Weird Headlines

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Dolly
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Re: Weird Headlines

#501

Post by Dolly » Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:11 pm

NotaPerson wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:04 pm
MsDaisy wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:44 pm
A Russian professor was pulled from a river. Police said a woman's arms were found in his rucksack
The WP's headline:

Russia’s greatest Napoleonic reenactor was found drunk in a river with the severed arms of his lover in his backpack

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/eu ... story.html
{insert tasteless 2nd Amendment snark here}

On a serious note, that is awful, horrible, and disturbing news. Poor woman.


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Gregg
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Re: Weird Headlines

#502

Post by Gregg » Sun Nov 10, 2019 10:39 pm

If it happened here, Lindsey Graham would be saying that we ony have the arms, no one knows what happened, and there are no witnesses that connect him to any crime.

Susan Collins would be deeply concerned but she has to vote her conscience so she will, with a heavy somber heart, vote with him anyway.

Mitt Romney would be hiding in a secure room under the Mormon Tabernacle.

And the White House would have that part time girl go on Fox News and point out that severing a girls arms isn't a crime anyway, and besides, the guy who called 911 to report it didn't see what happened, he just heard ''some noises'' down by the river and he won't even testify. How can we believe anything, the guy in the river, the severed arms, the backpack? How can we believe anything at all about any of that, if the guy who called 911 isn't made to face the man he's accusing.

And Devin Nunes, taking time from chasing a fake cow, would want to know if the girl with the severed arms was hiding the DNC server has been sending lunch to Democrats in Denver and did she help hide the E-Mails and ..... MOO


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Sam the Centipede
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Re: Weird Headlines

#503

Post by Sam the Centipede » Mon Nov 11, 2019 2:38 am

And Sean Hannity would invent rumors that an unnamed source saw two severed hands in Hillary Clinton's purse five years earlier and that ths alleged outrage must be investigated first.



Uninformed
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Re: Weird Headlines

#504

Post by Uninformed » Sun Nov 17, 2019 7:30 am

"MAN WHO STRANGLED SISTER TO DEATH BELIEVED HIS CHICKEN DINNER WAS POSSESSED BY SATAN"

https://www.newsweek.com/auditor-strang ... an-1471724?



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RoadScholar
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Re: Weird Headlines

#505

Post by RoadScholar » Sun Nov 17, 2019 7:37 am

Dolly wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:11 pm
NotaPerson wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 7:04 pm
MsDaisy wrote:
Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:44 pm
A Russian professor was pulled from a river. Police said a woman's arms were found in his rucksack
The WP's headline:

Russia’s greatest Napoleonic reenactor was found drunk in a river with the severed arms of his lover in his backpack

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/eu ... story.html
{insert tasteless 2nd Amendment snark here}

On a serious note, that is awful, horrible, and disturbing news. Poor woman.
Wasn’t that a play by Bernard Shaw?


The bitterest truth is healthier than the sweetest lie.
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neonzx
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Re: Weird Headlines

#506

Post by neonzx » Sun Nov 17, 2019 6:07 pm

SNL posts follow-up to Popeyes Chicken Sandwich mania.



To which Trump replied, Fuck the law. I don't give a fuck about the law. I want my fucking money.

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Whatever4
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Re: Weird Headlines

#507

Post by Whatever4 » Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:36 pm

South Dakota just launched a new anti-meth campaign. Its slogan: ‘Meth. We’re on it’

Really.
A serious issue nevertheless prompted some online ridicule after South Dakota released a new anti-meth awareness campaign featuring a wide variety of people declaring, “I’m on meth.”

On Monday, Governor Kristi Noem said her Department of Social Services had launched the “largest and most aggressive meth campaign that our state has seen or done before.” The campaign, which reportedly cost the state nearly half a million dollars, includes a TV ad, billboards, posters, and a website: onmeth.com.

The campaign’s slogan — “Meth. We’re on it” — is also seen superimposed over the state outline on the campaign’s website.

In a 30-second video posted to YouTube by the campaign, dramatic piano music accompanies a cast of South Dakotans declaring, “I’m on meth.” A narrator then says, “Meth is not someone else’s problem. It’s everyone in South Dakota’s problem, and we need everyone to get on it.”

Despite the seriousness of the issue, many mocked the new motto online. One Twitter user posted: “Surprising anti-meth campaign in South Dakota. With the theme ‘Meth. I’m on it,’ what could go wrong?”
https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/nation ... 3Afacebook


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pipistrelle
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Re: Weird Headlines

#508

Post by pipistrelle » Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:44 pm

That slogan is gonna draw employers and business, amiright?



