope they catch that little, sub-human motherfucker! :madguy:


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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Sequoia32 » Wed Jul 06, 2016 11:59 am

Pour it all out here, Sugar. We'll listen and and give hugs. :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

So far every case of Ebola in this country got it by helping people. So relax, Republicans, you're in the clear. - Tina Dupuy

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Wintermute » Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:12 pm

Aw Sugar, I don't even know what to say. :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

It's not original but Fuck Trump that guy!

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by SuzieC » Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:22 pm

I haven't been here for a while so just finished reading this thread and the "hijack" thread to find out what happened. What a horrible, awful thing for you, your daughter, and your whole family. Your daughter sounds like a strong, tough young woman. My best wishes and hugs to all. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Flatpointhigh » Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:37 pm

Much love to all of you.
:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

"It is wrong to say God made rich and poor; He only made male and female, and He gave them the Earth as their inheritance."- Thomas Paine, Forward to Agrarian Justice
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Re: My own little corner.


Post by chancery » Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:47 pm

:bighug: :bighug:

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Chilidog » Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:56 pm

What they all said.


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Re: My own little corner.


Post by magdalen77 » Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:06 pm


I'm so sorry and I'm wishing mayhem on the SOB who did this.

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Sugar Magnolia
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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Sugar Magnolia » Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:48 pm

So the plan was to go to the hand assessment and then for a quick follow-up from the face surgery yesterday. A good friend of mine is the hand doctor's nurse so she got us in quickly and made me feel better. By the time we got in the exam room Aidan was trembling from the pain in her face and almost in tears. They warned her not to cry because of the packing tape and sniffling so it's a huge effort on her part, on top of everything else. The doc was in and out pretty quick without a lot of poking on her hand, too. They set it up so we can skip the pre-op stuff next week (Tues) when they do the surgery. They're putting pins in her finger and then she'll have to go back in a month to have them taken out. Then 6-8 months of physical therapy to get use of the fingers back as close to 100% as possible. The other finger is a simple break that will heal with nothing more than immobilization. At one point a resident came in to see the x-rays and examine the finger and he said "looks like it got crushed by a hammer" and the 3 of us, in unison, said "wrench." It was sort of funny and horrible at the same time.

We had to come straight home and skip the face doctor because she is in such pain. She's lying in the bed crying, saying "mama, I just want it to stop hurting" and it is ripping my heart out.

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Mikedunford » Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:51 pm

:crying: :crying:

I believe that each era finds a improvement in law each year brings something new for the benefit of mankind.

--Clarence Earl Gideon

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Re: My own little corner.


Post by Fiona » Wed Jul 06, 2016 2:33 pm

May I express my deepest empathy for you and your family.

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