Nibiru is coming

[RoadScholar]

Slarti will be pining for the fjords?

Nah, he's just tuckered out after one of his prolonged squawks.

[Foggy]

Crap! My Nibiru glasses didn't get here in the mail yet! How am I supposed to watch the invisible planet colliding with the Earth?????

[vic]

Crap! My Nibiru glasses didn't get here in the mail yet! How am I supposed to watch the invisible planet colliding with the Earth?????

Pinless Chicken Peepers Pheasant Poultry Blinders Spectacles

[Sterngard Friegen]

Crap! My Nibiru glasses didn't get here in the mail yet! How am I supposed to watch the invisible planet colliding with the Earth?????

Well, whatever you do, DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT!

[Notorial Dissent]

Christian Astrologers are every bit as funny in and unfunny way. There is, or at least to used to be one down in FL, ran a big church and was really full of it. I used to get a kick out of laughing at his nonsense on late night TV when I was bored out of my mind.

I wholly agree on the can't be part.

[Fortinbras]

I have a small problem. Having run up an astronomical bill on my credit cards (and other forms of credit) at Vegas in anticipation of the End of the World today, the fact that it is already past 5 pm and the world is still here creates some very definite logistical problems, includiing covering some enormous personal checks and some diplomatic advances with a gentleman known as Vinny The Rib-Breaker. Suggestions are solicited.

[Suranis]

Try accessing the secret bank account the goverment runs in your name. Send me $200 and I'll tell you how.

[Foggy]

Sorry, Forty, if my Nibiru glasses had arrived I'm sure the world would have ended by now.

[kate520]

Forty, you up the proverbial creek. However, it is not yet 5pm on the West coast, so all is not lost!

[raicha]

When is the damn thing gonna get here? I was hoping to avoid washing the car forever...

[Notorial Dissent]

Damn, did the world end and I forgot to notice? My house cleaning and laundry's still not done. The world can't end, my house isn't clean.

[Whatever4]

The world ended right on time, but was replaced with a identical duplicate.

[maydijo]

I think the world actually ended last November 8. At least it sure felt like that at the time . . .

[Sterngard Friegen]

The world ended right on time, but was replaced with a identical duplicate.

Well, almost identical. Slightly different rules of English grammar.

[boots]

It could still end today. There's a few hours left here on the West Coast.

[Suranis]

AAAAGH!! The EARTH HAS MOVED BETWEEN US AND THE SUN!

[Volkonski]

David Meade Reschedules Apocalypse for October After World Didn't End

http://www.newsweek.com/doomsday-conspi ... ber-670253

The conspiracy theorist who supposedly predicted the world would end on September 23 has clarified his doomsday prophecy, saying the rapture is, in fact, coming in October.

David Meade, a self-proclaimed "researcher" and Catholic who hit global headlines last week, believes the end of the world as we know it, as foretold in the biblical Book of Revelation, will take place next month and the 23rd was simply a sign of the oncoming of the oncoming disaster.

Writing on his website, Meade clarified his belief that the 23rd is the date of a “historical event” in the skies that would signal the oncoming rapture. Doomsday itself, he says, will begin on October 15.

That date marks the beginning of a seven-year period of tribulation. “That’s when the action starts. Hold on and watch—wait until the middle of October and I don’t believe you’ll be disappointed,” he writes.

[Foggy]

... the 23rd was simply a sign of the oncoming disaster ... the date of a “historical event” in the skies that would signal the oncoming rapture.

And what, pray tell, was the historical event in the skies? My Nibiru glasses got here this morning, but I missed it Saturday.

Doomsday itself, he says, will begin on October 15 ...wait until the middle of October and I don’t believe you’ll be disappointed,” he writes.

Actually, I might could be a tad disappointed if the world does end on Oct. 15.

[Grumpy Old Guy]

https://allpoetry.com/The-Hollow-Men

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

[Fortinbras]

"Doomsday itself will begin on Oct. 15th"

How long is Doomsday supposed to last? I thought from the very name it would be finished in only one day, but now I start to think it's gonna last as long as the building of the Second Avenue Subway. Whatever happened to quick endings??

[Notorial Dissent]

Having missed its shot Sept 23, the conspiraloons are now saying it will wipe out all life on Nov 19. Terral Croft is now predicting seismic upheaval for the end of Nov in to Dec. He doesn't come right out and say what year, FWIW.

[Orlylicious]

Thanks, Obama.

[Northland10]

Having missed its shot Sept 23, the conspiraloons are now saying it will wipe out all life on Nov 19. Terral Croft is now predicting seismic upheaval for the end of Nov in to Dec. He doesn't come right out and say what year, FWIW.

I think I missed another memo. It is now the 20th and I'm still here.

At least the lectionary for Sunday was thinking of them:

Zephaniah 1:7

Be silent before the Lord God!
For the day of the Lord is at hand;

Unfortunately, the second reading didn't help the end of the world conspiracy folks.

1 Thessalonians 5:1

Now concerning the times and the seasons, brothers and sisters, you do not need to have anything written to you. For you yourselves know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.

[Notorial Dissent]

Latest or soon to be on the conspiraloon hit list,

The asteroid 3200 Phaethon, a dainty wee thing of about 3 miles diameter, will come screaming past the earth at a mere 6.4M miles distance in a near pass on its closest approach in 40 years on Dec 16.

[Northland10]

These people are starting to piss me off. I thought I wouldn't have to practice Advent and Christmas music but NOOOOOOOO, their prophecy fell as flat as Florida State football.