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Chilidog
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Re: Weird Headlines

#509

Post by Chilidog » Mon Nov 18, 2019 11:18 pm

It kind of reminds me of this classic..


Image



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neonzx
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Re: Weird Headlines

#510

Post by neonzx » Tue Nov 19, 2019 9:36 am

FOX has filed a trademark application for "OK BOOMER."

No. Just No. :nope: :talktothehand:


Josh Gerben@JoshGerben

FOX has filed a trademark application for "OK BOOMER."

The media giant filed the application on November 11th.

According to the filing, FOX intends to launch a reality, comedy and/or game show called OK BOOMER.


To which Trump replied, Fuck the law. I don't give a fuck about the law. I want my fucking money.

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Whatever4
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Re: Weird Headlines

#511

Post by Whatever4 » Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:37 pm

'Oh, Buck No!' Deer butchered in the middle of a North Carolina nail salon, according to customer
HIGH POINT, N.C. — Morgan Taylor, a High Point University Student, says she was getting her nails done Wednesday evening at Diamond Nails on N. Centennial Street.

Taylor said one nail technician began to butcher a deer right in front of her eyes.

'Hunting for a new nail salon in High Point, North Carolina?' She wrote on social media.

'Talk about multitaskers: manicures, pedicures, and amateur deer butchers. Oh deer!'

She used the hashtag #OhBuckNo.

https://www.newscentermaine.com/article ... 804d5b9c3a


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RoadScholar
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Re: Weird Headlines

#512

Post by RoadScholar » Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:34 pm

Sorry, saw the Maine newspaper link.


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Re: Weird Headlines

#513

Post by kate520 » Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:39 pm

Good Lord, South Dakota, are you really this tone-deaf? I understand your underlying attempt to reduce the stigma, but dude, this reads like an invitation to join the club. 🤦‍♀️


DEFEND DEMOCRACY

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DejaMoo
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Re: Weird Headlines

#514

Post by DejaMoo » Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:41 pm

This, I must say, is quintessentially Wisconsin. Except for the brand of beer. Hamm's is Minnesota. Leinie's would've been the Wisconsin beer of choice.

Police Performing DUI Arrest Discover Man Has License Plates Made From Beer Boxes
Police who pulled over a man in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, were flummoxed when they tried to run his license plates only to discover they were made out of recycled Hamm's beer boxes.

CBS Local reported that the incident happened on November 15, when officer Scott Schoenwetter observed a car swerving wildly. He turned on his lights, and the driver pulled to the side of the road. Upon exiting the vehicle, the officer gave the man, identified as 27-year-old Nicholas Layton, a field sobriety test, which he failed.

Schoenwetter ran the man's ID and saw that he had three previous DUI offenses. He then ran the car's license plate number, only to discover it was not registered to the vehicle. He called the owner of the car the plates were registered to, only to be told that nothing was amiss with their vehicle.

Looking closer, the officer removed the plates and found they had been painted by hand on rectangular pieces of cardboard cut out of Hamm's beer boxes.


I've heard this bull before.

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RTH10260
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Re: Weird Headlines

#515

Post by RTH10260 » Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:47 pm

With such good quality fakes the guy must have a yuuuge market with the sovcits :-D



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Maybenaut
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Re: Weird Headlines

#516

Post by Maybenaut » Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:50 pm

DejaMoo wrote: This, I must say, is quintessentially Wisconsin. Except for the brand of beer. Hamm's is Minnesota. Leinie's would've been the Wisconsin beer of choice.
I have a few appellate counsel friends, and we sometimes engage in “guess the substance” discussions based on the geographic region the crime was committed. We never got as granular as specific states, but it was like,

upper midwest - Jeigermeister
Gulf coast - PBR
Miami - MDMA
NYC - cocaine

We’re right about half the time.


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Whatever4
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Re: Weird Headlines

#517

Post by Whatever4 » Fri Nov 22, 2019 9:10 pm

Maybenaut wrote:
Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:50 pm
DejaMoo wrote: This, I must say, is quintessentially Wisconsin. Except for the brand of beer. Hamm's is Minnesota. Leinie's would've been the Wisconsin beer of choice.
I have a few appellate counsel friends, and we sometimes engage in “guess the substance” discussions based on the geographic region the crime was committed. We never got as granular as specific states, but it was like,

upper midwest - Jeigermeister
Gulf coast - PBR
Miami - MDMA
NYC - cocaine

We’re right about half the time.
Verbalobe and Listeme had to pull down the defectively-built chimney on their Rehabbin’ Cabin, only to discover that the flashing was built out of Bud Light cartons and liquid nails.


"[Moderate] doesn't mean you don't have views. It just means your views aren't predictable ideologically one way or the other, and you're trying to follow the facts where they lead and reach your own conclusions."
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ArthurWankspittle
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Re: Weird Headlines

#518

Post by ArthurWankspittle » Sat Nov 23, 2019 4:37 am

This has Kaptain Karl all over it. Or maybe he was never sober enough to paint straight.


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Re: Weird Headlines

#519

Post by Volkonski » Mon Nov 25, 2019 11:00 am

A man driving a banana car was pulled over. The trooper gave him $20 instead of a ticket.

https://www.chron.com/news/article/A-ma ... o-18663859
Steve Braithwaite spotted the flashing blue-and-red police lights - and promptly pulled his banana off the road.

Braithwaite, 59, has spent the past two years driving his homemade, banana-shaped convertible across America, offering pay-what-you-can rides to fund his days and sleeping nights on strangers' couches or in cheap motels. He's become quite familiar with the police: Officers often pull him over, friendly but curious, and ask what on earth he's doing.

So when he saw the state trooper ease onto the road behind him as he was driving down U.S. 223 near Adrian, Michigan, on Oct. 27, Braithwaite thought he knew what was coming.

:snippity:

Braithwaite also explained his banana road trip, which he calls "The World Needs More Whimsy Grand Tour." The trooper took Braithwaite's license and walked away. When he returned, he handed the license back - but something was different. "He had wrapped 20 bucks around it!," Braithwaite said. "[Then] he just said, 'Safe travels.'"
Image


Image“If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war.”
― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

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Re: Weird Headlines

#520

Post by Volkonski » Mon Nov 25, 2019 1:13 pm

Texas border agents seize 154 pounds of bologna from driver at El Paso port

https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texa ... m=referral
The seizure occurred Thursday after 9 a.m. at the Bridge of the Americas international crossing in El Paso, Texas where agents stopped a Chevrolet pickup with a Texas license plate that was entering from Mexico, officials said. When the officer asked the man what he was bringing in from Mexico, the driver said he had frozen rolls of turkey ham.

The vehicle was inspected a second time and agents then discovered 14 rolls of Mexican bologna weighing about 154 pounds behind the rear seat of the truck, officials said.

Bologna importation is prohibited because it is made from pork, which could introduce foreign animal diseases to the U.S. industry.
Image


Image“If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war.”
― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

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Re: Weird Headlines

#521

Post by Whatever4 » Fri Nov 29, 2019 9:43 pm

Woman gives birth to baby at Concord rotary as boyfriend runs to nearby prison for help
A woman gave birth to a baby alone in a car at a rotary in Concord on Thursday morning while the father ran to a nearby prison to get help, the mother said.

Hunter William Mignone was born to Alyssa Sughrue around 5:30 a.m. Thursday at the Concord Rotary on Route 2, said Leah Lesser, a spokeswoman for Emerson Hospital. The mother’s water broke about 30 minutes before at her home in Tyngsborough.

“I could tell [the baby] wasn’t going to wait, so he started to crown, so I yelled at my boyfriend to pull over,” Sughrue said. “I told him to stop on the rotary, which probably wasn’t the safest thing. He pulled into a prison parking lot and ran to get some help. I ended up just having the baby and pulling him out.”

MCI-Concord is located at the rotary.
https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2019/ ... 3Afacebook


"[Moderate] doesn't mean you don't have views. It just means your views aren't predictable ideologically one way or the other, and you're trying to follow the facts where they lead and reach your own conclusions."
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Foggy
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Re: Weird Headlines

#522

Post by Foggy » Sat Nov 30, 2019 7:55 am

In the US we call them traffic circles. :blink:

Every other kid nowadays is named Hunter. Do people also name their kids Fisherman? Root Gatherer? Fire Starter? :think:


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Suranis
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Re: Weird Headlines

#523

Post by Suranis » Sat Nov 30, 2019 10:26 am

Over here we call them Roundabouts.


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pipistrelle
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Re: Weird Headlines

#524

Post by pipistrelle » Sat Nov 30, 2019 10:34 am

Suranis wrote:
Sat Nov 30, 2019 10:26 am
Over here we call them Roundabouts.
I'm not over there but that's what they're called here.



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Foggy
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Re: Weird Headlines

#525

Post by Foggy » Sat Nov 30, 2019 12:06 pm

In my world 'roundabout' is a way of saying things when you don't want to say them directly. :lol:


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